Sucks to be: Ken Carson

Ken Carson? Who the Hell is Ken Carson? Until today I didnt know he had a last name, all I knew him as was Ken of "Barbie and Ken." But youre him, and on the surface, your life is awesome. Youre a decent looking dude, you dont seem to be tied down to a job, you apparently always hang out at the beach, and youre banging Barbie. You got it made.

Or do you.

In real life, I work at a major retail establishment - the cool one - and the other day at work I saw a toy called "Barbies Fantasy Groom" and I suddenly realized, it must TOTALLY suck to be Ken.
I get that Barbie is the girl equivalent of GI Joe, and shes supposed to make girls feel great about themselves and whatever, but even as a little boy I had female GI Joe figures. Not "Nancy: GI Joes secretary" or "Sue: GI Joes housekeeper" but Scarlett (counter intelligence), Lady Jay (covert ops), Jinx (ninja), and Baroness (bad ass bitch). But with Ken, you just get the token male figure. A poorly defined character whos only apparent reason for existence is to be Barbies boyfriend. Its borderline sexist.

Lets look at careers for example. Did you know that theres a whole page on Wikipedia dedicated to Barbies careers? I didnt either. But if ya wanna look: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie's_careers
Anywho, Barbie has been a teacher 12 times, in the military 6 times, dabbled in politics 6 times including becoming President, an astronaut 3 times, a flight attendant 9 times, a NASCAR driver once, plus countless other occupations including artist, Sea World trainer, super hero, and Starfleet officer.

Ken? Well, hes Barbies boyfriend.

So hes pretty much never had a job in his life, and his girlfriend has apparently done every job in the world, so his self esteem is probably kinda low. Then it takes another nose dive when his gal of 45 years dumps him - the day before Valentines Day - for an Australian surfer named Blaine. What... a... bitch!
Seriously, I give the dude props for not going into "Barbies Dream Gun Store" and getting a pistol to blow his brains out.
They would stay apart for two years until Barbie got tired of Blaine and moved on to a new career... I mean boyfriend... and got back with good ol' Ken.
So Ken finally has a job, Barbie has slowed down a bit, theyre married and have two kids. Life is just peachy for the Carsons. Yeah, not so much.
Ken is still collecting unemployment, Barbie cant decide what the Hell she wants to do with her life, theres no ring on her finger, no kids running around the house, and - the genesis of this post - Barbie is fantasizing about a groom thats clearly NOT Ken: http://tinyurl.com/26grgey

But hey, hes Carson, Ken Carson, and lifes not all bad cuz hes Barbies boyfriend and hes giving it to her good! Hes sliding into home every night! Hes putting the biscuit in the basket! The hot dog in the bun! Theyre having hot, wild, plastic toy whoopie. Hes putting his... HUH?! You got to be kidding me!!! Ken has no wee-wee?! Its not small, its non-existent! No wonder the bimbo broke up with him and is dreaming of other guys to marry: Ken Carson is literally built like a Ken doll.

I guess that also explains why he has no kung-fu grip either.

Yes, Ken Carson, it does suck to be you.

-- DBW --

Not Necessarily The News

Howdy --

In the recent past Ive written a few politically inspired posts and, at least, the majority of them have come off, probably intentionally, as anti-Republican. Or anti-friends-of-Republicans. This one will be the same since it deals with Fox News. Ahem, excuse me... Fox "News." I feel better now.

Before I do get into that, I feel the need to point out my political affiliation. Do I need to? No. But I choose to because I believe in full disclosure.
Currently, as of today, if I had to put labels on myself, Id probably say Im Liberal and lean towards the Democratic stance.
However, going back a few Presidents, I would have voted for Reagan, Bush #1 once, Clinton twice, Bush #2 once, Gore once, and then Obama. So of the last seven elections I would have voted for a Republican three times. Not bad for a "Democrat-leaning Liberal."

Anywho, lets move on.

