Sunday, December 24, 2006


Hello once again --

As most of you that actually know me know, Im probably one of the least "tech" people in the world. Id say I was THE least, but Im sure theres some tribesman in Uganda, sitting in a mud hut, that would debate that claim. Then again, I think I recall a couple Discovery Channel shows that showed that same tribesman bobbing his head to the sounds coming out of his iPod, so who knows.
Point is, as much as I enjoy checking out new gadgets and do-dads that Id like to have one day, I have very few, if any, of the things that are now common place in our society. I dont have an aforementioned iPod, or any other mp3 player. No cell phone. No dvd player other than my PS2, yet I still have a VCR. Heck, I havent even had a watch since my last one broke three years ago. I guess my biggest "gadget" would be my laptop Im using to type this up on.
But like I said, I enjoy the coolness of things that are technologically wonderful and theres one site I go to every single day to check them out: OhGizmo.
So if you ever get a minute, you might wanna check it out and perhaps youll stumble across the next "it" thing that everyone has to have.

And that is you site of the day. Enjoy.

-- DBW --

But I wann et

Merry Christmas Eve --

You know what I want for Christmas? No, not world peace, Id never ask for that cuz too many people would be out of jobs. No, not a million dollars, but I do pray to the Lottery Fairy every night. No, what Id like for Christmas is to never ever again have to see... no, hear... that Jessica Simpson "Daisy Duke" Direct TV commercial!
I could watch the commercial all day cuz I actually have a thing for Miss Simpson. Shes not my favorite female celebrity - I love you Mandy Moore! - but shes pretty darn cute. And those shorts and tight shirt look damn good on her too. But good Lord, PLEASE just turn the sound off!!!
Her Southern accent is quite dreadful, but in all honesty, I can tolerate it. The one thing in the whole commercial that drives me nuts is the background soundtrack.


What the Hell is that?!


Make it stop!!!


Please! I cant take it anymore.


My ears are bleeding.

Thats not music. It cant be. Theres no song in the history of bad music - or music in general - that would feature the sound of a cat, in heat, being tortured. Hell, it would even make Yoko Ono roll over in her grave. What..... shes not dead? Really? Well then, I guess I know what shes been up to. So Santa, please read my letter.....

Dear Big Guy,

Ive been a good boy this year, Ive eaten all my veggatibles, Ive listened to the old people, and Ive looked both ways before stealing office supplies. And, since you never got me that pony I asked for when I was a kid, I think you kinda owe me one. So please, just make it go away. Make the pain stop.

Your pal, Sammy.

Anywho, til next time yall...

-- DBW --

PS: In one of the cruelest twists imaginable, while I was typing this, the damn commercial aired twice on ESPN. TWICE!!! Why God, WHY?!?!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Kill Barry Bonds!

Sup yo --

Im a couple days late with this, but my hatred for Baroid Bonds knows no time frame.

LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. -- The Giants agreed in principle on Thursday to re-sign slugger Barry Bonds for the 2007 season, said a source with knowledge of the negotiations.
The deal, pending Bonds passing the requisite physical, is believed to be one year for $16 million, and guarantees that Bonds will continue his pursuit of Hank Aaron's Major League all-time home run record in his familiar No. 25 San Francisco uniform.

Lets look at that again. Barry Bonds, a known and admitted steroid user, who has at least one bad knee and at times needs crutches to walk, just signed a one year deal for $16 million dollars - and if everything lines up properly, hell end up making $20m - and will be allowed to continue his grossly undeserved pursuit of a hallowed baseball record set years ago by a truly great athlete and a classy person.
Nobody wants this to happen. Unless they live in San Francisco, where the whole city has hopped aboard the giant Balco needle sticking out of Baroids ass and are more than happy to ride it, and him, all the way to the record.
What happened to the Barry that said last year that he would never do anything to tarnish Hank Aarons record? What happened to the small glimmer of hope that Barry would quietly slip into nothingness once the season was over and let the record stand, the way it should? Oh yeah, his ego, and $16 million dollars got in the way. And now it appears that nothing will stop a juiced up Barry from hitting 21 more home runs and stealing something he knows he has no business of getting into smelling distance of.
The record will be tarnished. The game will be tarnished. And a great man will be erased from the record books. But none of that matters to a hopped up, egotistical, waste of a human being.

