Thursday, December 20, 2007

Procrastination

There are four days until..... nevermind, Ill finish this some other time.....

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Stupid

Happy two weeks before Christmas to yall --

So, Im watching tv and theres a commercial for Lowes, I think, and theres a guy who walks up to a female employee and asks her to pretend to be his wife while he went shopping for her. Perhaps youve seen this?
Anywho, they walk around the store and he picks up item after item in a "Hey honey, look what I got you!!!" sort of way and no matter what he picks up the employee looks at him with a disgusted look like "You cant be serious?!"
In the background you can see a good portion of the store, and I cant see a single thing in there that I would buy for my girlfriend. Nothing. No tools, no hardware, no nothing. Id get slapped upside the head if I wrapped anything up from there and tried to pass it off as a gift for her.
But thats not the worst part. Again, despite it not being a "girl" store, and despite the female employee being totally embarrassed and disgusted that this guy would even come to this store for a gift for his wife, the two of them finally settle on the perfect gift... a gift card.

Did you get that? The female employee basically told the guy "Youre an idiot for shopping here for your wife, she wont like anything you pick out from here, and youd be lucky to "get some" ever again if you do... so just go ahead and buy her a gift card. From here. So she can come in and not see anything she wants to buy."

It would be like me getting my best, straight, guy friend a gift card to Victorias Secret. Why? Hed never use it and Id look like an idiot. So how exactly do these commercials get green lit? How can the concept get past a room full of people whos job it is to discard nonsensical crap like this?

I digress. I shall scratch my head no more for this being on the air since nobody scratched theirs before it got there.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving yall

WOW!

So it says its been two months since I last posted anything. I knew it had been awhile, just not that long. Sorry.

I have three different things to talk about, which could easily take up three different posts, but Ill condense them and just make one multi-purpose post. Everyone cool with that? Good.


1) Im bored. Plain. Simple. Bored. I went home early on Monday because I was sick, called in Tuesday and Wednesday for the same reason, Im off today because its a holiday, I work tomorrow - NOT looking forward to it - and then Im off on Saturday and Sunday. So in a 7 day period Ill have worked 1 and a half days. Im barely on day 4, and Im bored. I was bored on day 2, but I was too busy being sick to care. So anyone reading this, I invite you over for a night of board games and scary movies. Make sure to bring your jammies with the feet and the back door... Ill be wearing mine, they have trains on them.


2) Have you heard the amazingly awesome news? Barry Bonds is going to prison! Woohoo! Yeah!
Ok, so not quite yet, theres a few legal procedures he has to go through, but one does not usually get a federal indictment against them and walk away. If the feds, the United States government, thinks your guilty, then they have a pretty damn good reason and youre pretty much screwed.
So why is he going to prison? This might come as a shock, so you might want to sit down... ok, hes going to prison for steroids and his lying about them. I know, I know, I couldnt believe it either! Barry Bonds and steroids? Who woulda thunk it?
Besides him going to prison and getting analized by many many... bat boys... the other good thing about this is that maybe baseball will now strip him of his stolen record and give it back to Hank Aaron, gift wrapped with an apology... and this should prevent him from ever getting anywhere near the Hall Of Fame. Perhaps there is justice afterall.


3) It seems as though once a week Im introduced to yet another new piece of merchandise of amazing coolness. Heres the latest three.....
- Crayola Multicultural Crayons - http://www.fatbraintoys.com/images/products/med2/BS038.jpg
How neato! Theres a crayon for every cultural in the world. But they could have come up with better names other than "peach" or whatever. Why not "Mexican brown" or "white trash"? Damn the world for being overly pc.

- Sam The Cooking Guy Flip Grill - http://www.thecookingguy.com/grill
Is it a griddle? Yes. Is it a grill? Yes. Is it amazing? Absolutely! And it comes with a cook book and its all from the most awesomest cooking guy in the whole world... who just happens to live here in San Diego. Seriously. Hell go into the cabinet or fridge, take out whatever is there, and make something Emeril will drool over. And the other cool part is that its available only at my work, not yours.

- Freschetta pre-sliced pizza - http://www.freschetta.com/promotions/PizzAmore.php
Its pizza... presliced... on a baking sheet. This will definitely be taste tested in the very near future.


Aight yo, thats about it for me. Pumpkin pie is calling and I cant say no anymore. So have a Happy Thanksgiving and Ill try not to take two months between posts.

Ciao

Thursday, September 20, 2007

R.I.P. Nelson Mandela

I, like Im sure the rest of you are, am saddened by the loss of Nelson Mandela. This news has come as a huge shock to his family, his friends, the world as a whole, and most of all, to Nelson Mandela himself... who thought he was very much alive.
Sadly, that is not the case. As reported first by your very own President Bush, he is, in fact, dead. He was murdered. Killed. By the recently hanged Saddam Hussein. Possibly with weapons of mass destruction. Who knows. But if Bush says its so, then it must be, right? After all, he is "The Decider" and if he decides Mr. Mandela is dead, then not even Nelson himself can argue. Facts shall not get in the way of a good sound bite.

YOUR President is an idiot - http://youtube.com/watch?v=4NOYi_Rs1YM

-- DBW --

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Simplest Life

Yes, its me again. Dont try and pretend you dont like seeing me again. Dont even try it. Anywho, I was looking at naked women... umm... I mean checking out High School Musical 2... awww Hell, Im less embarrassed about the naked women, so well just stick with that.
Anywho, someone posted about Lindsay Lohans plea deal for her latest criminal escapades and, honestly, I laughed in disgust. So I did some checking - specifically at Americas three little angels: Paris, Nicole, and Lindsay - and heres their rap sheet.

Name: Paris Hilton
Date: September 2006
Crime: Drunk driving, reckless driving
Jail time: 0 days

Name: Paris Hilton
Date: January 2007
Crime: Driving on a suspended license
Jail time: 0 days

Name: Paris Hilton
Date: February 2007
Crime: Driving on her suspended license while on probation, speeding
Jail time: 23 days (initially released after 4)

Name: Nicole Richie
Date: February 2003
Crime: Possession of heroine, driving on a suspended license
Jail time: 0 days

Name: Nicole Richie
Date: December 2006
Crime: Driving under the influence while going the wrong way on the freeway, admitted to also using drugs
Jail time: 82 minutes!!!

Name: Lindsay Lohan
Date: May 2007
Crime: Driving under the influence, cocaine possession
Jail time: 0 days

Name: Lindsay Lohan
Date: July 2007
Crime: Possession of cocaine, transportation of a narcotic, driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license
Jail time: 1 day

Lets recount this shall we.....

Crimes: 4 instances of drunk driving, 1 instance of reckless driving, 1 instance of driving the wrong way on the freeway, 1 admission of drug use, 4 instances of driving on a suspended license, 1 instance of speeding, 1 instance of possession of heroine, 2 instances of possession of cocaine, 1 instance of transportation of a narcotic.
Jail time: 24 days, 82 minutes

Flippin' hilarious. Naw, the rich and famous dont get special treatment. Nope, not at all.

