Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Me again --

First, let me say that I love Disney, I really do. Honest. I grew a Disney kid and I know far too much about the company, its movies, its parks, and the man himself for my own good. However, Im not so much into them that I cant call BS when I see it. Specifically, what appears to be Disneys inability to come up with original plots for their movies.
Im going to describe two movies I watched recently, and its going to be your job to tell me which movie is which. Simple, huh? Ok, lets see.....

1) Hot shot attempts to make his way to Hollywood where he hopes to become a bigger shot in his field, on the way he misses his exit and ends up in a small town where hes forced to stay an extended period of time before he can leave again and fears missing out on his big break. While hes there he meets and falls for a country gal and she shows him how life could be if he stayed there instead of going to Hollywood. Ultimately he ends up going anyway, finds out its not all its cracked up to be, and returns to the small town to be with the girl and live happily ever after.

2) A group of animals - including a lion, a giraffe, a hippo, and penguins - live at a New York zoo where one of them wishes to leave the caged confines and travel to far away places to see how real animals live. He escapes by getting into a container and placed on a boat. The rest of the animals follow after him. They all arrive on an island populated by a group of animals that sing and dance in choreographed routines to a catchy tune. The group disagrees amongst themselves, and eventually the lion is forced to make a stand against the bad animals, thus saving his friends and making everything right.

Figure em out? If you guessed "Cars" and "The Wild" then youre right. And youre also wrong. The first movie I described is also "Doc Hollywood" and the second movie is also "Madagascar." What? How? Huh?
See, thats my issue - Disney took the plot from two movies, changed very little, and made two brand new movies out of it. Theres no way you can watch "Cars" and not think youre watching an animated "Doc Hollywood." And theres no way you can watch "The Wild" and not think youre watching a ripoff of "Madagascar." Theres no originality.

Theres also the little known fact that such beloved Disney characters like Winnie The Pooh and his pals, Pinocchio, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast... and on and on... werent even created by Disney. They just took the characters, changed a thing here and there, and viola... instant Disney classic.

And dont even get me started on "Kimba" and "The Lion King." Actually, just go HERE and read it for yourself.

Ive written too much tonight. Im hungry. So I bid you adieu.

-- DBW --


Yall --

Sunday night, Im sick and should be sleeping, but cuz my stomach was killing me I couldnt get to sleep. Lucky(?) for me, "24" was starting their new season with a two-part two hour thing. I had never seen a single episode, so I figured Id give it a shot. If it didnt interest me, hopefully it would at least help put me to sleep.
Im sure most of you have watched "24" at least once, but in case you dont even know the concept heres a very very brief explanation. Main character works for the government, and each season consists of 24 one hour episodes that take place in real time - so each season is one day.
In theory, this is pretty cool and a unique television concept, but after watching the two part season opener, Ive come to the conclusion that this is the most ridiculously implausible thing in the history of television. Ever. And this coming from a guy who watches wrestling. So, heres a summary of the show, with the times as theyre shown on screen.

Episode 1 takes place between 6am and 7am.

The good guy arrives on a plane after being released from a Chinese prison camp. Hes then taken to a hanger and debriefed by two government people (a process thats not normally quick). He then showers, shaves, cuts his hair, changes clothes, and does the rest of the cleaning up stuff.

13 minutes have passed!

As the 30 minute mark hits, the good guy is handcuffed to a grate in preparation to be handed over to the bad guy - whos pretending to be a good guy - as a trade for the bad guy giving up the whereabouts of whom the government believes to be the bad guy. Got that?

At the 45 minute mark, the bad guy takes the good guy and brings him back to his hideout.

At the 52 minute mark, the bad guy confesses the truth - that hes the real bad guy - to the good guy. The bad guy then begins torturing the good guy. The White House sends two helicopters to blow up who they think is the bad guy.

By the 59 minute mark, the good guy has killed a man, escaped torture, and hid in a sewer. The bad guys had noticed he was gone and gave chase... into an air duct.

Episode 2 takes place between 7am and 8am.

