Oppression by minorities

  Normally Im rather quiet and laid back, but once in a while something crosses my path that seriously rubs me the wrong way. One of those things happened yesterday.

  Im sitting in the lounge at work, reading a book while on lunch, and was in a position to overhear a conversation between a friend of mine whom Ive known for many years and an acquaintance whos one of the nicest people at work.

  Purely for context only, I have to point out that my friend is Mexican and, at the very least, bi-sexual. My acquaintance is black. Both are minorities, and should know better. Or so I would think.

  Heres how it started.

  A couple days ago at the Miss America pageant, Miss California was asked her opinion on gay marriage - a touchy subject here in California - and she said that she was opposed to it.

  I support her opinion 100%. Shes freely speaking what she believes in, and she has every right to believe that, and nobody should tell her otherwise. But I dont agree with her views at all. And thats a very important point that far too many people seem to disregard all too easily - its ok to disagree, as long as you dont try to impose YOUR values and morals onto someone else. 

  So Im in the lounge and my friend (F) says to my acquaintance (A) "Did you hear about Miss America?"

  A: "Yeah, and its sad that people are trying to make her feel bad for saying that."

  F: "I dont think thats right either, we live in America and we have free speech, so she can say whatever she wants to."

  A: "Thats the way its supposed to be."

  F: "All she was saying was that she didnt think it was right for gay people to get married. Theres nothing wrong with that."

  A: "Right, and she didnt say it was because of her religion or anything, she said it was what she herself believed in."

  F: (Whispering) "You know, Im all for people being allowed to love whomever they want, but I dont think they should be allowed to get married."

  A: (Whispering) "I agree. Thats how I voted."

  F: (Whispering) "Thats how I voted too. We won, and I dont know why they cant just accept that and move on."

  Ok, there is SO much wrong with that conversation I dont know where to begin. Do I start with gay rights, or do I start with religion? Hmm...

  Lets see, first of all, my friend sleeps with girls. Or has slept with girls. Its not my business, I dont care. Regardless, she is one of the "they" she speaks of and I feel sorry for her if she ever falls for one of these girls shes sleeping with and decides she wants a more meaningful relationship. My friend also has two daughters, and while it would be a nice touch if one of them "decided" to be gay, I wouldnt want either of them to have to deal with a Mom who has those views.

  My acquaintance is old enough to have gone through a portion of her life having to deal with racism. Maybe not alot of her life, but enough to know what it feels like to have other people tell you you dont have the same rights that they do. So she has alot of nerve to try and do that to someone else.

  Human rights should NEVER be put to a vote. That idea itself is absurd. But because it was, and it passed, we here in California are now guilty of "legally" oppressing a section of our community. And for those not familiar, the definition of oppression is: "the exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner." Simply, it was cruel for the voters of California to exercise their authority and unjustly take away gay rights.

  Continuing: "Racism, sexism and other prejudices are often studied as individual beliefs which, although not necessarily oppressive in themselves, can lead to oppression if they are codified in law or become parts of a culture."

  Lets do a really quick, and simple exercise. Lets start with this sentence: "In California, it is a law that people who are gay are not allowed to get married." Got that? Now go back to that bold "gay" word. Lets change it to, oh, I dont know... black. Now read the sentence with the new word. Kinda screwed up, huh? In fact, if you changed "gay" to ANY OTHER ADJECTIVE like blonde, or elderly, or green eyed, or right handed, or people from Utah, or people with your name, or... ANYTHING... the outrage of such a law, or the mere attempt at a law would be incredible! Yet, gay is acceptable?! How did we come to this? How did "Its my right to take away the rights of someone else" become our motto?

  And think about this, the only group of people in the entire world that are not allowed to get married are those that are gay. If you murder people, you can still get married. If you rape kids, you can still get married. If youre a terrorist, you can still get married. Think about the worst of the worst of society, and it doesnt matter, they still have the right to get married, but if youre gay you cant. Thats ridiculous! And for those out there that think its ok for a child raping murdering terrorist to get married and gay people cant... take a gun and put a bullet in your head now. Go ahead, Ill wait. 

  And dammit, if youre so convinced that "you won" and youre right, dont fucking whisper it in a lounge when you think nobody can hear you - speak up, be proud, and tell everyone else to kiss your ass. Or, you know, continue to huddle in secrecy and whisper to your minority friend cuz youre embarrassed by your beliefs. Whatever validates your view I guess.