Kill Barry Bonds. And kill him now before its too late.

-- DBW --

Wrestling fans are dumb

Hola my peeps --

Being one myself, its kind of difficult for me to say this, but I hate wrestling fans. Ok, maybe not hate, maybe just embarrassed by them. No, even better: I hate them, they embarrass me, and in turn, I am embarrassed for them.
I went down to Ticketmaster yesterday to buy tickets for Smackdown in February and managed to snag the second spot in line, which is odd cuz Im usually around number 10. The guy in front of me happened to be an acquaintance from work. Not someone that works with me, just someone that comes in alot to shop. Our little line quickly grew to three and so I didnt have to bother with any forced conversation with my "friend." Unfortunately, this is where my embarrassment comes in.
Im probably not at the top of anybodys "cool" scale, but Id like to believe - even if its a delusional belief - that I can pass for it once in a while. So there I am, standing in line being cool, and guys 1 and 3 are talking about wrestling. Not unusual for people to talk about what theyre planning to see... except when the people are going to see a fictional show and, on some level, honestly believe that what they see in the ring is real. Two people who know its entertainment could not have had the conversations these two were having. To watch wrestling requires a suspension of belief, but these guys were in denial. And, sadly, theyre not alone. And to back that point up, guy 4 walks in and joins the conversation.
So again, there I am, in line, trying to be cool, while three morons are talking about the very "real" sport of wrestling. There were many times I wanted to laugh, like when they tried talking about the actual real behind the scenes issues, cuz it was all bullshit, it was like they were trying to impress each other, except that it was obvious neither knew anything. Or when they used words like "anthrology" and called wrestlers by the wrong name. Or when one guy said "You know whats funny? How theyre all dying." How is that funny? And the guys he named, theyd been dead for year. Kinda like me saying "You know whats funny? How all the movies are silent and in black and white." Neither funny nor currently relevant.
Really, I never wanted to be farther away from a group of people than I did today. And thats saying alot considering the company I keep.
So now its 10am, the ticket window opens, and they call the first guy - the guy I know - up to buy tickets. Obviously I cant recall the seats exactly, but what follows is how the next eight minutes went:

Guy 1: "Id like to buy 2 tickets, on the floor, section B, by the ramp."
Ticketmaster: "The best seats I can get you are Floor C, Row 2, Seats 4 and 5."
Guy 1: "Umm.... (turning to Guy 3 in line) can I see your map again?"
Guy 3: "Yeah, here you go."
Guy 1: "So he says these are the tickets I can get, are those good seats?"
Guy 3: "Yeah, theyre ok I guess."
Guy 1: (Back to the Ticketmaster guy) "Ok, can I get those?"
TM: "Sorry, those tickets are gone now."
Guy 1: "...................umm......... ok, umm........ where can I get now?"
TM: "The best I can get you are Floor G, Row 8, Seats 9 and 10."
Guy 1: "Ok, umm, how much are those going to be?"
TM: "$75 each, plus a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "$75 each, plus a $12 service charge?"
TM: "Yes."
Guy 1: "Ok, umm...... what can I get for $50?"
TM: "For $50 I can get you.... Loge 7, Row 3, Seats 12 and 13."
Guy 1: (Turning to Guy 3) "Can I see your map again?"
Guy 3: "Ok."
Guy 1: "So what do you think, are these good seats?"
Guy 3: "Well, if you get these seats you can see over the crowd (demonstrates this with his hands) and you wont have to worry about people standing up and blocking your view."
Guy 1: "So then I should get these then?"
Guy 3: "Yeah."
Guy 1: (Turning back to Ticketmaster) "Ok, can I get those?"
TM: "Sorry, those are gone now."
Guy 1: "..................... oh, what about those seats you told me the first time?"
TM: "Those are already gone."
Guy 1: "...............................ok, where can I get on the floor?"
TM: "The best right now is Floor Q, Row 5, Seats 4 and 5."
Guy 1: "And those are how much?"
TM: "$75 plus a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "$75 plus a $12 service charge?"
TM: "Yes."
Guy 1: (Counting his money) "And for $50 I can get what again?"
TM: "Right now I can get you Loge 12, Row 9, Seats 16 and 17."
Guy 1: "...................................................................................... (to Guy 3) Can I see your map?"
Guy 3: "Sure."
Guy 1: "Hmm.... he says I can get here or here."
Guy 3: "Try to get these."
Guy 1: (Back to Ticketmaster) "Ok, can I get the floor ones?"
TM: Sorry, those are gone now."
Guy 1: "........................ ok, can I get the Loge ones?"
TM: "Sorry, those are now gone too."
Guy 1: "........................ umm............. can I just get the best you have then?"
TM: "That would be Floor Z, Row 70, Seats 99 and 100."
Guy 1: "And how much are those?"
TM: "$75 and a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "Ok, Ill get those."

