To cheat, or not to cheat

I had a conversation with myself today and I figured why not share it with yall --

Lets suppose that on the eve of the first day of school the principal found that one of the students... lets call him Billy... had cheated and got all the answers to every test the school was going to have for the year. And lets suppose that the principal felt he had no choice but to punish Billy to such a degree that the school had never seen anything like it in its history.
Lets jump ahead to the last week of school, theres one test left to go, and looking back all at the previous ones, we see that Billy had not missed a single question and has gotten 100% on each and every test.
Would that surprise you that he had aced every test considering that he had already been caught cheating right before the school year started? And would it bug you that hes now being called the smartest kid in school, and will probably get an award for it?

If I had to stop and think about things, I think I might find that Im more upset for the praise being heaped upon little Billy Belichik than I am for the praise heaped upon his Patriots.

"The players still have to go out and play the game."

Its because of that that I dont necessarily hate the Patriots as much as I feel sorry for them. Granted, the players still have to go out and execute, but their coach already knows the answers to the questions, so even if the Patriots were awesome in their own right, theyre being placed in positions, in plays, that the coach knows will work - theyre benefiting from their coaches cheating, and thus, unfortunately, are cheaters themselves.

"But youre missing the point, even if they cheated, that didnt mean they knew everything that was going to happen in the game."

Very true, but there were a handful of games this year that the Patriots barely came out ahead in. The Giants, Colts, Ravens, Chargers, and Jets all had the Patriots within defeat, only to fall short themselves. And yes, I said the Jets. The Jets of New York lost to the awesome Patriots of New England by a mere 10 points. Those 10 points seem like nothing compared to how much the Patriots were beating other teams by.
So, even if all the answers werent known ahead of time, all it takes is one - one answer, one play - to push ahead. And what if, because of cheating, that one answer was the one to help them pull out a victory in a game they should have lost? And theres no way of knowing for sure one way or the other. So just because they didnt know all the answers, is that A+ still hard earned? Of course not.

So while the Patriots, by default, are cheaters, and Billy Belichick is unquestionably one, why does everyone continue to bow down to them when they walk by? Super Bowl victory or not, their "accomplishments" this year deserve as big an asterisk as anything Barry Bonds has done. Kinda sucks for them considering that this could have been the best year in NFL history, instead, it just proves again that cheaters do win.

-- DBW --

Whats Xenu with Will Smith?

Yo --

So, it appears that Mr William Smith is now in cahoots with the vanilla midget Tom Cruise. Obscure wrestling reference thrown in for the heck of it.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/01/09/2008-01-09_will_smith_boosting_scientology.html

Ok, so he says hes not a Scientologist, but just that hes a student of the world and Scientology is 98% of the same teachings as the Bible, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Now, if youre like me, youd say thats 98% of a bunch of not that much anyway, but I digress.
He also gave his cast mates a card for a personality test at their favorite Scientology Center. A test, which is free anyway. Why not just give a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card from Monopoly? Each is worth exactly the same.

Anyway, I went to IMDB.com and took some of Will Smiths projects and replaced a word in the title with the word "Xenu" and hilarity ensued. Laugh along with me, wont you...

Seven Xenus
I Am Xenu
The Pursuit Of Xenu
Xenu Tale
I, Xenu
All Of Xenu
Bad Xenu and Bad Xenu 2
Xenu In Black or the porn version Men In Xenu
Xenu
Xenu Day
The Xenu Of Bel Air
Six Degrees Of Xenu
Xenu In America
Where The Xenu Takes You
The Perfect Xenu
Xenu & Cookies
Xenu Hunter
The Secret Life Of Xenu
The Xenu Contract
Saving Xenu
Xenu Or Die

And who can forget his start as part of the rap duo DJ Jazzy Xenu and The Fresh Prince?

Ah Willy, what the Hell man, what the Hell?

-- DBW --

2007 - Year In Review

Happy New Year --

Well, 2007 has come and gone, and nows as good a time as any to look back and see what I did... or didnt do.
Unlike last time, I did not keep track of all the food I ate. It was too much work, and it was kinda scary looking back and seeing all the crap I consumed. So, done with that. But this is what I did keep track of:

Books. I read 6 of em. Thats one every two months, and 5 more than I read in 2006.

Movies. I watched 109 of them in 2007, three dozen more than the year before. Thats a very rough, 1 every 3 days, and I probably watched so many considering that I didnt really go anywhere. Which brings us to...

Places. In 2006 I went to 55 places. Not really alot, but on average, once every 6 days. In 2007 I went to 42 places, or one every 8 days.
If we only look at the places I went with Blanca - minus vacation - then in 2006 I went to 47 places, or one every 7 days. In 2007 I went to 28 places, or once every two weeks.

So there we go. 2007 in review. Hopefully 2008 will be filled with more fun than last year. Well, it cant get worse... right?

-- DBW --

Procrastination

There are four days until..... nevermind, Ill finish this some other time.....