  For the record, and contrary to my acquaintances statement, Miss California said “The way that I answered might have been offensive... but for me, it was being biblically correct.” So it WAS about her religion, which is fine.

  She also said “It did cost me my crown. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I said what I feel. I stated an opinion that was true to myself and that’s all I can do. It is a very touchy subject and I see where [Hilton] was coming from and I see the audience would’ve wanted me to be more politically correct. But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything.” And again, good for her, she had a very public stage and didnt hide from her view no matter how unpopular it was. No whispering for her. 

  Which brings me to the bible portion of our program.

  Though I dont go to church, I do not actively read the bible, nor am I religious in any way, I am also NOT anti-religion at all. Again, I think people should be allowed to live their life how they please and if following the bible is what they choose to do, then nobody should tell them otherwise.

  That said, and using a wide brush to paint the world generally, I have not known a single group of people to be more close minded, judgemental, hypocritical, and flat out mean spirited than those that call themselves religious.

  The bible is law, the bible is Gods word, the bible is, well, gospel. And it should apparently be swung around and used as a weapon... as long as the swinger can twist the words to suit their needs and be allowed to pick and choose which portions to follow and which to ignore.

  Nowhere in the bible does it say that being gay is a sin. Yet people continue to take verses out of context, misinterpret passages, or flat out make stuff up - such as the oft quoted Leviticus - all in an effort to keep the sanctity of their third marriage. If thats not true, dont tell me, SHOW it to me. Yeah, thats a challenge. Accept it or shut up.

  Truth be told, the bible is full of a bunch of screwy things. Some real head scratchers. So for fun, here are a couple things the bible does talk about, and where to find them.....

  DEUTERONOMY 22:13-21

  If it is discovered that a bride is not a virgin, the Bible demands that she be executed by stoning immediately.

  DEUTERONOMY 22:22
  If a married person has sex with someone else's husband or wife, the Bible commands that both adulterers be stoned to death.

  MARK 10:1-12

  Divorce is strictly forbidden in both Testaments, as is remarriage of anyone who has been divorced.

  MARK 12:18-27

  If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have intercourse with each of his brothers in turn until she bears her deceased husband a male heir.

  EXODUS 21:7-11

  It is acceptable for a man to sell his daughter as a sex slave.

  LEVITICUS 11:6-8

  Its a sin to touch the skin of a dead pig.

  So while the bible doesnt say Adam and Steve cant get married, it CLEARLY states that most of the people I know should be put to death by stoning, which would save me money on Christmas presents. It also clearly states that I can walk up to someone and ask how much I can have their daughter for, so I can... umm... you know. But Christ! I love football, so what am I gonna do about that dead pig thing?

  Thank God I have the option to do what all the other bible thumpers do: "Its a sin if it goes against my morals, but if it pertains to me, then the bible shouldnt be taken literally." Convenient, huh?

  Anywho, if you choose to read more about being gay in the bible, go here: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian

  I guess the point Im trying to make is that you have every right to disagree with gays who want to get married, but its your obligation as a human being to support them for wanting to do so.

  Ok, Im done ranting now.

  -- DBW --

No money, more problems

  Yo --

  So, like most of the rest of the world, Ive been having money problems. The severity of these problems probably depends on who Im standing next to - if Im next to Bill Gates, Im pretty much broke, but if Im standing next to someone that has a family to support and just lost their job, I probably look like Billy Boy. Its all relative I guess.

  For some reason, it actually hit me last night, for the very first time, WHY Im broke. Obviously its a lack of funds, but I never broke it down. I never considered the cause, the reasons, and the amounts.

  Some back story first.

  A couple years ago when I went to Vegas with Blanca for vacation I got us an amazing suite, overlooking The Strip, and it even had a jacuzzi in it. And it didnt come cheap either. While we were there I also paid for most of the things we did - from tickets, to food, to souvenirs. And I did this without a problem because I could afford it. Not "pocket change" afford it, but afford it to the point where it didnt hurt so much.

  The following year when we went on vacation to a different amusement park every day, I again paid for most of the stuff. Tickets, hotel rooms, swimming with the dolphins, the photo caravan, etc. And again, I did so without it hurting me too much.