I swear to you, I wanted to go up and slap the boy upside the head. Did he not comprehend that he had to make a quick decision? Did he not comprehend that there was a line of people behind him that were losing seats cuz he was being a dumbass?
So what seats did I get? Not the ones I usually do cuz, for some odd reason, I was delayed getting to the ticket window. Hopefully theyll be pretty decent enough though and well have a good time. Otherwise, the next time my "friend" comes into the store, Im kicking his ass. For real.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I hate dogs

Yo --

Its been five days and I still lay here in pain. I have a slight - yet painful - pull in the back of my leg and my back is either broken or in such severe knots that it feels like it is. Combined, my ailments cause me extreme discomfort when I walk.

I hate dogs.

Friday morning, very early, Im leaving my house to walk down the block and meet Blanca to go to work. My street is full of dogs and its not uncommon to hear one, or seven, barking at any given time, so when - at 4 in the morning - I walked past a house two away from mine and heard one barking, I didnt really give it much thought.

Until it got louder.

I glanced to my right and saw that the neighbors pit bull was sitting outside. Great. I continued to walk and then the barking sounded like it was getting closer. I glanced back and saw that the pit bull wasnt sitting anymore... it was now chasing me!
All I can remember seeing initially was these jaws full of teeth opening and closing and making this evil growling sound like it wanted to tear me apart. And they were getting closer and closer. By the time my mind told my feet to get a movin' the pit bull was about 7 feet away from me. And thats like 57 feet too close.
I dont think Ive ever run as fast in my life. Im not as young as I used to be, and even when I was, Im positive I was never that fast. I ran, and ran, and ran, for about a block and a half. And at one point, with the pit bull about two feet behind me, I came to the conclusion that I had to stop running and kick its ass before it kicked mine. Only problem was that, as fast as I was running, I couldnt figure out how to stop and face him without falling on my butt and him jumping on top of me. So I continued to run.
I made it to the corner of the main street, and as I rounded it I saw Blanca turning the corner a block away. Safety was close. Halfway down the block I turned back and saw that the pit bull had given up the chase and was now headed back home. I actually out ran him. My will to survive was apparently greater than his will to maul me.
So I slow to a jog and frantically wave my arms to get Blanca to stop and let me in... and she drives right by me. Right by me and down my street. The street with the pit bull that I wouldnt be able to out run a second time.
So there I am, a block and a half away from home, away from safety, and Im not sure what to do next except that theres no way in Hell Im going back down my street. So I cautiously walk to the corner and see that Blanca had turned into my driveway and was now backing out to face the way she came. To face the direction I was in. So I stood in the middle of the street, waved my arms, and hoped she could see me from a block away. Thankfully she could and she drove back to pick me up. How she could see me a block away and not see me running directly at her, I got no clue.
Once in the car, I called my house to tell everyone to be careful cuz the pit bull was loose. After telling my tale, the response was "Why didnt you come back home?" Yeah, I can see that happening - me being chased by a vicious dog, running back to my house, stopping at my front door, reaching into my pocket to get my wallet, looking for the key, trying to put the key in the key hole of the screen door in near total darkness, finally getting the screen door open, then taking the key and trying to find the key hole to the front door to get it open, and the whole time the pit bull is patiently behind me, tapping his foot, checking his watch, and wondering when the chase was going to continue. Yeah, why didnt I go back home?
I hang up, and now Im able to finally catch my breath, and with the adrenalin finally wearing off, my body started to explode internally. I finally felt the pull in my leg, and it felt like a muscle had been ripped from my bone - and that has yet to go away and continues to cause me to walk awkwardly, though it does seem to be getting better. And my back felt like it had been shattered, and for the most part still does. I still cant go from motionless to moving without near excruciating back pain. I get why my leg feels the way it does, cuz I was running for my life, but Im at a loss to explain why my back is the way it is. Im just all screwed up.
And as a side note, to make my day even worse, this wasnt any ordinary Friday. This was "Black Friday" and I had to work 10 hours in retail Hell. In severe pain.