-- DBW --

Black and white

Racist. The word gets tossed around very loosely these days. And it seems that if one person of one color looks at another person of a different color the wrong way, then it automatically makes them a racist. Perhaps, with this post, I too may be adding to that problem, but quite honestly, I dont know what else to call it.

When the whole Don Imus mess happened, the NAACP came out and said...

"The Imus controversy has had the unexpected but refreshing effect of reigniting an American conversation about race and the coarsening of our society. We want to extend the conversation to include the prevalence of bigotry, misogyny and homophobia which cheapens our society, denigrates our population, and marginalizes our people. Whether it comes from so-called `shock jocks', rappers or the non-famous, it has to end, and the NAACP stands ready to assist in the dialogue and the solutions."

Thats all well and good and one should applaud any national organization, especially one with such power and influence, for coming out with such a statement. Things are wrong in society, and they need to be addressed and changed. But, if we were to actually take a look at other quotes made by the NAACP, exactly what message are they trying to send?

In official statements concerning the firing of Don Imus after his comments about black female basketball players...

"The NAACP commends CBS and MSNBC for removing Don Imus from their networks and also recognizes that further action is needed."

And...

"The announcement by CBS and MSNBC that they will no longer carry Don Imus' show is a welcome first step in removing this scourge from the airwaves."

Again, sounds good. But in an official statement concerning the firing of Isaiah Washington after his comments about a homosexual cast member...

"If he's being let go because of that incident, I'm not sure the punishment fits the crime."

So, is the NAACP saying that its okay for a black person to say hurtful and disrespectful things about a homosexual, but its absolutely horrible for a white person to say hurtful and disrespectful things about a black person? Or are they saying that homosexual comments are acceptable, but racial ones arent, regardless of who says them? Im confused.

To further my confusion, the NAACP just came out with this comment about Michael Vick...

“As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football. We further ask the NFL, Falcons, and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Vick from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country."

So again, according to the NAACP, it should be applauded and commended that a white person should lose his job (and rightfully so) for comments he made against black women, but we should be horrified that a black person could and should lose their job for homosexual comments, dog fighting, animal cruelty, and killing dogs in barbaric fashions.

Is that racism? I dont know. But what I do know is that, in certain situations, the NAACP is definitely not color blind.

-- DBW --

Saturday, August 11, 2007

It aint Shakespeare

Put a bunch of monkeys in a room and eventually theyll write Shakespeare.

Basically, simplistically, it means that anybody can come up with anything at anytime. I dont know where that phrase originated from, but someone probably thought of it a long time ago, did nothing about it, and then someone else came along and "thought of it first" and became super rich cuz they didnt just sit on their butt.

And that, my friends, is why were all here.

When I was younger, I used to enjoy drawing. It was cool, it was escapism, and for a bit I thought I had some sort of talent, talent that would lead me to Disney - which at the time was the only kind of art I really knew. My interest in drawing led me to comic books. And comic books led me to a mind filled with ideas - ideas for the next big character and for the next great comic book. I was delusional.
The story I had written isnt really complicated, but too long to actually get into here. But I had plans, big plans. And stories, big stories. But then something happened... I lost interest. I stopped writing and I stopped drawing. Completely. Cant really explain why, but it is what it is. As I went back and looked at my Tripod account to research for this post, it showed that I uploaded my pictures and rough drafts back in May of 1999. Even though they had existed well before that, if we use that upload year for our example, Ive done nothing in 8 years.

So much for Disney.

Lets jump ahead to 2003. A new book was coming out - "Supreme Power" - and I thought it would be interesting to read since it was basically a Marvel take on DC characters. Going in, I knew nothing about any of the characters, but it didnt take me long to find quite a bit of similarities to this book and what I had written many years prior.
Before I continue, I dont mean to imply that anything published in these comics was stolen from me. To my knowledge, nobody had ever seen a single word I had written, so I dont see how anybody could have stolen anything. Its just that this is where the monkeys and Shakespeare come in. For example, lets look at the main characters - Marvels "Hyperion" and my "Diablo."
Raised by the US government, against his will, to be used as a weapon. Questioning his role and his existence, he left the government compound and ran away. In an effort to bring him back to the fold, the government sent a group of super powers after him. Not wanting to go back, he fights the government causing massive damage in the process. Teams up with eventual "Squadron Supreme" members to track down a bad guy who was given powers after being injected with alien DNA. Rejoins "Squadron Supreme" and becomes their leader - under the control of the US government.
Recruited by the US government, against his will, to be used as a weapon. Questioning his role and his existence, he left the government compound and ran away. In an effort to bring him back to the fold, the government sent a group of super powers after him. Not wanting to go back, he fights the government causing massive damage in the process. Teams up with "Badd Company" to track down bad guys who were given powers after being injected with alien DNA. Rejoins "Badd Company" and becomes their leader - under the control of the US government.

Like I said, I dont see how they could have stolen anything, but can you see how I would think its my story being written by someone else?
"Supreme Power" would eventually morph into "Squadron Supreme" and soon after that I stopped reading it. Some of the characters were just really weak DC rip offs, so the aspect that attracted me to the title in the first place ended up driving me away. So I dont know how closely their story follows mine anymore. Maybe its for the best.

Now, lets jump to 2007. A couple weeks ago to be exact. Im in bed, reading "Robin" - my favorite character - and a couple pages before the end of the book a new villain was introduced. Her name is "Skill" and she bares a striking resemblance to..... "Diablo."
Actually, to be completely honest, the majority of her is "Diablo" and there are bits and pieces of another character I created - "Coda" - thrown in.
Anywho, take a look - http://www.geocities.com/dbwcv/Comparison-01.JPG - and decide for yourself. "Skill" is on the left and the other two pictures are "Diablo" (on top) and "Diablo" and "Coda" (on bottom).
I got to meet Freddie E Williams II - the "Robin" artist - at Comic-Con this year and he doesnt seem to be the type to steal someone elses work. So once again I have no choice but to blame those damn monkeys.

Anyway, thats it for me tonight. So until next time.....

-- DBW --

Friday, August 10, 2007

Countdown to Hell - Zero Hour

This post pains me. It really does. But I will continue to update it, and I fear on a regular basis, until the moment Barry Bonds officially enters Hell. In other words, until he passes Hank Aaron on the all time home run list. Join me, wont you?

May 5th, 2007 - Barry Bonds hit home run number 744. Thats just 11 behind Hank Aarons 755 mark for most home runs in a career. So sad. And Im sure there are a few people out there that think Im being too hard on the upstanding Mr Bonds, but for those of you I offer this: Bud Selig and Hank Aaron himself have both gone on record as saying neither will be at the game. Let that sink in for a second... did it sink yet?.... how about one more second... ok, the Commissioner of baseball and the home run king himself have both publicly turned their backs on Barry Bonds and the most hallowed record in baseball. If that doesnt say everything about this situation, then I dont know what does.