  Whenever wed go out - to the movies, dinner, anywhere - Id pay for it. None of this was because she was cheap, but because I could. "Back then" life was good.

  Now we arrive to the recent past and today.

  Then I moved into a new house, and my portion of the bills went up $100. At the time, I didnt feel it too much cuz I still had a 40 hour a week job. But then the economy tanked and everyones hours started getting cut, mine included, and as a result my paycheck dropped about $250. Times that by two and Im short $500 a month. Add in the $100 rent increase and thats $600 a month that I no longer have.

  For someone like myself, thats a TON of money. As a result, my savings, which was never alot anyway, has been cut in half. And Im trying SO hard to hold onto the rest of it cuz once its gone Ill be completely broke.

  Not only that, but not having money has affected other things as well. Blanca and I broke up last year, for unrelated reasons, which is probably a blessing in a very painful disguise, because the truth is I no longer can afford to have a girlfriend. Even if she paid for 99% of everything, I dont have enough for the 1% anymore. A car, even a beat up, used, crappy, cheap one, is just a dream. Im sleeping in a canyon of a mattress that has long since passed its prime and is also too short for my bed frame. I need new contacts because my prescription has expired, but since theres no money, my eyes continually hurt and I swear my vision is getting worse. And the worst part is that Im eating Pop Tarts for lunch and only eating dinner every other day, today was not the day I got to eat.

  I have found a way to save money though. I sleep. Alot. Not only is sleeping free, but if youre not awake you cant hear your stomach rumble and you dont dwell on how much your life currently sucks. Bonus!

  But like I said, some people are in worse shape than I am and they view me as being well off. Some of those people I actually know and I have no clue how theyre surviving. So I shouldnt complain right? Every cloud has a silver lining or whatever. But I tell ya, if I ever find that cloud, Im selling the metal from it cuz Im pretty damn hungry right now.

  Anywho, its nap time... again.

  -- DBW --

Are you Yanking my chain?

  So this morning Im laying in bed, watching "Outside The Lines" and theres a story on the new stadiums in New York, the ones that combined cost something around $2.5 BILLION dollars to build. 

  And they started talking about the tickets prices at these new ballparks and how ridiculous they were. The highest ticket at the new Mets stadium is $695 for a seat behind home plate. $700 to watch a team that chokes every year. But thats a bargain considering that that very same seat at the new Yankee Stadium is an absurd $2625.

  I can find things alot better to spend my $3000 on than a ticket to see the Yankees. Things like making a dent in my debt. Or perhaps even a car, used of course. 

  Apparently so can other people, people far richer than I. They were talking to this guy that used to have four season tickets behind home plate at the old Yankee Stadium which cost him about $80,000 a year. To me, thats still stupid money, but I suppose if you got it, right? So when this guy was offered the chance to renew his season tickets for the new stadium, he actually had to debate if he should say no, or lay off some employees at his company. He then realized how ridiculous that was and bought more "affordable" $200 a seat tickets instead.

  So, how much were those new season tickets behind home plate going to cost him? $860,000. Same ticket, same team, yet the price went up 11 times! Hey, someone has to pay off the stadium, right? 

  Not surprisingly, the Yankees are having trouble selling their more expensive tickets, yet when asked, they said they were doing just fine - in spite of taking out full page ads in the paper advertising seats still available. In their defense, they claimed that there were plenty of great affordable seats for those that couldnt spend $3000 a game. Like the 1,100 bleacher seats that have an obstructed view where the action gets cut off around center field. A billion dollar plus stadium, and you have seats where the people youre scamming to get in the building cant even see? I wonder if thats one of those "Only in New York" things. But, hey, you do get an absolutely amazing view of the side of the sports bar, so complaining... fuggedaboutit. Oh yeah, the price of those tickets are a mere $15, more during playoffs of course. Just make sure to bring a portable tv cuz, well, ya know.

  On second thought, maybe thats why those home plate tickets cost so much, because you can actually see the game. But if Im gonna spend a million dollars on season tickets, I better get more than all you can eat veggie dogs, I wanna have all you can eat endangered species.

  But what do I know, Im a Padre fan.

  -- DBW --

Happy New Year!