At the 00 mark, the bad guys are well into the sewer in search of the good guy - thus proving the age old adage that the quickest way to the sewer is through an air duct.

By 08, the good guy has escaped the bad buys... again, crawled to the sewer exit, found a car, broke into it, found a cell phone, called some security agency and had a conversation, got transferred to the President, had a debate, talked to the security agency again, had another conversation, used the cell phones gps to locate the presumed bad guy, hotwired the car, waited for the automatic gate to open, and drove away.

8 minutes passed!

By the 15 minute mark, the good guy had driven to the presumed bad guys house, ambushed a guard, took his gun, ambushed another guard, burst into the house, had a debate at gunpoint with several men, escaped with the presumed bad guy just in time cuz those helicopters finally got there and blew the house up.

7 minutes had passed!

At the 31 minute mark, the good guy and presumed bad guy make it to another house with one of the bad guys for "questioning" - it lasts 6 minutes

At the 50 minute mark, the good guy and presumed bad guy are tracking a suicide bomber and his handler through the streets and down into the subway. The good guy boards the subway with the bomber while the presumed bad guy heads back up top to chase the handler through the streets in a car. The good guy makes his way through the subway car, stops to talk to the ticket man, and continues to head toward the bomber. The bomber gets suspicious and flips the switch to blow himself and the train up, lucky for the passengers the good guy was able to kick the bomber through locked doors and out of the subway car just before he exploded. The good guy presses the emergency stop button on the subway and then exits through the now existent hole in the rear of the train. The good guy manages to find an exit in the tunnel, climbs to the surface, calls the presumed bad guy, has a conversation, and makes plans to meet up somewhere.

9 minutes have passed!!!

Show ends.

Were you paying attention to the times? From the time the good guy is retrieved by the bad guy until the time he escapes the subway tunnel, hes been tortured, escaped twice, killed a guy, disabled two others, dodged a missile strike by two military helicopters, questioned a suspect, tracked two terrorists through city streets, attacked a suicide bomber, and saved a subway and its passengers from explosion. All of this took 68 minutes. 68 minutes! How many of you can get ready for work in 68 minutes?
Seriously, this is the most idiotic show Ive ever watched. If they got rid of the time line, then I can actually watch it and enjoy it cuz it was pretty action packed and exciting. But man, once you start telling me that it took me longer to write about what happened than for it to actually happen... yeah, you lost me. Sorry.

Aight yo, thats my beef with tv. Next, we go to the movies. So until then...

-- DBW --

Saturday, January 13, 2007


Three years today. Three crazy years. And 99 insane years left to go.

A VERY happy day to us Sunshine. Love you. :)

Sick and tired

You look like crap.

Are you tired? You look tired.

Are you ok? You dont look so good.

Those are just some of the comments I received this past week at work. And I probably deserved every one of them.
I cant really explain why though. I have my theories... well, a main theory anyway. For the first month or so after Christmas, my workload increases to unheard of proportions. Target, as a company, tries to recover from Christmas as quickly as they can, and while all the different sections of the store each have multiple and numerous people to get through this, I have one. Me.
I have nobody to fall back on. I have no help given to me. I have no help even offered to me. In fact, two weeks before Christmas I emailed every single management person in the store and told them that as soon as Christmas was over I would need ALOT of help. Not one of them even responded to my email.
So, my theory is that the workload and the stress has taken a physical and mental toll on me. A toll that is apparently visible to others.
Yesterday was probably the worst. No, yesterday WAS the worst. I dont really have any way to accurately describe what I was feeling cuz I never felt anything like this before. If I had to guess, Id say that it felt like I was on something. My body moved on its own, my thoughts werent sharp, I felt like I wanted to throw up, I felt like I wanted to pass out, and I felt like my heart was going to explode cuz it wouldnt stop beating so fast. To be honest, it was kind of scary.

This morning, I woke up at 11. For me, thats insane. I suppose its also my bodys way of telling me I needed to slow down for a minute. Ill listen. Until Monday.

-- DBW --

Expunge him!!!