As most of you know, theres a war going on right now. No, not the one in Iraq. Or Afghanistan. Or Burma. Or Somalia. Or even the epic civil war in Ingushetia. The last one is real too, look it up.
No, what Im talking about is the violent, bloody, war going on between Fox "News" and the White House.
In my opinion, there is a level of bias throughout most news organizations. At least the major ones. There isnt supposed to be, obviously, and news is just supposed to be news, but I suppose its to be expected when you have humans with human emotions writing and reporting on events of the world.
However, what Fox "News" does goes far beyond bias and instead is firmly planted in the territory of misdirection, misquotation, exaggeration, and most evil of all... fabrication. News organizations report on events, not stage them, and yet Fox "News" has done that very thing. And then reported on them as if they naturally occurred.
ANY group or individual would get to the point where they just get tired of all the lies and attacks, and the White House has finally gotten to the point and called Fox "News" out for what they really are: "The reality of it is, Fox News often operates almost as the research arm, or the communications arm, of the Republican Party."
What Fox "News" should have done was say "Yeah, and...?" but instead they got their panties in a bunch and exaggerated that comment to the point where the White House is now (paraphrasing) "A Russian cabal intent on abusing their power to censor Fox News from pumping truth into the homes of the American people." Hilarious.
I always find it funny that the group - or person - yelling the most, throwing the most punches, and otherwise unfairly attacking someone else is ALWAYS the one that complains the loudest when they get punched back. Seriously, Rush devotes blocks of his radio program to his "attackers" while Fox sets aside hours of their "News" programming to theirs. This, despite the fact that their entire existences are to do the very same thing they claim others are unfairly doing to them.

Everyone knows what Fox "News" really is, including Fox "News", and so I wasnt even going to write a word about any of this. Not one. That is, until I saw what Fox "News" Senior Vice President Michael Clemente said: "Its astounding the White House cannot distinguish between news and opinion programming. It seems self serving on their part."
Yes, you read that correctly, the head of Fox "News" CLEARLY said that Fox "News" is... NOT... news! AND he blamed the White House for being too stupid to know this even though Fox calls its programming NEWS, they have the "Fox NEWS" logo on the screen, and the ONLY people you associate with Fox NEWS - "Fox and Friends", Neil Cavuto, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Greta Van Susteren, Bill O'Reilly - are featured in their "Fair and Balanced" NEWS promos.
So let me get this straight... Foxs producers create stories which they can then have their - admittedly - NOT NEWS people report on, and then when they get called out for it say "Youre too dumb not to see the truth" and then turn around and have their - admittedly - NOT NEWS people cry foul because people are calling them NOT NEWS. How does that make ANY sense at all?! And why does my head suddenly hurt?

Anywho.

This past Thursday I was watching The Daily Show and Jon Stewart pretty much bitch slapped Fox "News" for the very same reason I was writing this post. And, admittedly, they did so using sound bites and video clips and were much funnier, and informative, than anything I could write here.
So even though I had intentions of writing more, and could possibly lay claim that I was going to write it first, anything else I can say would probably be plagiarization, so Ill just link to the clip and let yall watch Jon tell you what I was thinking. Enjoy.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-october-29-2009/for-fox-sake-

Til next time...

-- DBW --

It sucks to be: Rush Limbaugh

Rush. Rush. Rush. Why does it suck to be you... today?

I could have written about how he wanted to buy the St Louis Rams of the NFL, and how the players, the coaches, the commissioner, everybody involved with the league said "Umm... youre a hate mongering racist and we dont want you" and so he was dropped from the group trying to buy the team.

I could have written about that. But... no, I went with this: http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93122?fp=1

Full disclosure: I am NOT a Rush Limbaugh fan. Not even a little bit. I think hes one of the most vile people on the planet with no redeeming qualities and should he die today the world would be a better place.
Part of the reason I despise him is because of the way he attacks people. Its one thing to be critical of someone or something, and do so in a responsible way, but what he does is attack people and never lets facts get in the way. What Ive labeled that kind of attack is a "drive-by" which just means he slows down, takes a couple shots, and then speeds away hoping he does enough damage to his target and doesnt care about anything else. Even the truth.
The are sites on the net devoted to keeping track of Rushs lies. And if it was an occasional thing, there wouldnt be enough for a site, but luckily for those webmasters, he does it practically on a daily basis. Heres a quick article about Rush intentionally, and continually, lying and misquoting people: http://obamapolitics.com/node/154

Rushs latest "drive-by" target was one of his favorites: President Obama. See, when President Obama was just "college student Obama" he wrote a thesis titled "Aristocracy Reborn" in which he described his "doubts" about the "so-called founders" of the United States, among other things.
So Rush, doing what Rush does, went on his radio show and proceeded to tear into the President about his college views: "This... little... boy, in college, writing about it with utter disdain, and he STILL shares those same feelings!"