I hate dogs.

So until next time...

-- DBW --

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The signs of coincidence

Welcome back, I missed ya --

After writing my ghost stories, I was reminded about a couple things that happened to me that, if I had remembered about, I wouldnt have included anyway since I think they have less to do with "ghosts" and more to do with coincidence or "signs." But since it was suggested I tell them, here, for your reading pleasure, are three all too true tales of very odd coincidence, all involving my Mom.

Ok, everyone raise their hands. Come on, raise them. Hey, you over there, I said everyone. Ok, good. Now, if you know who Blanca is, put your hand down. Thats most of you, good. For those of you with your hand still up, Blanca is a girl who I REALLY liked and after finding the guts to ask her out - the first girl I ever asked out - she became my girlfriend. Yeah, I know "Aww... how cute."
Well, at work we used to have everyones birthday for the month posted up on the wall for all to see. So if your birthday was in October, there would be a construction paper pumpkin with your name on it and the date of your birth. July was a sun. And so on. Yeah, it was kind of elementary schoolish, but it had its charm.
The end of May was fast approaching and unknown to me at the time, Junes birthdays had already been posted. I walked out of the lounge, turned the corner, and began to walk down the hall and back onto the sales floor. Half way down, something told me to stop, so I did. I then slowly turned around and looked up at the birthday wall and saw that Blancas birthday was posted on a cloud, and it was in a few days. I kinda shook my head, gave a little laugh, and acknowledged to myself that of all the days of the year, she had to be born on June 2nd.
I went to the floor, found Blanca, and asked her a question: "Whats your favorite color?" To which she answered, blue. Of course it was. So far, were two for two.
Continuing the questioning, I asked her what her favorite cartoon character was, I really shouldnt have been surprised when she said Tweety. Not Mickey, not Bugs, not Superman, but Tweety. Three for three.
Ive liked a lot of girls, but Ive only ever REALLY liked one. Despite going out with my share, Ive only ever had the guts to ask out one. And that one girl likes blue, just like my Mom. Loves Tweety, just like my Mom. And was born on June 2nd, the day my Mom died. Coincidences or signs that this is the girl I should be with?

My second tale.

A couple months ago we were told that we had to move from the house weve lived in for the past twenty years - my Moms house. Something that had come as a shock considering that there was never any real issues between us and the owners.
It was the end of July, a month that in California is usually pretty hot. And as expected, the temperatures were in the 80s and 90s, no rain, and made for a really nice summer. Except for one day. The day we got the moving truck, the first day we started moving, the weather changed. It got pretty cold and it started to rain. The one day during the entire summer that it rained, was the day we started moving. I suppose I could end this right here, but no, it continues.
Last year, for the annual family Christmas ornament exchange, Blanca and I had gone shopping and I told her to look through the whole store and pick out the one she liked the best. She came back with Tweety on a cloud, as an angel (weve already established my Mom liking Tweety, but she also loved angels and had a collection of them), and it would play "Hark the herald angels sing" when Tweetys harp was strummed. Only when it was strummed. That ornament had instant meaning to me and never made it to the exchange. To this day, it sits on my stand next to my bed.
The day after it rained was our last day in the house. Pretty much everything else was out and all that was left was a box here, a box there, and to clean. The last thing I carried out of the house was a small box that contained stuff I didnt want broken, stuff that was very important to me - like my Moms ashes and the Tweety ornament.
I was the last one out of the house, holding that box - and as I stepped through the door for the very last time, the very first step I took through the doorway, I froze. Inside the box, unable to be strummed by anybody, the angel Tweety was playing.

The third tale is a quick one.

Were now in our new house, and all is well. One thing about our house is that our most of our doors are made of unpaited wood - so all the graining can be seen clearly. Ever look at a piece of wood? Unless wood is your thing, its most uneventful. Mostly straight lines with some curvature thrown in to jazz things up. Well, on the back of my bathroom door, roughly 8 inches high, within the wood grain, are the very clear letters T and M. No, really, Im not making this up, its actually there, inside the wood. Besides looking out of place, why the big deal? Because those particular letters are my Moms initials.
Im sure anyone who has been in my bathroom has seen the door, but Im not sure how many people have actually stopped to notice it. Nobody else has said anything, so for now its kind of my little secret. And I cant help but smile everytime I see it.

