You look like crap.
Are you tired? You look tired.
Are you ok? You dont look so good.
Those are just some of the comments I received this past week at work. And I probably deserved every one of them.
I cant really explain why though. I have my theories... well, a main theory anyway. For the first month or so after Christmas, my workload increases to unheard of proportions. Target, as a company, tries to recover from Christmas as quickly as they can, and while all the different sections of the store each have multiple and numerous people to get through this, I have one. Me.
I have nobody to fall back on. I have no help given to me. I have no help even offered to me. In fact, two weeks before Christmas I emailed every single management person in the store and told them that as soon as Christmas was over I would need ALOT of help. Not one of them even responded to my email.
So, my theory is that the workload and the stress has taken a physical and mental toll on me. A toll that is apparently visible to others.
Yesterday was probably the worst. No, yesterday WAS the worst. I dont really have any way to accurately describe what I was feeling cuz I never felt anything like this before. If I had to guess, Id say that it felt like I was on something. My body moved on its own, my thoughts werent sharp, I felt like I wanted to throw up, I felt like I wanted to pass out, and I felt like my heart was going to explode cuz it wouldnt stop beating so fast. To be honest, it was kind of scary.
This morning, I woke up at 11. For me, thats insane. I suppose its also my bodys way of telling me I needed to slow down for a minute. Ill listen. Until Monday.
-- DBW --