One small fact: the supposed college thesis written by Obama while in college was actually written a bit ago by some guy, for his blog, and CLEARLY labeled as "satire."
But again, Rush never lets little things like facts get in his way of smearing somebody. Its always "shoot first, and never ask questions later."
To his credit, he did apologize on his radio show for being a dumb ass and believing "satire" meant "truth." Oh, wait, its Rush Limbaugh, so he didnt really apologize. Instead, he issued this statement:
"We have to hold out the possibility that this is not accurate. However, I have had this happen to me recently. I have had quotes attributed to me that were made up. And when it was pointed out to the media that the quotes were made up they said "It doesnt matter, we know Limbaugh thinks it anyway." Sorta like Dan Rather said "I dont care if these documents are forged, I know that Bush did what he did at the National Guard, I dont care if the documents are forged." "I dont care if the Limbaugh quotes are made up." So I can say I dont care if these quotes are made up, I know Obama thinks it. You know why I know Obama thinks it? Because Ive heard him say it."
Oh Rushipoo, even when youre wrong you still claim to be right, doncha? "Person A did it to me, so I have the right to turn around and do it to Person C." Thats logic right there. Youre wrong, your whole attack scheme has been exposed yet again, so just man up and admit that you eagerly let yourself get fooled just so you could attack Obama... again.

Fact checking is a corner store of the news business. You check, and re-check, and check your facts again before you ever put something out there as news. Its called responsibility. Or you can go the easy way out... you can get a radio show, call yourself El Rushbo, and not have to worry about those trivial and annoying fact thingamabobs.

Rush Limbaugh... it sucks to be you.

-- DBW --

Tracking UPS

Hola --

So, as I mentioned previously, my PS3 is... sick. Swine flu or something, I dont know. Not only did it cost me a bundle to get fixed - $160 - its also taking a bit longer than expected.

My PS3 "got sick" on August 25th while I was playing the new Batman game. I thought it would get well all by itself, so I let it sit a couple days, a week actually, and when I finally accepted that it needed professional help, I contacted Sony on September 2nd.

And so, with that in mind, heres a recap on the whole process, with updates when needed.

September 2 - Sony contacts UPS and tells them to pick up the packing box and deliver it to me.

September 2 - Im contacted by Sony and UPS and told to expect the box on September 4th.

September 3 - UPS finally picks up the box from Sony in Laredo, Texas... 22 hours later.

September 3 - UPS informs me that the new delivery date is September 8th.

September 3 - At 9:15pm my box departs from Laredo, Texas

September 4 - At 7:00am my box arrives in Dallas, Texas - a 6 hour trip that somehow takes 10 hours.

September 5 - After sitting in Dallas for 34 hours, my box finally departs at 4:54pm.

September 7 - At 12:44pm, my box arrives in Ontario, California.

September 8 - At 12:10am my box departs Ontario for Chula Vista

September 8 - At 4:30am my box arrives in Chula Vista

September 8 - At 6:43am my box is loaded into a big brown truck and sent out for delivery

September 8 - After arriving home from lunch I see a nice shiny (dull cardboard) box on my doorstep which had been delivered at 3:31pm

I followed the instructions and packed up my PS3 for its return trip to Laredo, Texas

September 9 - At 1:30pm I dropped my PS3 off at the UPS place

September 9 - At 4:25 UPS picked up my PS3

September 9 - At 9:35pm my PS3 left Chula Vista

September 10 - 12:03am and my PS3 arrives back in Ontario

September 10 - At 3:36am my PS3 departs Ontario for Dallas

September 12 - 7:20am and my PS3 arrives in Dallas

September 13 - 3:33am and my PS3 departs from Dallas

September 13 - 4:01am and my PS3 arrives in San Antonio, interesting since it didnt stop here on the way to me

September 14 - Its 3:07am and my PS3 departs from San Antonio

September 14 - 6:00am and my PS3 has arrived in Laredo

September 14 - 6:30am and my PS3 is out for delivery

September 14 - 7:39am and my PS3 finally arrives at Sony to be fixed

After, what apparently was a successful operation, my PS3 was bundled up, given a cup of cocoa, and sent on its way back to me.