May 9th, 2007 - Barry Bonds has hit home run number 745. Hes now 10 behind Hank Aaron and expected to reach the mark on June 22nd. Boo.

May 27th, 2007 - After a drought that wasnt nearly long enough, Barroid hit 746. Whats the chances of him exploding - literally - before he hits nine more?

June 11th, 2007 - Two more long weeks passed before Barroid hits another homerun, number 747 to be exact. Think maybe... "someone else"... doesnt want this to happen and doing everything in their power to stall it? I hear Babe works in mysterious ways.

June 17th, 2007 - Fenway Park. Boston. Home to baseball legends Carl Yastrzemski, Cy Young, Babe Ruth, and Ted Williams. To name but a few. Today Barroid hit his first ever home run ther. Hippie skippy. Hes now at 748. Somewhere, Teds head is rolling over in its freezer.

June 22nd, 2007 - Yet another homerun for Barroid. Hes at 749. Im running out of words to describe my disgust.

June 29th, 2007 - Number 750 was hit by Barroid tonight. The good news is that its almost over and I wont have to write about it anymore. The bad news is that its almost over and Barroid will have the record. Also, a fan ran onto the field and up to Barroid and put his arm around him... unfortunately, he was not an Al Qaeda suicide bomber.

July 3rd, 2007 - Barroid hit 751... and like the previous 750, I did not care.

July 20th, 2007 - Barroid hit two home runs today. Hes now at 753, 2 away from Hank Aaron, and apparently no closer to leaving this earth before he passes him.

July 27th, 2007 - Barroid added another homerun to his total, putting him at 754 and just one shy of the 755 mark set by Hank Aaron. Come on people, its not too late for someone to step up and take him out. Not just for me, but for the good of baseball. Someone? Anyone?

August 4th, 2007 - Barroid tied Hank Aaron, against my Padres, today. I got to see it live, I was not impressed.

August 7th, 2007 - Barroid is now YOUR new home run king. Arent you proud?

After he became the "king" Barroid gave a press conference and said, "This record is not tainted at all. At all. Peroid."
If that statement right there doesnt prove that Barroid lives in his own world, a world where he really is the "greatest of all time", where he has never done anything wrong, and where hes the model of sportmanship, then I dont know what does. Good thing his roided head has expanded enough to contain his fantasy.

For now, thats all I got. Ill try and refrain from going off on Barroid again. Cant promise anything, but Ill try.

-- DBW --

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Comic-Con 2007

Hola --

How many of yall went to Comic-Con this year? Raise your hands. Me? Yeah, I went. Of course I went. And for the first time, I went all five days. Not every minute of every day, but I was physically there for five days. Heres how it went.....

WEDNESDAY
This was Preview Night. The exhibit hall was open from 5 to 9 and it was our first chance to see all the goodies. Didnt see anybody famous or anything, Justin and I walked the floor and left.

THURSDAY
Today was a... different... day. I got to Comic-Con at 2pm... alone. Justin was in Del Mar at a work thing, and so I went by myself with the expectation that he would join me later for the "Lost" panel which starts at 5. So I get there, see a couple people "in line" and decide theres no need for me to sit there with them, so Ill go look at the people signing autographs to kill some time. So I walk around the corner, heading for the door to Sails, and... I see a bunch of people sitting on the floor in a line formation. Next to them is a sign that says "Lost line starts here." So those couple people I saw "in line" before really werent. So I walked the length of the real line, followed it around another corner, and saw even more people sitting down. At 2pm. For a panel that starts at 5. Peachy. So killing time would not be an option, instead I would have to sit down and join the line. I called Justin, he said hed be leaving around 3:30, and I wouldnt be alone for long. At 3pm, the line starts moving. They opened the doors and we start filing inside. By 3:30, when Justin said he was leaving, I had already sat down and saved him a seat. Its 3:45 and Justin calls and said he was just leaving and would be there in about 20 minutes. So hell be a little late, but all is well. 4:00 comes, then 4:05, twenty minutes have passed so I call to check up and see where hes at. No answer. I leave a message and go back to waiting. 4:10, 4:15, still no word, so I call again to see whats up, no answer. 4:20 I call. 4:25 I call. No answer. 4:30 another call and finally he picks up. He cant find parking, doesnt know if hes gonna make it. 4:35, hes still not parked. 4:40, still not parked. I talk to security walking around and they say if the seat isnt filled by the time the panel starts, I have to give it up. 4:40, 4:45, still no Justin. I call again, hes still not parked, and while Im on the phone he does some illegal stuff to get himself a space. Hes now parked, its 4:50, and he still has to get inside, upstairs, and then stand in a huge line. 4:55 he walks in the room... just passed the entire line and walked right inside. Talk about cutting it close. So we watched "Lost" and then after that we went to the exhibit hall to pick up our Mini-Mate Treasure Hunt package (which we never participated in), I bought Blancas niece a special edition Comic-Con exclusive My Little Pony, and then we left around 8:00.

FRIDAY
Justin couldnt make it today, but Mary decided to come for her very first day ever at Comic-Con. There wasnt any panels we wanted to see, so for 5 hours - 2pm until 7pm - we walked the floor. Saw our share of famous people and then we left.

SATURDAY
Saturday was me and Mary again, and today was panel day. The only thing she wanted to see was "Heroes" and it started in the afternoon so we got there at 10 thinking wed have plenty of time and still be able to get good seats. Nope. Before "Heroes" was two other panels - "Bionic Woman" and some "TV Guide" thing. When we got there, we saw something rather surprising... the line was HUGE! For "Bionic Woman"? Really? We did get in, but ended up with seats at the back of the room, but it was okay, cuz when "Bionic Woman" was over, people would leave, and wed be able to much closer. Again, nope. Turns out, 95% of the room had the same idea we had: sit through the first two panels just to get to "Heroes." Thankfully, I was entertained by "Bionic Woman" and not bored with the "TV Guide" thing, and much to my surprise, I really enjoyed "Heroes" and I think I need to start watching this Not a horrible start to the day. After "Heroes" was over, we walked the floor for a bit and then decided to go get some lunch, so we left the Convention Center and walked to Gaslamp and got some pizza. Pepperoni for her, teriyaki chicken for me. And lots of iced tea. So then we head back to Comic-Con for the panel I wanted to see: "Smallville." Learning a lesson from earlier, we got there in time to sit through two other panels - "Ray Bradbury and Ray Harryhausen" and then "The Sarah Conner Chronicles" - just to get to the third. This time, after the first ended, we were able to move closer and we got some really good seats. The Rays are entertaining to listen to just for the history that they bring so it was ok, and again, much to my surprise, the "Sarah Conner Chronicles" really kicked ass. It was an awesome action movie. Yet it wasnt a movie, it was just the pilot episode for a new tv series based on the "Terminator" mythos. I look forward to this. And then "Smallville" starts and pretty much all the secondary characters showed up to talk about season two... no Clark, no Lex, no Lana, but Lois, new Supergirl, Martian Manhunter, and Green Arrow were there, so all was not lost. I did mention Lois was there, right? Yeah, shes cute. So that was it, six panels, 9 hours, and home we went.