Well, there ya go. Not necessarily ghost stories, but theyre kind of odd and unusual. Next time Ill tell you about how I was possessed and my head spun around.

So til then...

-- DBW --

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Greetings my peepareenos --

I think Ive come to realize Im a person of extremes. Im either all to the right, or all to the left. Rarely, if ever, am I in the middle. Case in point, my sleeping habits.
For the better part of this year, Ive had the superhuman power of being able to stay up until ungodly hours, watching tv or doing nothing, and then catching a couple hours sleep and then waking up super early and doing it all over again. At times, many times, it was an ability I wish I did not have. Many I night I would finally decide to cease all activity and try and get some rest, only to lay in bed wide awake until it was time to get up for work at 3am. Many times Id have to go through my work day, and the hours after I was off, on zero sleep. The only bright side was that I was able to watch every single one of the shows that were fortunate enough to have me as a viewer. This, despite having a dvd recorder that would allow me to sleep through them and watch them the next day. After plenty of rest.
Then the unthinkable happened. The dvd recorder I didnt really have a need for broke. But that was ok, right? At least I was still "Stays-Awake-Forever-Man" right? Not so fast bub. With no way to record shows, I had suddenly turned into "Semi-Narcoleptic-Boy." The far right of staying awake until stations signed off has quickly turned to the far left and into the very real possibility of falling asleep during the evening news.
For the past month or so Ive woken up pissed cuz I fell asleep - yet again - during a show I really wanted to watch. A show I had no way to record. A show I would never get to see unless I bought the dvd set a year or so from now. There seems to be no hope for me.

Or is there?

The internet can truly be a marvelous place sometimes. And one of its greatest wonders is Time magazines "Invention Of The Year"... YouTube.
No, I didnt just stumble upon it yesterday, its been a valuable resource of mine for some time now. Ive watched things on there I had always wanted to see, things I had never thought Id ever see, some things I didnt know were even on tape. Some of these things are the shows Ive fallen asleep before or during. For example, this morning I watched this weeks "Smallville", "South Park", and "Drawn Together". Back, to back, to back... and all without commercial interruption. Thank you YouTube.
But if my discoveries had ended there, Id be happy. But they dont. Theres something possibly even greater.
Im not sure how accurate this is, but its my belief that the networks have been scared by YouTube. They dont want people like me going to an outside source to watch their shows. If I do that, they get no benefit from it. Especially no profit. So last week during "Lost" - yet another show I fell asleep during - there was a commercial that basically said "Go to to watch tonights episode of Lost." So... I went there the next day.
Not only did they have the most recent Lost, but they had previous weeks too. And not just "Lost", they also had their other shows too. All of em. Just waiting for narcoleptics the world over to click away. And its not just ABC, I was kinda bummed that I havent been able to watch "Heros" and after seeing, I decided to check if NBC was doing it too. Guess what... they are! I can watch "Heros" from the very first episode. Or I can just watch the Cliffnotes versions and get caught up. How fricken cool is that?
No longer do I have to curse myself in the morning for not being able to stay awake. I can lay back, relax, get some much needed rest, and then enjoy all of my favorite shows whenever I want to the next day.

Sometimes the internet is a marvelous place indeed. Now Im gonna go to sleep.

Good night.

-- DBW --

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Trick Or Treat

Boo to you, and a Happy Halloween too --

On the way back from Universal Studios Hollywood Horror Nights we started talking about ghosts and so I figured that today would be a good day to tell a few tales of ghostly things that have happened to me, or around me. So find a log, sit around the fire, and listen closely, for every word is the truth. Promise.