September 14 - 10:05pm and my PS3 is picked up by UPS in Laredo

September 15 - At 4:43am my PS3 arrives in Houston

September 15 - At 7:05am my PS3 departs Houston for... Houston?

September 15 - At 7:36am my PS3 arrives in Houston... again?

September 15 - Its 8:00am and my PS3 leaves Houston for a second time

September 15 - At 11:15am my PS3 arrives in Louisville, Kentucky

September 15 - At 4:09pm my PS3 departs Louisville

So it was looking like my PS3 was going to show up "around" next Tuesday, but it now should be here this Thursday. Im excited. A little lighter in the wallet, but excited.

More updates when available.

-- DBW --

It sucks to be: Joe Wilson

I decided to add a new semi-regular feature here. Thats the intention anyway. If youve ever seen Keith Olbermanns "Worst Person In The World" then its kinda like that, but I swear I didnt steal the concept.

It kinda developed out of talking online with friends about the Tila Tequila situation and so I thought Id just add it to my blog. So even though I didnt intend for it to be so, I now unofficially rename my previous post to "It sucks to be: Tila Tequila" and I congratulate her on being the first inductee into this very prestigious club. Her award is in the mail.

So, without further ado, I give you the second inductee... Joe Wilson.

This country, our country, has rules. Some of them have been written down, just in case anyone would forget, and then there are some that are supposed to be common knowledge and theres no reason to have on paper. No reason, unless youre Joe Wilson.

During President Obamas recent address to Congress on health care reform, he had said "There are also those who claim that our reform efforts would insure illegal immigrants. This, too, is false. The reforms I'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally," And it was at this point that Rep. Joe Wilson, R-South Carolina, stood up and shouted "You lie!"

According to 2009 Pulitzer Prize winning website Politifact.com, Joe Wilson was just plain wrong with his statement. Read the full article here: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2009/sep/09/joe-wilson/joe-wilson-south-carolina-said-obama-lied-he-didnt/

We live in an amazing country, we have the most freedom in the entire world, and one of those freedoms is the right, sometimes obligation, to challenge those in power and call them out on things theyre doing wrong, even if that person is the President.

But, there is a time and a place for those criticisms, and so we must defer to those pesky rules. There are actually rules, and punishments, for those that shout out while their peers are speaking, but there isnt a rule for when someone shouts out while the President is speaking because you just dont do it.

It is an unwritten rule, perhaps even close to law, that the President, regardless of who it is, regardless of which party hes from, regardless of how much you disagree with him, regardless of how much you hate him, the office of the President of the United States - not necessarily the person - deserves your complete and total respect while hes at a function acting as the President. No exception.

And so when Rep Wilson unfortunately let his emotions get the best of him, he would soon hear about how wrong he was. Not from just people like me, or talk shows, or wed sites, or the ruling Democratic party, but from his fellow Republicans as well.

He messed up, and everyone took turns slapping him silly for it and to his credit he made a formal apology for it, which President Obama accepted saying "We all make mistakes."

Ah, but it doesnt end there.

Remember, the reason Rep Joe Wilson stood up and shouted "You lie!" at President Obama was because hes opposed to health care for illegal immigrants and thought Obama was covering up the fact that under the new health care plan those illegals would get free health care.

Apparently, like most politicians, Joe Wilson has a very bad memory, especially when it comes to his own actions. See, in 2003 Rep Joe Wilson actually voted FOR federal funds to be given to health care for illegal immigrants.

Personally, I agree with those funds being given to illegal immigrant health care, and theres currently a bipartisan bill in Congress to make it permanent, but unfortunately for Rep Wilson, he seemed to forget that he was in favor of the very thing he stood up and erroneously accused the President of lying about.