Stupid

Happy two weeks before Christmas to yall --

So, Im watching tv and theres a commercial for Lowes, I think, and theres a guy who walks up to a female employee and asks her to pretend to be his wife while he went shopping for her. Perhaps youve seen this?
Anywho, they walk around the store and he picks up item after item in a "Hey honey, look what I got you!!!" sort of way and no matter what he picks up the employee looks at him with a disgusted look like "You cant be serious?!"
In the background you can see a good portion of the store, and I cant see a single thing in there that I would buy for my girlfriend. Nothing. No tools, no hardware, no nothing. Id get slapped upside the head if I wrapped anything up from there and tried to pass it off as a gift for her.
But thats not the worst part. Again, despite it not being a "girl" store, and despite the female employee being totally embarrassed and disgusted that this guy would even come to this store for a gift for his wife, the two of them finally settle on the perfect gift... a gift card.

Did you get that? The female employee basically told the guy "Youre an idiot for shopping here for your wife, she wont like anything you pick out from here, and youd be lucky to "get some" ever again if you do... so just go ahead and buy her a gift card. From here. So she can come in and not see anything she wants to buy."

It would be like me getting my best, straight, guy friend a gift card to Victorias Secret. Why? Hed never use it and Id look like an idiot. So how exactly do these commercials get green lit? How can the concept get past a room full of people whos job it is to discard nonsensical crap like this?

I digress. I shall scratch my head no more for this being on the air since nobody scratched theirs before it got there.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Happy Thanksgiving yall

WOW!

So it says its been two months since I last posted anything. I knew it had been awhile, just not that long. Sorry.

I have three different things to talk about, which could easily take up three different posts, but Ill condense them and just make one multi-purpose post. Everyone cool with that? Good.


1) Im bored. Plain. Simple. Bored. I went home early on Monday because I was sick, called in Tuesday and Wednesday for the same reason, Im off today because its a holiday, I work tomorrow - NOT looking forward to it - and then Im off on Saturday and Sunday. So in a 7 day period Ill have worked 1 and a half days. Im barely on day 4, and Im bored. I was bored on day 2, but I was too busy being sick to care. So anyone reading this, I invite you over for a night of board games and scary movies. Make sure to bring your jammies with the feet and the back door... Ill be wearing mine, they have trains on them.


2) Have you heard the amazingly awesome news? Barry Bonds is going to prison! Woohoo! Yeah!
Ok, so not quite yet, theres a few legal procedures he has to go through, but one does not usually get a federal indictment against them and walk away. If the feds, the United States government, thinks your guilty, then they have a pretty damn good reason and youre pretty much screwed.
So why is he going to prison? This might come as a shock, so you might want to sit down... ok, hes going to prison for steroids and his lying about them. I know, I know, I couldnt believe it either! Barry Bonds and steroids? Who woulda thunk it?
Besides him going to prison and getting analized by many many... bat boys... the other good thing about this is that maybe baseball will now strip him of his stolen record and give it back to Hank Aaron, gift wrapped with an apology... and this should prevent him from ever getting anywhere near the Hall Of Fame. Perhaps there is justice afterall.


3) It seems as though once a week Im introduced to yet another new piece of merchandise of amazing coolness. Heres the latest three.....
- Crayola Multicultural Crayons - http://www.fatbraintoys.com/images/products/med2/BS038.jpg
How neato! Theres a crayon for every cultural in the world. But they could have come up with better names other than "peach" or whatever. Why not "Mexican brown" or "white trash"? Damn the world for being overly pc.

- Sam The Cooking Guy Flip Grill - http://www.thecookingguy.com/grill
Is it a griddle? Yes. Is it a grill? Yes. Is it amazing? Absolutely! And it comes with a cook book and its all from the most awesomest cooking guy in the whole world... who just happens to live here in San Diego. Seriously. Hell go into the cabinet or fridge, take out whatever is there, and make something Emeril will drool over. And the other cool part is that its available only at my work, not yours.

- Freschetta pre-sliced pizza - http://www.freschetta.com/promotions/PizzAmore.php
Its pizza... presliced... on a baking sheet. This will definitely be taste tested in the very near future.


Aight yo, thats about it for me. Pumpkin pie is calling and I cant say no anymore. So have a Happy Thanksgiving and Ill try not to take two months between posts.

Ciao

R.I.P. Nelson Mandela

I, like Im sure the rest of you are, am saddened by the loss of Nelson Mandela. This news has come as a huge shock to his family, his friends, the world as a whole, and most of all, to Nelson Mandela himself... who thought he was very much alive.
Sadly, that is not the case. As reported first by your very own President Bush, he is, in fact, dead. He was murdered. Killed. By the recently hanged Saddam Hussein. Possibly with weapons of mass destruction. Who knows. But if Bush says its so, then it must be, right? After all, he is "The Decider" and if he decides Mr. Mandela is dead, then not even Nelson himself can argue. Facts shall not get in the way of a good sound bite.

YOUR President is an idiot - http://youtube.com/watch?v=4NOYi_Rs1YM

-- DBW --