For my first story, I take you back to Chula Vista, on a dark and stormy afternoon, roughly 28 years ago.
My Mom and I had just returned from the store and she told me to take our jackets and put them on her bed. I walked into her room and placed them on the bed, right next to the lady who was sitting on its edge. I dont recall saying a word to her, nor being surprised by her being there, nor noting how odd it was that her appearance was slightly transparent... slightly... ghostly. Though, at the time, I probably didnt have a clue what a ghost even was.
She patted the bed beside her, telling me to sit down. Being a child without fear, I did just as she asked. Most of the encounter I can recall vividly, but our conversation is one aspect I cant remember that well, I just have a vague remembrance of what we talked about. She was very nice, very friendly, and her questions were about how I was doing and how my Mom was. I answered the best I could, and she seemed happy. In fact, she seemed happy just to see me.
My Mother heard us talking and came into the room to see who I was conversing with since the apartment should have been empty. I pointed to the lady sitting next to me, only to see that she had vanished. My Mom started to get worried and looked under the bed, then the closet, then the bathroom. Unable to find the woman, she picked up the phone to call the cops. She asked me what the woman looked like and I described her and what she was wearing. My Mom slowly put down the phone and told me a little story.
Years before I was born, in Norwich, Connecticut, a woman died. This woman looked exactly like the woman I had just talked to. The outfit I had described her wearing was the same clothes she was buried in. My Mom knew this woman very well, it was her Mother. Yes, I just had a conversation with the Grandmother I never knew. And the theory goes that since I was the only grandkid she didnt know before she died, she wanted to see me just once.
There are many things about this experience that I cant wrap my mind around. For starters, ghosts really do exist. No, I cant prove it, nor will I even try to convince you. But for me, they exist and they bring with them many questions. Like why do they exist? Does this prove Heaven exists too? Or Purgatory? Or... some other place entirely? And she died in Connecticut, yet she shows up in Chula Vista, 3000 miles away. And not just in the city I live, but the apartment too. So somehow she knew where to find me. And is she still watching? And who else is watching? And why havent they shown themselves? Theres just an endless string of unanswerable questions. Maybe one day Ill find out. One day in the very distant future.

Our next series of tales - some of them a mere sentence or two - concern the place I work at and it status of being haunted. Unlike others, I have not seen the ghost myself, but on a couple occasions I did have some unexplained things happen to me or in my presence. Read on...

Its not normally my responsibility, but on a few occasions Ive had the opportunity of escorting new employees around the store for a little guided tour. During one of these tours, we were in the back stockroom and one of the guys said to me "Who was that lady?" I didnt see whom he was talking about, but I knew and so I played along.
"What lady?"
"The lady in white that just went down that aisle."
"A lady in white?"
"Yeah, she wasnt dressed like she worked here, but she went down there."
"Ok, lets go see." (Upon getting to the aisle she went down, we see its empty)
"I swear I saw her go down here."
At this point, with the rest of the group looking scared or thinking that the guy is crazy, I told them about the ghost and how were supposedly haunted. And how this wasnt the first time a new employee, not knowing we had a ghost, had seen her.

During one overnight shift, the team I was working with was in the back corner of the store when we all heard someone scream from the other side of the store. We took a quick head count and realized that we were all accounted for and that it was impossible for any of us to be the cause of it. Some worried looks were exchanged between all of us and I volunteered to head toward where the scream came from. I wish I could say I saw something scary, but from what I could tell, nobody was there.

We have a machine at work called the Wave. Its a car of sorts that you can drive around and use to raise yourself up to the ceiling. It has numerous safety features including sensors on the floor that both feet MUST be on or the Wave goes nowhere. You also MUST have at least one hand on the controls or you go nowhere. Thats three points that must be recognized by the Wave for it to even move.
Soon after we got the Wave in the store I was in the back room and I was raised about halfway up to the ceiling. I was facing in the direction of a "bridge" in the back, but was stopped and not moving. All of a sudden, the Wave takes off straight for it. Im frantically trying to get it to stop, but nothing is working. Not even the emergency break. I realize that if I continue to stand up Im going to crash chest high into the bridge, so I duck down and get ready for the impact of metal on metal. Then the Wave stops. I look up to see where Im at and Im literally about two inches away from the bridge. All I could do was shake my head and I actually said out loud, "Ok, you finally got me."

Friday the 13th, about five years ago. Again, Im on the Wave, but this time at the front, as high as I can go, hanging signs on the ceiling. What I needed to do was just out of my reach so I stood on the rails that are about six inches of of the platform floor. So Im not even touching any part of the floor sensors. I also have both of my hands in the air as I hang the sign and so I dont even have one hand on the controls. Remember, you need both feet and at least one hand to move, and I have none of the above. But the Wave decides it wants to do circles all by itself. So there I am, high in the air, spinning around, and I have no control of whats going on. I look down at the girl who was stocking nearby and tell her to look whats happening. I found the situation funny, she got freaked.