Umm... oops.

So, for my second induction, Rep Joe Wilson, R-South Carolina... it sucks to be you.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Cant spell "A lying nutjob" without "T-I-L-A"

Sup --

Ive seen, heard, been around, my share of "domestic disputes" and Ive always felt very bad for everyone involved. The victim, obviously, and also the aggressor because somewhere inside them they think that their actions are ok. And then there are those who get caught up in the "dispute" and end up feeling just as much pain as those directly involved. Basically, nobody wins.

I also have a problem with people claiming that theyve been a victim of something when in fact they have not. Racism, sexism, violence, etc. To me, it takes away from the pain and suffering of all the other people that have legitimately been victimized. So naturally Im a bit disturbed by the whole Shawne Merriman and Tila Tequila situation.

When the story first broke I shook my head and jumped to the conclusion that Shawne had totally screwed up and he was gonna end up paying for it. And yes, I admit, as a fan of the Chargers I selfishly thought that he had hurt the team, my team, and he was an idiot for doing so.

But then details started coming out and at first I started to doubt the sincerity of Tilas claims and eventually I came to the conclusion that she was flat out lying. I wasnt there, I have no proof either way, but throughout the whole thing, Shawnes story stayed exactly the same and her story kept getting holes shot in it.

In the end, the DA looked at the evidence and decided that there was nothing there to charge Shawne with. To which Tila Tweeted "Shawne Merriman, the NFL & the San Diego D.A.'s want 2 toss me under the bus with conspiracy & corrupt judicial system. I will keep fighting." She also Tweeted "At my meeting with the D.A.(which they said never happened) they asked me to bring them all the evidence..." First, for clarification, she told the world she had a meeting with the DA on Friday, which the DA said was not correct because, well, it wasnt correct. Knowing she was mistaken, instead of correcting her Tweet, she just removed it completely. I mean, when youre caught making a statement thats not factual, its best to erase all evidence of it, right? And in the process of erasing your error, lets again take a shot at the "corrupt" DA again. Nice.

Speaking of Twitter, I went to her page this morning for the very first time and... I think shes keeping the place in business. She seems to Tweet more than every other user combined. Shes like one of those Spam-bots that just spews forth stuff at a rate thats staggering.

While I was there I became concerned for her sanity and at the same time laughing my ass off at here craziness. Lets just take a look at some related Tweets...

"As I said, the ENTIRE incident, every detail, will surface very soon. U will be appalled once u learn all criminal activities he engages in."

First of all, she has like 900,000 Tweets, so youd think, at some point, shed actually enlighten us with all of these supposed criminal activities that are taking place. Im not saying hes a saint, Im just saying, if you cant keep your virtual mouth shut, then say something of importance that people might actually be interested in, and dont just flap your gums about things that, concerning your reliability, probably dont exist.

"There is a STRONG reason why I was trying to get away frantically that night & they tried 2 stop me. They DID NOT WANT THE TRUTH 2 GET OUT!"

Again, if theres such a "STRONG" reason that she "frantically" tried to escape, then tell us what it is or shut up! And if they really really didnt want "the truth" to get out, do you really think a girl that barely weighs 100 pounds would be able to escape from a NFL linebacker? Really? If so, then some team better sign her ass to a contract real quick.

"Do u know the feeling when u look into someone eye's while your throat is being cut off from it's air? Knowing in any second u could die????"

So Im at a loss here, either Tila is an incredible escape artist, as I previously said, or Shawne sucks at killing people, or perhaps... perhaps... "someone" is making stuff up at worst, overreacting at best. Just saying.

"Being a woman should be an EMPOWERING thing since WE BIRTH LIFE into this world! So I will NOT let a man take away my dignity!"

No, why let a man take away your dignity when you can do a very good job of it yourself. Girl power!

"I am taking this risk and voicing my thoughts because THE TRUTH NEEDS TO BE HEARD! I have nothing else to lose but release THE TRUTH!!!!!!"

I hate to say it but, again... where... is... the... truth?!

"So if I all of a sudden go "missing" or "Dead" in the next few days....please don't be surprised that it was a set up!"