SUNDAY
Today was a pretty slow, relaxed, uneventful day. Kind of like Preview Night was. Justin and I left my house around 10am and got to Comic-Con around 10:15, but drove around for like 45 minutes looking for a parking space. Well, a free parking space. Finally we just decided to pay for a spot underneath the Convention Center. So we finally got inside, walked every single aisle of the exhibit hall, and then left. Thats pretty much it.

So, another year come, another year gone, and it was alot of fun..... even if it was extremely tiring on me. I already got my tickets for next year, and I cant wait!

Until next time...

-- DBW --

Sunday, July 22, 2007

George W Hitler

Wanna hear something funny? President Bush has now said that there is no person or branch of government that can over rule him. He is the only one who can say just how much power he has. Hes the limiter, the extender, the decider. Hes God. No, hes the guy God looks up to. Hes George W Bush... bitch!

If you wish to read the full article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/19/AR2007071902625.html?hpid=topnews

If you just want some highlights...

"...the Justice Department will never be allowed to pursue contempt charges initiated by Congress against White House..."

"...Congress has no power..."

"Mark J. Rozell, a professor of public policy at George Mason University who has written a book on executive-privilege issues, called the administration's stance "astonishing. That's a breathtakingly broad view of the president's role in this system of separation of powers. What this statement is saying is the president's claim of executive privilege trumps all. The administration's stance is almost Nixonian in its scope and breadth of interpreting its power. Congress has no recourse at all, in the president's view. . . . It's allowing the executive to define the scope and limits of its own powers."'

"Sen. Charles E. Schumer (N.Y.) said the administration is "hastening a constitutional crisis."'

"Rep. Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif.) said the position "makes a mockery of the ideal that no one is above the law. I suppose the next step would be just disbanding the Justice Department."'

"Stanley Brand, who was the Democratic House counsel during the Burford case, said the administration's legal view "turns the constitutional enforcement process on its head. They are saying they will always place a claim of presidential privilege without any judicial determination above a congressional demand for evidence -- without any basis in law." Brand said the position is essentially telling Congress: "Because we control the enforcement process, we are going to thumb our nose at you."'

"Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) called it "an outrageous abuse of executive privilege" and said: "The White House must stop stonewalling and start being accountable to Congress and the American people. No one, including the president, is above the law."'

Not true my friend, not true at all. One person is above the law, and his name is George W Bush.
KTP baby, KTP.

Until next time...

-- DBW --

Jerky

Hola --

Last night we went to our annual family night at the Padres game (which has been loosely attached to my birthday celebration), and we chose to go on "Tony Gwynn Appreciation Night" where they unveiled the first, of hopefully many, statues at Park At The Park.

But this isnt about the good and the great of the night or the legend that is Gwynn.....

Why, oh why, must people insist on being obnoxiously rude and calling attention to themselves at the expense of the comfort and enjoyment of everyone else?!
We were sitting in right field - appropriate since it was Tony Gwynn night - and in the seat right behind us, literally right behind us, was this guy who was either drunk (though in all honesty he didnt appear to be) or just a first class ass.
For the entire game, and you must understand that by saying the entire game, I really mean the entire game, he didnt shut up. He alternated from screaming, to yelling at the roving camera man, to yelling at the players, to yelling at nobody in particular, to screaming some more. And if youve ever been around someone thats being obnoxious, youll notice that - like this guy - whatever is being said or screamed makes absolutely no sense.

"Yeah, thats it, whos your Daddy, thats it, yeah, go ahead and swing again with that empty.... bat.... thing..... yeah!!!! Camera man!!! Over here!!! Were cool!!! Were cooler than them!!!"

Around the sixth inning his throat got sore. How do I know this? Cuz he rolled up one of the free posters they gave away and used it as a megaphone to scream "My throat is sore!!!" Unfortunately, not sore enough to shut him up though.

So why? Why do people feel the need to do this? Why do they choose to be an ass? And why doesnt anybody thats with him - like the guys girlfriend - tell him to shut up? And if youre one of these people, and youre reading this, do me a favor... die.

-- DBW --

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Not my President

A year and a half. Thats it. One year and one half until we can wipe our hands, or our asses, of the mockery that was the Bush White House. And thats 18 months too long.

It seems that every day I log onto the internet I see yet another story about how Bush has tried to give, or has given, the finger to someone. Congress. Iran. Mexicans. Civil Rights. Your Mom. The list could literally go on and on and not end.

Unfortunately, theres plenty of blame to go around for this. And alot of it goes to you people. Yes you.
You can claim that in the year 2000 you didnt know any better and that you honestly thought Bush would be a decent President. For that, you get a pass. But when 2004 rolled around, when you knew how screwed up in the head he was, when you knew how much of a damn liar he was, when you heard about secret after secret that he was keeping, when youve seen him continue to take our rights away one by one, when youve seen him turn the world - including many of our long time friends - against us, we he unjustly declared war and invaded another country (or four), when his hands became soaked in the red blood of our soldiers while the pockets of his friends became lined with green... when all of this, and more, happened, what did you do? You said "Thank you, give me four more years."

Good job America. Good job.

Its tough to sit here and continue to watch the exploits of the most corrupt President this country has ever had, to see him prance around like he rules the entire world, acting like a drunken redneck, all the while thumbing his nose at every single one of us - even at you dumbasses that voted for him - and not be embarrassed to be an American.
Yes, I said it. Im "this close" to actually being embarrassed to have been born in this country. In all honestly, if I was in another country and someone asked me where I was from, Id be very tempted to say Canada.
But I wont do that. I wont be embarrassed. I wont let him, or you, force me to feel that way. Instead, I will do what I should have done long ago..... from this point on, George Walker Bush is no longer the President of MY United States. Hes no longer MY President.
To all of you that voted for him, hes your responsibility. His path of destruction, devastation, and utter contempt for right and wrong is the legacy that you left to America. No, what you left to the world. Youre just as much to blame for this as he is. Maybe more. He is who he is, and he cant change that. But you, you had a choice. And you fucked up. And you did so knowingly, willingly, with a smile on your face, and then celebrated afterwards. Again I say, good job.

A year and a half until Im rid of him. But today, I reclaim my country for myself. The rest of you, you can take your dictator and get the Hell out of here, cuz I dont want you anymore.

So Happy Birthday to MY America. And Georgie... go fuck yourself.