  Ok, so its actually Easter, but this is my first post of the year, so whatever. Obviously, Ive been lagging in my posts, and Im not even going to attempt to convince you that Im going to try and stick to a schedule, but I will say I do have a bunch of ideas that Ive been thinking of blogging about, so I might have something up soon, and probably before the end of the year. If Im lucky.

  So, until next time..... Happy Easter.

  -- DBW --

:(

  Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas Mom... I love you and miss you :(

Bike update 2

Bike ride number 5 was on the 3rd of December.

The physical portion was the total opposite of every other ride Ive been on. Gone were the sore knees, the pounding chest, the cramps in my side, and every other ache and pain (except for the damn elbow), and in its place was The. Best. Ride. Ever.
I felt good, I rode good, everything was good. I was happy and excited, not just for how I felt, but also because today was proof that I wasnt as bad as my previous rides had suggested I was. I had even managed on a couple of occasions to catch up to, and keep pace with, "real" bike riders. Yeah, if it were a race theyd leave me in the dust, but for now, I was their equal. And that felt good. But what felt the best was that I was FINALLY able to keep up with Stephanie. I had always felt bad - for me, for her, and physically - that I was always pulling up the rear. But now, I was right beside her the whole way. And for once I "got" what this biking thing was supposed to be.
So what was the difference? Gears. Yep, just the gears. I had been riding with 2 on the left gear and 3 on the right - or on 6 - and this time I went all the way to 3 and 7 - or 21. I had feared doing so because I was a rookie and high gears are "just for good riders", but upon going higher my whole ride changed. Yeah, I had to work for it because it was harder, but it felt good, and I never felt pain.
And for the first time, we managed to ride each way in 45 minutes. And considering we did like 90 minutes the first time and then an hour the other times, 45 minutes was amazing. And once we were done, I was looking forward to the next time for the first time since we started riding.


Bike ride #6 was on the 6th of December.

For the first time CJ was able to join us. Same route. Same times. The only major difference this time was that we decided to eat at a different place. We had some BBQ and it was good, and like the Italian place, it was alot of food. Too much to eat in one sitting and especially too much to eat on a bike ride.
Oh, and on the way back I was riding behind a guy who was in a bike that was powered by just his arms. Not sure if he was paralyzed or just doing upper body work, but he was able to keep an 11mph pace... with his arms. Insane.

Number 7 is on Tuesday, and Ill update you soon after. So, until then...

-- DBW --

I like Bike

  It started out simple.

  Stephanie: "Do you have a bike?"

  Me: "Yeah."

  Stephanie: "We should go bike riding sometime."

  Me: "Sure, why not."

  I had been on my bike exactly one time since I got it two years ago, and that was just a couple trips around the block. Prior to that, the last time I was on a bike was when I was a kid. So I suppose its fair to say that my biking experience was limited, at best. But I figured why not, it would be good to get out and get some exercise, spend some time with a cool person, and maybe even lose a couple of pounds that Ive been collecting. What could go wrong?

  The route we were going to be riding was roughly 20 miles round trip and took us along The Strand, to the Hotel del, through some ridiculous houses in Coronado, around the golf course, under the Coronado Bridge, and then to the Ferry Landing... and then back again.

  Our first bike ride was one heck of an adventure. About 30 minutes into the ride, I was dead. My legs were on fire, my knees were killing me, my head was pounding, my chest hurt, my sides hurt, it was hard to breathe, and when I finally had to stop for a moment, I knew something was wrong. I stood up and had to hold onto the bike because the world started spinning, I wanted to throw up, and I honeslty thought I was going to pass out.

  I got off the bike and literally layed on the ground because it was the only way I could stay conscious. A lady rode by and even asked if we needed her to call 911. Yeah, it was that bad. Call it stupidity or just the desire to not want to quit, I finally managed to get up and continued on my way.

  After an hour and a half of riding we finally made it to the Ferry Landing and I got some much needed rest, some food, and something to drink... all courtesy of Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell. It was getting late, so back on the bike, and after another hour and a half ride through pitch black night during which I lost my water bottle, almost ran into a bush, and almost got run off the road twice, we finally arrived at the truck. 

  My first real bike ride was over, and I can not convey to you just how thankful I was for it. The whole ride was extremely painful, and in ways other than the normal lack of exercise would bring a body. And I wouldnt find out why until the next day.