Youre fricken kidding me!!! I dont even know what to say to this. The girl is absolutely out of her mind! If I were her Id get that "truth" out as soon as possible then.

Ok, then we came to a point in her Tweets where she said this about Shawne: "He is so pathetic! Trying 2 get his followers to get him on trending topics."

Got that? The funny, sad, thing is that PRIOR to this SHE had said: "Keep it going you guys! We are still in trending topics!" and "to Number 1!!!!!!" and "to number 1 trending topics!!" and "NOW IN 5TH SPOT TRENDING! NUMBER 1 HERE WE COME!" and "We are now in 4th place and moving up to #1 spot!"

What a damn hypocrite! I dont care if either of them are number 1 in whatever, but dont knock someone for doing the very same thing youre doing!!! Sad thing is that, according to her other Tweets, she doesnt see an issue with it. Poor girl.

She also made a Tweet that very obviously appears to quote TMZ: "The D.A. Made a Reckless Decision"-Via TMZ" and she gave the link to the posting. I went to the link and ya know what, that quote isnt from anyone at TMZ, its from a statement her and her legal team made that TMZ just happened to post online. Again, why post "the truth" when you cant just make smeared statements and have the masses believe what you want them to.

"And every single person who is supporting him is probably guilty of being a WOMAN BEATER AND ABUSER AS WELL! For shame!"

Hi, my name is Sam, and apparently I abuse women. Whatever.

"Where else in the law does it say "BITCH WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS.....SO CHOKE HER AND BEAT HER!"

Ohhhhhhhh, so what shes NOW saying is that she was trying to leave Shawnes place cuz he was trying to turn her into a sex toy to pass around at his party. Thats one heck of a statement, especially coming from a person that has a dedicated phone line for people to call her and beg for dates. Im in NO WAY saying forcing someone to do ANYTHING is acceptable, Im just saying that she apparently thinks its ok to be easy as long as shes getting paid for it.

"Soooo....only someone who is that desperate would go to the mainstream media and say all those things. Because he is guilty. I rest my case."

Only the truely innocent know where to go... Twitter.

"But me? I did not do that. Every single mainstream media outlet has bombarded me for interviews and I said "NO" I dont need 2 do that."

If you want her side of the story... or some version of "the truth" that might, at some point, in the very near distant future, get released but probably never will but stick around anyway... you need to follow her on Twitter and help her get to number 1 in trending topics! Woohoo!!!

We get to one final - "final" cuz I just couldnt subject myself to anymore of her Tweets - section where she starts by saying: "Him and his people already released like 5 official statements to cover his ass and I have released ZERO! Why do u think it is?"

She then followed that very statement up with, among numerous others: "Those who are guilty..talks the most because they know they are guilty."

Over the next 20 minutes, she posted 19 Tweets!!! If the guilty talk the most, then do those that know theyre lying post a Tweet a minute? Just curious?

Ive given this too much of my time already. If she was a victim then I really do hope Shawne would get whats coming to him, but Im just not buying it. All Im left with is the feeling that shes a sad sad person whos obviously looking for as much attention as she can possibly get.

Now if youll excuse me, I need to go buy a Merriman jersey and get ready for Mondays game.

-- DBW --

Update

Me again --

Quick update, some have asked where the rest of my Comic-Con recap is, and because of "other" circumstances that have nothing to do with me, ill most likely not be posting the rest. Sorry.

I actually would have finished the recap prior to these "other" circumstances happening except for one thing... my computer died. Luckily for me, I have connections with some very cool people and my computer is in good hands being checked out and Im currently writing this on a tablet laptop that they let me borrow. Basically, a loaner computer while mine is in the shop.

Now, if that wasnt bad enough, last week my PS3 died as well. This was probably due to the heat weve been having, but unfortunately I dont have connections to get it fixed, so its getting shipped off to Sony and is gonna cost me $150. Nice huh?

Anywho, thats been my life for the past month-ish.

Oh! It may have taken three years, but I FINALLY got a new mattress. Unlike the one I replaced, this one is bigger and actually fits my bed frame. I know, youre jealous. :)

Aight, Im outta here.

-- DBW --