-- DBW --

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Fair or fowl

Fried zucchini. Fried mushrooms. Mile long hot dogs. Hot dogs on a stick. Blooming onions. Fried potato cakes. Fried Twinkies. Fried Snickers. Giant fried onion rings. Roasted corn on the cob. The "exotic Mexican churro", which Im sure plays well in Ohio, but doesnt have the wow factor here in San Diego, a giant fire roasted chile smothered in nacho cheese, funnel cakes.
What do all of these things have in common? Well, if youve been to a Fair recently, youd know that you can get all of these - and more - for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just to satisfy the curiosity of your tastebuds.
And every year I go to the San Diego County Fair - one of the biggest in the country - there always seems to be at least one thing that leaves me scratching my head. This year, there was three.
Fried Coke - I looked for this, but I was unlucky enough to find it. Fried avocados - we were tempted to get one, but... decided against it. But, the one that made me look twice, ok, four times, was something called a Krispy Kreme chicken sandwich. Take your normal chicken sandwich, remove the bun, and replace it with a Krispy Kreme doughnut. Now, doesnt that sound yummy? Or... sick. Im not sure. But I admit, if its there next year I just might have to try me one. And a fried avocado. And wash it down with a fried Coke.

So, until next time.

-- DBW --

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Hitcher

Hola --

Every once in a while a movie comes along and surpasses any reasonable level of "suspension of disbelief." When youre watching a movie, you accept with no problem that giant gorillas exist and that they roam New York. Or that an undead serial killer can haunt your dreams. Or even that the geeky loser best friend can actually walk away with the most beautiful girl in school.
Yesterday I watched a movie called "The Hitcher" that was supposed to be a thriller, yet I could help but laugh my ass off at its stupidity and absurdity. If you havent seen the movie yet and dont want it spoiled for you, skip the rest of this post cuz Im gonna give you a brief run down of it.

We open in perhaps the most predictable of places: it was a dark and stormy night and two people are driving down a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. Pretty original. So theyre driving and they almost run over a guy - "The Hitcher" - whos standing in the middle of the road besides his broken down car. Their car spins, they dont know what to do, the Hitcher starts walking towards them, they cant start their car, he gets ever closer, the car starts, they take off, leaving the Hitcher once again standing in the middle of the road.
The couple drive to a gas station to fill up and get some snacks and who should hop out of the passenger side of a rig just a few minutes later? The Hitcher. The couple is getting ready to leave and the guy feels the need to apologize for almost killing the man so he goes up, says sorry, and then agrees to take the Hitcher down the road a bit. Big mistake.
Not long into the ride, the Hitcher pulls out a knife, threatens to kill the girl, then turns and holds it against the guys neck. The guy slams on the breaks, the Hitcher smacks into the windshield, and the couple manage to literally kick him out of the car. The Hitcher goes rolling along the road, and lays face first in a pool of collecting rain, in not too good of shape. The couple - who drive a suped up muscle car - speed off like their lives depend on it - which they do. Remember that point: a speeding suped up muscle car.
Its now the next day, the couple are driving down the road when a station wagon with a family of four passes them. Whos in the back seat? The Hitcher.
Did you get that? A familys station wagon manages to pick up the Hitcher and then catch and pass a speeding muscle car. Unbelievable. But wait, theres more.
The couple try to warn the family, but in the process drive off the side of the road thus destroying their car. They climb back to the road and walk a bit where they come across the station wagon and the now slain family of four. No, wait, the dad is still alive, so they get into the car and drive to the hospital - or truck stop, whichever comes first.
While theyre there the cops arrive and arrest the couple for the murder of the family. They take them to the jail and lock the guy up while they question the girl. Guess who shows up at the jail? Yep, The Hitcher. And he kills every single cop in the building. With just a knife. No, seriously. But wait, theres more.
Somehow the couple manages to escape just before a gang of cops show up. Next stop, a junk yard. And guess who shows up? A cop. Ha! You thought I was gonna say someone else huh? Gimme a second. So the guy goes out to tell the cop whats going on, the cop is having none of it and tries to arrest him. The girl comes out with a gun, and as shes trying to explain to the cop that theyre innocent, the cop gets a bullet right between the eyes... from The Hitcher. He was hiding in a bus with a sniper rifle. Another cop shows up, couple escape in a cop car, Hitcher kills the second cop. Just for fun.
Now the couple are driving down the road, being chased by a phalanx of cops. Theres like 37 cop cars and even a helicopter. Then guess who joins the chase? Yep, The Hitcher. In a Trans Am. Where did he get the car? Anywho, he chases the cops down and one by one picks them off. He pulls up along side a cop, shoots him in the head, and the cop car flips. Cuz its a known fact that a cop car will automatically flip once its driver is killed. Remember this.
So again, one by one the Hitcher is killing cops on his way to get to the couple. And then he goes and takes out the helicopter too. From the Trans Am. C'mon man, Kitt can even do that. So he finally gets to the couple, destroys their car and then... drives away. What? Why?
The couple high tail it to a hotel where they take a nice romantic shower and get themselves a little something something. Then the guy goes outside, leaving the girl alone inside. Well, not alone for long cuz shes joined in bed by... the Hitcher. They eventually manage to go outside where the girl sees her guy tied up between two rigs - each facing a different direction - and they hop inside one of them. But all is okay because the cavalry has arrived.
A cop walks up to the tied up guy, looks at him, and instead of helping him out he decides to just stand there and point his gun at nowhere and nobody in particular. How could he not untie the guy? What purpose is leaving him there gonna accomplish? Oh, gotcha, if he untied him then the Hitcher wouldnt be able to step on the gas and tear the dude apart. Which is exactly what happens. Lame.
Finally the Hitcher is arrested and hes taken to a jail full of cops who have yet to be murdered. Notice I said "have yet." So instead of keeping the Hitcher there, they decide to move him to a different jail - which only tells the audience that something bad is gonna happen. So hes handcuffed, loaded into a police van, and hes accompanied by three heavily armed guards - one of which is sitting in the back staring the Hitcher in the face. And in a moment that may be the most mind numbing of all - the girl is loaded into a car and the car proceeds to follow the van - cuz apparently the victim always has to follow her attacker where ever he goes.
Once on the road, the Hitcher frees himself from the cuffs and kills all three guards in the van with him. Remember what I said about a cop car flipping when its driver is killed? Yep, the van flips too. Im no expert, but this just doesnt happen in real life.
During the van flippage, the car thats following gets disabled and the cop unable to defend himself. So the Hitcher walks up and kills him. And then, instead of killing the girl, he walks down the road and into the sunset. That is, until the girl walks up behind him and shoots him in the back with a rifle. And then in the head.

And that my friends, is the end.

This had potential to be a decent hunter-prey thriller, but it never even approached believe ability. I never felt suspense, or fear, or anything other than embarrassment for whomever wrote this piece of crap.
Seriously, its mind numbingly bad. Not in a "so bad its good" way like "Plan 9 From Outer Space", but in a so bad its bad way. If theres ever one movie you should avoid, its this one. Go rent "Catwoman" instead, you wont be disappointed. At least not any more than youd be by this one.

-- DBW --

Saturday, June 02, 2007

June 2nd

Happy Birthday Sunshine. :)

And another year gone... miss you Ma. :(

The happiest sad day of the year.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

T-Rex and Noah walk into a bar.....