Greetings yall --

Well, if you know me personally, or if youve been reading any of my 37 blogs, and if youve been watching the sports news recently, you knew this was coming.

I HATE Barry Bonds.

In case you havent heard, Mr "I aint ever failed a drug test" failed a drug test. I know, youre shocked, huh? Me too. It apparently happened last year and were just hearing about it now because the results were supposed to be keep under wraps due to some agreement between MLB and MLBPA. Secrets dont stay secrets forever.
Even after he failed the test, he still bragged how he was always clean and nobody had anything on him. Balls. Thats what that takes. Big hairy balls.
But its all ok cuz in reality, he didnt really take drugs, it was an accident or something. Though he has since taken back this statement, he originally claimed that he took whatever he took from the locker of teammate Mark Sweeney. So it was Marks drugs not his. And he just wanted to make it clear the drugs belonged to MARK SWEENEY and not barry bonds. In effect, what hes also saying is that hes a theif who goes around popping any and all pill looking substances no matter what they are or where he finds them, even if he has to steal them from other peoples lockers. Gotcha.

"I never knowingly took drugs just like I never knowingly took steroids. Im clean man, clean I say. Anybody got some Cheetos?"

So now hes been caught lying about taking drugs. He "never took them" yet he did. So, should we believe him when he says "Ive never taken steroids" too? We should give him the benefit of the doubt considering that hes built up so much goodwill over the years, huh? Ok, Barry, we believe ya. We know, you were just looking for more "flax seed oil", right? Right.

Oh, speaking of "over the years" heres some random Barryisms just for fun.

- When the Giants signed Bonds to what was then the richest contract in baseball history, they also hired his father as hitting coach. Barry told friends, "He wouldn't have his job if it wasn't for me."

- As the elder Bonds battled cancer, Barry complained to friends about his dad "sitting on his ass."

- In a Playboy interview, Bonds compared his wife to toilet paper, explaining that he told her, "Toilet paper just sits there and waits . . . just like you."

- In an interview with the New York Times Magazine, Bonds said, "My grandmother wants me to get her some wheelchair that drives like a car. Why do I need to get her some wheelchair when she's gonna die anyway?"

Class act, eh?

Just... ya know... kill him now. Please. Seriously. Why does this guy continue to walk around instead of being expunged from the Earth?

Until the next time...

-- DBW --

Monday, January 01, 2007

A Year In My Life: Summary

Happy New Year yall --

Two thousand and seven has come, two thousand and six is gone, and my "Year In My Life" experiment is officially complete as of today. Because I know how eagerly you awaited the results, I shall condense everything for your reading pleasure.

I saw 88 movies I rented 81 of them, went to see the other 7, and out of all of them, I now own 5. Conclusion: Im actually kind of surprised that I watched a movie about once every 4 days. I never would have guessed that.

I read 1 book and started another. Conclusion: For someone that considers himself a reader, I sure didnt do much of it.

I went out to have fun - 99% of the time with Blanca - 48 times. 20 times we went to an amusement park with Sea World being the most with 8. We went to 8 plays. And 5 times we left San Diego county including once to another state and once to another country. Conclusion: With an average of going out and doing something about once a week, Id say we did pretty good considering the fact that our "free time" became extremely rare this year.

I went to 26 different restaurants for a total of 51 different times. And 21 of those times were buffets. Conclusion: Again, once a week, and almost half of the time we go to a restaurant to eat, its to a buffet, so either we want our moneys worth, or we like food too much.

I ate at 33 different fast food places for a total of 306 times. The one place we frequented the most was Subway and we went there 70 times. Conclusion: WOW! I eat WAY too much fast food. But, if theres a positive - and thats a BIG if - at least I try to eat as healthy as possible by going to places like Subway or eating veggie meals when theyre available. Still, thats way too much.

So there ya have it. A very simplified account of everything that was me for 2006. In case youre curious, no, I wont be doing the same thing this year too. Well, thats sort of true. I wont be keeping track of my food intake, just the fun stuff. :)

And with that... have a safe and exciting 2007 and try and stay away from fast food.

-- DBW --