Yo --
So, like most of the rest of the world, Ive been having money problems. The severity of these problems probably depends on who Im standing next to - if Im next to Bill Gates, Im pretty much broke, but if Im standing next to someone that has a family to support and just lost their job, I probably look like Billy Boy. Its all relative I guess.
For some reason, it actually hit me last night, for the very first time, WHY Im broke. Obviously its a lack of funds, but I never broke it down. I never considered the cause, the reasons, and the amounts.
Some back story first.
A couple years ago when I went to Vegas with Blanca for vacation I got us an amazing suite, overlooking The Strip, and it even had a jacuzzi in it. And it didnt come cheap either. While we were there I also paid for most of the things we did - from tickets, to food, to souvenirs. And I did this without a problem because I could afford it. Not "pocket change" afford it, but afford it to the point where it didnt hurt so much.
The following year when we went on vacation to a different amusement park every day, I again paid for most of the stuff. Tickets, hotel rooms, swimming with the dolphins, the photo caravan, etc. And again, I did so without it hurting me too much.
Whenever wed go out - to the movies, dinner, anywhere - Id pay for it. None of this was because she was cheap, but because I could. "Back then" life was good.
Now we arrive to the recent past and today.
Then I moved into a new house, and my portion of the bills went up $100. At the time, I didnt feel it too much cuz I still had a 40 hour a week job. But then the economy tanked and everyones hours started getting cut, mine included, and as a result my paycheck dropped about $250. Times that by two and Im short $500 a month. Add in the $100 rent increase and thats $600 a month that I no longer have.
For someone like myself, thats a TON of money. As a result, my savings, which was never alot anyway, has been cut in half. And Im trying SO hard to hold onto the rest of it cuz once its gone Ill be completely broke.
Not only that, but not having money has affected other things as well. Blanca and I broke up last year, for unrelated reasons, which is probably a blessing in a very painful disguise, because the truth is I no longer can afford to have a girlfriend. Even if she paid for 99% of everything, I dont have enough for the 1% anymore. A car, even a beat up, used, crappy, cheap one, is just a dream. Im sleeping in a canyon of a mattress that has long since passed its prime and is also too short for my bed frame. I need new contacts because my prescription has expired, but since theres no money, my eyes continually hurt and I swear my vision is getting worse. And the worst part is that Im eating Pop Tarts for lunch and only eating dinner every other day, today was not the day I got to eat.
I have found a way to save money though. I sleep. Alot. Not only is sleeping free, but if youre not awake you cant hear your stomach rumble and you dont dwell on how much your life currently sucks. Bonus!
But like I said, some people are in worse shape than I am and they view me as being well off. Some of those people I actually know and I have no clue how theyre surviving. So I shouldnt complain right? Every cloud has a silver lining or whatever. But I tell ya, if I ever find that cloud, Im selling the metal from it cuz Im pretty damn hungry right now.
Anywho, its nap time... again.
-- DBW --
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