Me again --

In my daily travels around the net I run into a thing or two that I find interesting, and today was no different.
I do my best to avoid religion discussion, even going so far as to postpone publishing a blog I had written about the Bible, but this one is going to come close to rubbing people the wrong way and to that I say... whatever. Today Im looking through the net and I see this: http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2621240720070526

Dinosaurs? On the Ark? Lets not even debate whether the Ark was real or not, for this discussion, lets say it was 100% legit... are you really gonna tell me that sitting on the bench next to a fluffy little bunny and Noah himself was T-Rex? Seriously, you gonna try and hand me that? And expect me not to laugh in your face?
And youre also gonna try and tell me that the Grand Canyon was formed in just a couple days instead of the time it actually took? Heck, according to them it didnt even take a week, that was just too long..... to form a gigantic hole in the Earth..... nope, it basically happened overnight.

Whatever.

Perhaps though, the scariest part of this story is the last two paragraphs: "A Gallup poll last year showed almost half of Americans believe that humans did not evolve but were created by God in their present form within the last 10,000 years." And "Three of 10 Republican presidential candidates said in a recent debate that they did not believe in evolution."

Half of America, including 3 presidential candidates, believe that a being that nobody has ever seen and whose existence is based on not even one single fact - no matter how small - just said "poof" one day and we all showed up. Wow. Just... wow.

Have your beliefs, I encourage you to, especially if they help you to lead a better life, but please, dont go handing me any of the crap that the people in Kentucky are trying to pull. Cuz really, honestly, I will laugh in your face.

-- DBW --

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Vacation 07

Happy day yall --

Well, my vacation is pretty much over and for anyone thats curious, I figured Id run it down day by day.

SUNDAY
Were up at 4 so we can leave at 5 and head to Disneyland which opens at 8. Theyre opening earlier cuz on Saturday they had the world premier of Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 and they closed the park at 5. So, lucky for us, we get a longer day.
After gas and snacks, were "officially" on the road at 5:30 and a mere hour later were practically pulling into the parking lot. Talk about making good time.
Its finally 8, the park opens, and our first stop is Space Mountain. We get right to the entrance and theres two guys standing there informing everyone that its closed. Closed? No way. Yes way. Damn. Ok, Plan B, lets go to... umm... the Matterhorn. Sure, why not.
So to the Matterhorn we go. Theres no line, we get right on, wave to the Abominable Snowman and were done. Were getting out of the sled and theres two more Disney guys standing at the exit: "Congratulations, you just won Dream Fastpasses in Disneys Year Of A Million Dreams!" Cool! Very cool!
What we actually received was two plastic Dream Fast Passes (DFP) on lanyards that we wore around our necks and they let us go on the rides whenever we wished without having to do the normal Fast Pass thing. Yeah, people were jealous.
I wont go ride by ride, but by lunch time we managed to do: Matterhorn, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Pirates Of The Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Splash Mountain, The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh, Indiana Jones, Jungle Cruise, Enchanted Tiki Room, got a front row seat to watch Mickey and The Disneyland Band in front of the castle, Its A Small World, Roger Rabbits Cartoon Spin, went to visit Mickey at his house and got to take a picture with him, went on the Monorail for the first time ever and got to sit with the driver, Autopia (DFP), and Space Mountain (DFP).
After lunch we did: Innoventions, Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters (DFP), Aladdins Oasis, got a great seat for Walt Disneys Parade Of Dreams, Star Tours, Indiana Jones (DFP), got an awesome seat for Remember... Dreams Come True Fireworks, Jungle Cruise, Space Mountain (FP), and Disney: The First 50 Magical Years.
We seriously kicked Disneylands butt. And it kinda looks like all we did was go from ride to ride, but it was a very relaxed day and we took our time with everything. It was great. Probably the best time I can remember having at Disneyland... excluding Christmas which is a totally different experience.
One quick story: Were sitting in the area where the statue of Walt and Micky is, right in front of the castle, waiting for the fireworks. Theres gotta be a couple hundred people with us, but its not cramped, just cozy. So were all sitting and waiting, and these two people come up and stand directly in front of everyone. Everyone is like WTF and they turn to everyone and go "Just so you know, this is not a sitting area, so youre all going to have to get up and (pointing to a girl on a blanket) thats not going to be allowed here, so all of you need to just stand up now unless you like looking at peoples asses." Whaaaaaaat? So the girl on the blanket says "I was just here the other night and sat in this same spot and nobody said anything to me." To which the people responded "In case you didnt know, we work here, and so we know the rules and what goes on, and this hasnt been a sitting area for a couple of years now, so you better get up before someone comes over and says something to you." Nobody moved, and they continued to stand directly in everyones way. The announcement comes on that the fireworks are about to start and since nobody came over to us to say anything, the two people had no choice but to sit their ample asses down while everyone else laughed at them. The one thing that surprised me was that for Disney cast members, they were pretty damn rude and acted all Holier than thou. Walt would not be pleased.
Also, while we were waiting for the fireworks to start, two couples, at different times, got engaged in front of the castle. :)
Oh yeah, one more thing... while were on Autopia, while trying to beep the horn that isnt there, Blanca managed to punch me in the face. Hard. Dont ask how, if you know her you already know the answer.

MONDAY
After a good nights sleep in a surprisingly decent "cheap" motel - I swear, it was better than a couple Vegas ones Ive stayed in - we were on our way to Universal Studios.
Theres nothing really "interesting" about our day here, but I do have to say that if you go here and decide not to get the all you can eat pass and all you can drink pass, youre dumb. Its $25 at the park or $20 online and you can eat as much as youd like from three specified restaurants, and all you can drink from anywhere. We ate at all three places and must have consumed about $100 worth of food each. Too bad Disneyland doesnt have that cuz lunch alone there was almost $100. Ok, maybe not that much, but it was close.
Also, we were at Fear Factor Live and one of the contestants got eliminated and they called his girlfriend on stage to talk to her about it and then he proposed. So that was three in two days. :)

TUESDAY
Today was the Dolphin Interaction Program at Sea World. We checked in at 10am, went through a safety course, got into our wetsuits, and headed into the water for about a half hours worth of playing with the dolphins. It was very cool and very cold, but worth it and I wanna do it again.
Quick story: There were these two women there that would... not... shut... up. From the moment we started our safety course they acted like they knew everything just because they did it a long time ago. "Do we still get to swim with the dolphins?" "No, thats been moved to our Trainer For A Day Program." "Are you sure because when we did it a while ago we got to swim with them?" "Yes, Im sure, we used to do it here, but its been moved." "Well that sucks and that was the only reason to take this thing and if we knew it wasnt here we wouldnt have taken it again."
Then we all went to go get into our wetsuits and we couldnt get into the water until we were all ready, but there was one little boy who was scared and didnt wanna get into his suit, and everyone was okay with it and understood cuz he was a little kid... well, everyone except for the two women. "Are we ever going to get into the water? Weve been waiting for a very long time now? I have three kids that are screaming for me and if I knew it was going to take this long I never would have done it! Its been a hour, damn, this is taking forever! Cant we just get in there already?"
Yes, we were waiting a bit, but it was not even close to an hour, maybe... maybe... 10 minutes, 15 at most. Either way, not long enough for them to go on and on and on about it. And, despite being told no by the first trainer they asked, they asked four others if they could swim with the dolphins. They were so rude, so disrespectful, so... so... I just wanted to go up to them and slap em upside the head. Everyone was getting frustrated with them and they were pissing everyone off, and they were "this close" to ruining it for everyone. I swear, there are people in this world that only think about themselves and dont care if their actions cause others discomfort. I hate them.