One night we came in to work and saw the whole cleaning crew sitting at the front of the store. Our boss asked why everyone was there and they said that they couldnt work anymore cuz the ghost wouldnt leave them alone. Apparently she kept throwing things off the shelves. Some of the cleaning crew never came back.

One of the bosses refuses to believe that the store is haunted, despite numerous people saying otherwise. He would always say "Its not haunted until I see it for myself." One night were on the floor and hes standing right next to me along with a couple other people when we all hear a scream. Just like before, everyone is accounted for. I look at my boss and say "So, still believe were not haunted?" Hes never said no again.

The night before the PS2 was released a bunch of people camped outside the store overnight. I was there and by coincidence the girls next to me were coworkers. It was a bit after midnight and they wanted to tell ghost stories. So I asked if they knew we were haunted and they didnt believe me so I started telling them some of the tales I just told you. When I was done there was nervous laughter and one girl said "Theres no such thing as ghosts" and just as she finished saying that, every light in the parking lot blew out. They screamed so loud and got this look on their face like... well, like they had seen a ghost.

Anywho. Thats all for now and since the fire is starting to burn out, its time to gather your things and head for your tent. Oh, if you see a ghostly lady in there, say hi for me.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Halloween Horror Nights

Hola yall --

Yesterday me, Blanca, Justin, and Cinthya went to Universal Studios for Halloween Horror Nights and had a pretty fun time. We got there late - around 1:30 - and left early - around 11:30 - and still managed to do everything we had planned, plus some extra stuff too.
If you dont know, HHN is Universal Studios redone for Halloween during seven days in October. The park closes at 6 and if you were lucky enough to get your hands on one of the limited tickets you get to go back in at 7 and stay until 2 in the morning. And like I said, the whole park is redone with blood, guts, gore, and death including new and changed shows, mazes, a ton of actors roaming the park doing their best to scare the Hell out of you, performance artists, freak shows, and for the first time ever... riding the tram at night, getting off, and walking through the portions of the backlot. And although there were kids in the park, its definitely an adult themed event. Ill skip what happened during the normal operating hours and jump straight to the night time fun...

House Of Horrors.
This was our first stop. They took the monsters from Val Helsings Fortress Dracula and replaced them with Universal movie monsters. So instead of zombies and werewolves, you had Michael Myers and Freddy. It wasnt really scary, but it was still fun to see all those classic monsters in one place.
Quick story - were inside and one of the non-costumed workers goes up to "Michael Myers" and says something to him which basically amounted to "Come with me" cuz Michael left his scare post and followed the guy. This happened just as we passed, so Michael is literally walking right next to me for a minute or two. I look over at him, he looks back at me and I could practically hear his thoughts of "Ok, fine, whatever" as he lifted his knife and made a few lame slashing motions in my direction. About ten seconds later were approaching a doorway and Michael goes first and right on the other side is another actor who jumps out to scare what he thought was a guest. The door guy goes "boo" or whatever and Michael gets scared since he wasnt expecting that and the door guy sees Michael and gets scared since he was unprepared for that either. Maybe that doesnt translate well written out, but it was hilarious to see.

Anway, one attraction down and were onto...

The Asylum.
The Asylum is a mental hospital gone... mental. The craziest of the residents have overpowered the staff and killed them, and have turned their attention to the other patients and the people unfortunate enough to walk through and view the spectacle. Theres even a Santa running through the hospital. Easily the most disturbing portion of the maze was the bathroom. All the stalls are open, theres a couple dead people who died expelling their last meal, and theres plenty over overflowing toilets and huge piles of crap left by people that didnt even bother to use one. What "makes" this area is the overpowering smell of human waste. Disgustingly realistic.
Quick story - were outside in the que and Leatherface is walking around scaring the heck out of everyone. Blanca is sitting on the railing facing away from most of the goings on. Justin says to her that she better be careful cuz Leatherface might scare her and shell fall back off the railing and crack her head oven. Her response was that shed be fine and she wasnt going to get scared. Almost on cue Leatherface pounds on something very loudly and Blanca literally jumps off the railing, through the air, and clings to me like a cat would cling to a tree. Again, hilarity appears in the midst of horror. How she managed to make it through the night without having a heart attack I dont know. She just ended up being the target of of all of the actors that saw her.