  After I got home from work, I went out to check my bike and upon hand spinning the front tire I noticed that it wouldnt even complete one rotation. If I was at the Big Wheel on The Price Is Right, I would have got booed. Seriously though, when your tire cant go around one time, something is wrong. So upon taking the front disk brake apart I found out that the thing had been squeezing my tire the whole entire time. Add that to the slight rub my back brake was doing, and theres no wonder I couldnt get my bike to move very well and why my body hurt from head to toe for trying to do so.

  Ride two.

  With the front disk brake completely removed, we set out for our second adventure. I did better, it wasnt as labored a ride as the first, but something was still a bit off.

  Dont get me wrong, I make no excuses for not being able to ride as well as Stephanie, nor as well as Id like. My conditioning, stamina, and leg muscles arent as good as they could be, and thats my fault for lack of exercising. So even if I had a perfect bike, I still doubt that Id be able to keep pace with her. For now anyway. So no excuses. But, the thing is, I dont have a perfect bike, and its only with each ride am I able to find something that needs to be adjusted to suit me.

  Anywho. After a nice, pleasant, and thankfully uneventful ride, we get to the Ferry Landing in a quicker time than our first ride. Not that we could have gone any slower. At the Landing we found this cool pizza place and made the "smart" idea of getting a little snack before we headed back.

  She wanted friend zucchini, I wanted pizza fries, and I thought we could share some garlic knots. What could go wrong? We got small portions of each and they ended up giving us three huge bowls of food. It was ridiculous. She managed to finish the zucchini, I ate half the fries, and we ate about half the knots and we took the rest of them back with us. Ridiculous.

  We got back to the truck sooner than we did the first time, again, not that hard, and with that, our second bike ride was complete. I was sore, and tired, but honestly I felt good. I liked being out, I liked the company, and it great to finally be exercising.

  The next day I looked around the net to see if maybe I had the wrong size bike. I found a size chart, grabbed a tape measure, and went to my bike. Accoriding to the chart, my bike was acceptable for a person my size. But when I was measuring it I noticed something rather important... I had never raised the seat. It was in the default position which is completely lowered, and so for a guy my height, it was destroying my knees. And what sucks is that I found it out by accident and never would have thought to check it. Like I said, each ride I find something new to make my next ride better.

  Ride three.

  SO much better. It really was like riding two different bikes. Still not perfect, I need to raise my handle bars, but already alot more comfortable. We got to the Landing even faster than our second time, and made another stop at the pizza place for another snack. She got zucchini again and I got an antipasto salad which instantly became my new favorite salad.

  Back on the bike, a quickish ride back to the truck, during which I got hit by a golf ball, and our third outting was complete.

  Unfortunately, on the ride out my elbow popped and caused me a good deal of pain the rest of the ride. Its definitely nothing serious, just an uncomfortable annoyance that just needs to be stretched out once in a while. Other than that, I was sore, tired, and again feeling great.

  Ride four.

  This ride almost didnt happen cuz at work earlier in the day I bent down to do something and my knee completely gave out. Im sure there were contributing factors, but Ill just file it under "one of those things" and leave it at that. But it hurt... ALOT... and it forced me to walk with a very noticable limp. I tried stretching it out all day, and just couldnt, so even though I probably shouldnt have gone riding, I thought the exercise might do it some good.

  I wasnt able to raise my bars, so I went out with the same bike set up. One of these days though Ill get my bike where I want it, or need it, and then well see what Im able to do.

  The ride out was mostly pain free. It was actually my elbow that bothered me more than my knee, but it was tolerable. We werent able to eat at the Landing cuz it was already late so we just turned around and rode back.

  The ride back was painful, and I pushed my knee as hard as I could, but there was just no way I could even stay close to Stephanie. Once I accepted that, I set two goals for myself... be back to the truck by 5:10 - which would be our best time - and try and stay at 10mph. Somehow I managed to do both and although from the outside I still sucked, I was thrilled cuz I didnt let the pain get the better of me. I hurt, I was slow, but I never stopped. Small victories.

  Ride five is supposed to be on Wednesday. Hopefully by then Ill have my bars fixed and my knee and elbow will be rested and pain free. Im looking forward to it, I have more to accomplish, I have goals to reach, and I have more antipasto salad to eat.

  Until next time.....

  -- DBW --