WEDNESDAY
Today we went to the Wild Animal Park to take their Deluxe Photo Caravan tour. It was a 3 hour and 45 minute safari through the animal enclosures and despite getting a very late start, we managed to get there just in time to climb aboard our truck. I wont go animal by animal, but the highlights were getting to feed giraffes - including the parks star, Ivan - and then getting to feed a rhino - the only place in the entire world that lets you do this. Theres nothing like having an Indian rhino eat your apple carrying hand. I know Ive said it many times already, but this was cool. And yeah, I wanna go do it again.
Quick story, but skip to the next day if you dont wanna be grossed out. Were on the truck, driving through the enclosures, and Blanca says shes starting to feel a little sick and she doesnt feel like eating anything. No big deal. Well, we get to take a break and the tour guides hand out drinks and snacks and despite feeling sick, she manages to devour her bag of chips and some of my pretzels. She never listens, not even to herself. So we get back on the truck to head back to the animals and Blanca says "Im gonna throw up." Theres nowhere for us to go, the truck cant stop so she can get off cuz theres literally animals all around us, and were frantically trying to find a solution. So there were these paper cups that were on the truck for us to get water with and she tells me to grab her one... and when she thinks nobody is looking... bleh! right into the cup. How exactly do you spell the vomit noise? Anywho, she continued to do this until the cup was full. And were on a bumpy truck, and its "this close" to spilling, and she still wants to feed the animals... so guess whos stuck holding it? Yep, that would be me. "Pookie, would you like me to hold your cup of vomit while you feed the giraffe?" Things Ill do for the girl. :)

THURSDAY
We had a day off cuz Blanca had an appointment with the government and you cant really tell them no. But it was a very good appointment and was the last one she had to do and everything is good now. So Im totally ok with missing out on the Zoo so she could get this taken care of.

FRIDAY
Today was Legoland. I know, I know, its just for kids, but we wanted to go cuz weve never been. And ya know what, youre right, its pretty much just for kids. There was plenty of adults there, even by themselves, but for the most part, each adult had like nine kids with them.
The best part of Legoland has to be Miniland. Seven different cities, recreated in miniature, with Legos. You could get lost here just looking at all the details and trying to find everything thing they snuck in. Like a ninja breaking into someones house, and I guarantee you that Im one of the very very few to have ever found him.
But yeah, if you have the extra money and a free day, give it a look, otherwise, dont go unless you have kids that are tall enough to get on the rides cuz if theyre not, then its a waste fo time for everyone.

So yeah, that was my vacation. Feel free to check out the pictures scattered throughout my Flickr page, theyre not all there yet, but Ill get to em. Eventually.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

My hero

Just dropping in for a quickie.

So, I return home from my Disneyland / Universal Studios trip and see that Jimmy Carter - our 39th President, author, volunteer for Habitat For Humanity, 2002 Nobel Peace Prize winner, etc etc etc, that Jimmy Carter - came out and verbally bitch slapped President Bush calling his administration... "the worst in history."

Hell yeah!!!

He went on...

"The overt reversal of America's basic values as expressed by previous administrations, including those of George H.W. Bush and Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon and others, has been the most disturbing to me."
"We now have endorsed the concept of pre-emptive war where we go to war with another nation militarily, even though our own security is not directly threatened, if we want to change the regime there or if we fear that some time in the future our security might be endangered, but that's been a radical departure from all previous administration policies."
He also said Bush "abandoned or directly refuted" every negotiated nuclear arms agreement, as well as environmental efforts by other Presidents.
"The policy from the White House has been to allocate funds to religious institutions, even those that channel those funds exclusively to their own particular group of believers in a particular religion. As a traditional Baptist, I've always believed in separation of church and state and honored that premise when I was president, and so have all other presidents, I might say, except this one."

And about Britains support, specifically for the Iraq war, he said "I think the almost undeviating support by Great Britain for the ill-advised policies of President Bush in Iraq have been a major tragedy for the world."
And for Tony Blairs support of Bush he said he was "Abominable. Loyal blind. Apparently subservient."

That ol' peanut farmer gots some nuts on him, huh?

Aight, Ill write more when my vacation wraps up, and if you frequent my pictures, Ill have a bunch of new ones there soon too.

Until next time...

-- DBW --

(Update 1: After writing my peanut joke, I see that Steven Colbert of The Colbert Report "stole" it. Not word for word, but he did. What the heck man... what the heck?!)
(Update 2: Sadly, Mr Carter has backed off of the "worst in history" comment by saying it was "careless or misinterpreted." I guess his nuts are shrinking. Steal that one Stevie boy, steal that one.)

Friday, May 04, 2007

The American Way

Aloha --

Know what I hate? Barry Bonds? Yeah, him, and his time is coming again, and way too soon. But no, something else.

The President? Ok, ok, yeah, him too - and I just might write something a bit later about that one, but thats not what this is about either.

No, what I hate, and its really annoying me, is the way movie studios continue to release their dvds. The practice of unleashing the initial version of "Movie" in January. Then in March releasing "Movie: The Expanded Edition" in March. Then in May you get "Movie: The Super Duper Ultimate You Really Gotta Buy This One Edition." And then just in time for Christmas, youre blessed with "Movie: The Last One Was Okay, But This One Is Even More Super Duper And If You Dont Buy It You Suck Edition."

I have a decently sized movie collection. Not enormous, but not bad. As I sit here looking at it, its pretty difficult to find a movie I own that hasnt had multiple editions released after I bought it. Whats worse is that these "expanded editions" that come out usually consist of nothing more than "8 EXTRA MINUTES!!!" or "THE ENDING YOU DIDNT SEE IN THEATERS... OR ON THE DVD YOU ALREADY HAVE!!!" Stuff that 1) didnt make it into the theatrical release for a reason and 2) should have been included on the first edition of the dvd in the first place.
Now, dont get me wrong, Im not knocking the extras that are included on the movies I buy, in fact, I seek out the extras, I love the extras, and there are movies I own in which Ive only watched the extras and nothing else. Its just I cant justify, in any way, the need to buy numerous editions of a movie, in the same year, barely months apart, at $25 a pop, for the sake of mere minutes of deleted scenes. Was "Spiderman 2.1" really necessary just to see the scene where Peter was playing with "Little Spidey" while looking at pictures of Supergirl? Dont think so.
But its the American way I suppose. To squeeze as much money out of people as possible while giving them as little as you can in return.