Another attraction down and onto...

The Terror Tram.
Although hes supposed to be your "host" for the night, this is the first and only time youre told about "The Director" and Universals problems with him. Even still, there isnt really any story here, you just board the tram and they take you straight to the Psycho area of the backlot where youre allowed to get off the tram and walk through the set. First you walk past the Whoville set thats full of killer clowns. From there its onto the Bates Motel set thats full of high school kids who are in various states of death and seem to be causing it themselves. From there its to the Psycho house where you encounter Mother and Norman. No real scares there, and you just keep walking until you get to the War Of The Worlds set. Oddly cool walking through a scene of a plane crash. There was a bunch of chainsaw guys, butchers, guys wearing pig masks, and Im not sure how that all tied into a plane crash. Whatever. After that area it was back onto the tram for the ride back to the park, but not before passing The Director killing a couple people in the woods and then a trip through the Mummys Tomb.
Quick story - As I mentioned, all the actors that saw her went out of their way to scare Blanca. She was an easy target. Her and I were holding hands, I was looking away from her to the right and didnt notice one of the actors heading straight for us. I believe his intention was to run between us, but since I didnt see him and he obviously didnt see us holding hands, he ran straight into our "clothesline" and crashed directly into Blanca. You could tell he felt horrible and hes holding her going "Are you ok? Are you ok? Im sorry. Are you ok?" Yep, more abuse for my girlie.

Now to...

Fear Factor Live: Dead Celebrity Edition.
Although we made into into the performance we didnt get to see the show cuz we were told we all had to leave the building. A guest a few feet away from us fell and apparently get hurt pretty bad cuz staff came from all over as did medical people. The guest was down for a long time and when they realized they wouldnt be able to start the show they told us to leave. Unfortunately, instead of caring about the injured person, alot of the audience started booing. I guess seeing Elvis eat a bug was more important to them than treating someone who got injured.

On to...

If youve seen the regular Waterworld show, theres not alot of difference to this one. They just added alot of blood to the death scenes, and a whole lot of sexual innuendo. I think Im ashamed of myself for saying that the best part was watching The Deacon dance around in a thong while it was on fire. Oh well.

And for our last attraction...

Carnival Of Carnage.
COC is a freak show and its the first time I had ever seen acts like these performed in person. A guy walking and jumping on broken glass, another sticking his face in the same broken glass and having an audience member stand on his head. A guy sticking needles through his neck and cheek. Another bending rebar with his throat. And a guy placing 100 firecrackers on his chest and setting them off. It wasnt a great show, it was slow and clumsy at times, but in the end its something I can scratch off my "to do" list.

There was also "scare zones" throughout the park. For example, the London streets had zombie policemen, Mr Hyde, and Jack The Ripper walking around while the Medieval Village had people infected with the Black Plague coming after you. My favorite though was Deadwood and its zombified and dead cowboys. To me, they just looked the best
And there was also Chuckies Insult Emporium which was basically Chuckie from Childs Play insulting an audience of onlookers. It varied from R to X rated material, and honestly, it was nothing I hadnt heard in junior high. The crowd seemed to enjoy it, but I thought it was dull and unimaginative. Maybe Im just old.

The only things we didnt get to do during Halloween Horror Nights was seeing Fear Factor and riding Jurassic Park at night. But what we did do was fun and hopefully well do it again next year too. And if you didnt go this year, make an effort to do so next year cuz its worth it.

Until next time...

-- DBW --

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Hello again

Well, here we are again. Miss me?

If youre keeping count, this is blog number... 3? Yeah, even I lost count. Its ok though cuz this one will be bigger and better. Full of extra oomph, but still 99% fat free. And the same rules still apply though:
- I post what I want. If I write something you dont like, go get your own blog. This one is mine and I say what I wish.
- I post when I want. Sometimes Ill post every day. Sometimes a couple times a day. Sometimes Ill miss an entire month. This isnt a job, Im not getting paid to do this, and so I have no requirement to do so.
- Youre encouraged to comment as much as you wish, on anything you wish. All I ask is that you try to be civil, even if we disagree on something.

So there ya go. A quick introduction. Simple rules. So sit back and enjoy the ride, but remember that the exits are here, here, annnnnnnd here.... and you may get off anytime you wish.

-- DBW --