Lucky for me, I dont have any money. :) Umm... I mean :(

-- DBW --

Friday, April 27, 2007

Drippy

Hola --

Im sick. Well, I was. Or still am. Not really sure. But earlier this week I was sicker than I am today and with sickness comes a runny nose. And thats what this is about.
So there I am, sitting at Burger King, waiting for my food, when my nose starts to run and I realize I need to take care of it. So I head to the restroom and... theres no paper towels. Not only that, but there no mirror either. Hows a boy supposed to stop a leaking nose with no equipment?
And its not just Burger King either. Its getting to be that more and more fast food places have replaced towels with air dryers - good for the environment, but sometimes you just need a towel, ya know. And theyve decided that mirrors arent really required either. So if you just wanna comb your hair, you gotta bend down and try and get a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the dryer. Not really dignified.
So, my plea to all of you fast food types out there that might read this, please, for me, reinstall mirrors and towels, Id appreciate it.

--DBW --

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Gooey

Im currently in yet another fight with some kind of cold or flu and once again the same question pops into my head.....

Why does the human body have the inability to digest - or even swallow - mucus?

Think about all the things youve attempted to swallow over the span of your life - unless it was a living animal - has any of them ever fought to not be swallowed? Once you get some mucus in the back of your throat, you can swallow, and swallow, and nothing will happen. You can eat some food to help it along, or drink something to encourage its journey, but nothing will force in downwards. Its like Satan waiting for entrance at the gates of Heaven... it just wont pass. And in the end, you end up coughing it out in huge greenish brown globs.

Whatever. Id go on some more about this, but I gotta go dislodge something from my throat.

Til next time.....

-- DBW --

Thursday, April 19, 2007

9 days o' fun

Yall --

Today. Whats so special about Today? Well, one month from three days from now and Ill officially be on vacation. Woohoo!!!
Yeah, yeah, for some of you nitpickers out there, I guess its also fair to say that one month from yesterday at 12:45pm is when my vacation officially starts. And for you other nitpickers, its also equally right to say that one month from this tomorrow is when it starts. Damn! Cant you just give me a break on this? Does it always have to end up in an argument about whos right? Cheeses!

So, one month from today - pick whichever date works for you - Ill officially be on vacation. Woohoo!!! And whats a boy and his girl to do on their vacation? Simple answer... alot.

Friday, May 18th - Clock out from work at 12:45pm. Vacation!
Saturday, May 19th - Possibly kayaking in the Pacific off of La Jolla
Sunday, May 20th - Disneyland
Monday, May 21st - Universal Studios
Tuesday, May 22nd - The San Diego Zoo
Wednesday, May 23rd - San Diego Wild Animal Park (taking a 4 hour deluxe photo caravan)
Thursday, May 24th - Sea World (swimming with the dolphins)
Friday, May 25th - Legoland
Saturday, May 26th - Possibly kayaking in the Pacific off of La Jolla
Sunday, May 27th - Resting for work the next day

Ya see? Were gonna be pretty busy doing lots of fun stuff. Hmm... now that I think about it, we may need to take a vacation after our vacation.

-- DBW --

Friday, April 13, 2007

His will be damned

Hola my peeps --

This post was created with many parents. Its an idea I had for quite awhile, add some conversations Ive had with different people, throw in some this and some that, and top off with a show on DiscoveryHD called "Last Maneater" that I was watching a couple minutes ago when the thought popped into my head yet again.
Before we get to it, I suppose I should preface this by saying that this has nothing really to do with my feelings about religion. Im not the most religious person, but Im not anti-God either. Whatever you believe in is up to you, so hopefully this post isnt viewed as a knock in any way. If it is, remember, its my blog, so youll just have to live with it.

Back to the story.

"Last Maneater" was about the people in Eastern India who face the constant threat of attack from Bengal tigers that seem to be more aggressive than tigers found anywhere else. Before going into the jungles, these people would gather and pray to their God for protection, fearing that to not do this would ensure an attack. And thats where the thought popped back into my head.

Why do people pray?

Lets continue to use these people for my example. If they pray and dont get attacked, then "God protected them." If they dont pray and do get attacked, then it was obviously "Gods will." And lets suppose they pray and unfortunately get attacked anyway, why was that? Well, again, it had to be "Gods will" and nothing to do with a hungry tiger after the deer carcase that these people were carrying back to their village to feed their family.
So do you see the issue? If you believe its "Gods will" regardless, then your prayer means nothing. You have an equal chance of getting attacked - or winning the lottery - whether you pray or not. So while it may make you feel better, or may instill in you the notion that God is on your side and the odds are now in your favor, the truth is that it makes no difference either way. Call it your "Gods will" or my "thats just the way things are."
And what about this... if I should pray for something that directly opposes what you pray for... is God forced to choose, does he have a preference, or does he just flip a coin? Best of three wins a million bucks.
I realize that people turn to religion, use religion, have religion in their lives so that they can be comforted or have a sense of... whatever they need to have a sense of, and I have no issues with that, but all of that aside, I cant help but think that prayer is totally pointless.
And regardless of the outcome, to say "it was Gods will" is, to be honest, a lame substitute for saying "whatever happens happens."

I know, I know, that has all been an exercise in blasphemy, right? Oh well, I guess its a good thing I havent posted my full bible rant. Yet. Perhaps the only reason I have yet to do so... has been Gods will.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Hmm.....

Just a quick question...

Does anyone else besides me find it a bit... odd... that last night Major League Baseball held a game called "The Civil Rights Game" featuring the Cardinals and a team called the Indians? I guess the only thing that would have made it worse was if it was a football game with the Redskins.

Maybe I just think too much...

-- DBW --

Triple Espresso

See... told ya Id be back.

Last night Blanca and I went to go see Triple Espresso - a Christmas gift from Justin and Cinthya - it was her first time seeing it, and my second time. It was also the second time the box office came "this close" to screwing me over. Not a good record for them.
The first time I went - it was roughly 7 or 8 years ago, and if I wasnt so lazy Id get up right now and find out the exact date - I went to the box office and asked for tickets for a specific date, well pick a random date and say Saturday the 10th. So I say, "Can I have two tickets for Saturday the 10th" and the guy goes "No problem, let me see what we have." A minute or two later he looks away from the computer and says "We have great seats available, just gimme a second to print them up for you." A minute or two later I hand over my $100 and he hands me 2 tickets..... for Saturday the 17th.
I politely point out his error and he looks me in the eye and says "Im sorry, theres nothing I can do, theres no refunds or exchanges." He actually said that to me? Yep. So again I point out that I asked for the 10th and was given the 17th. "Im sorry, theres no refunds or exchanges." The third time I pointed out his error I wasnt so polite and basically told him that he screwed up and I wasnt leaving until I had the correct tickets in my hand. He stares at me with a look that was like "He actually said that to me?" Yep.
He grunts something, walks over to the phone, calls someone - who I can only assume is either the man behind the curtain or some Ticketmaster Godfather because of the way they always treat him with awe, respect, and fear any time he needs to be called.
The phone goes back down, the guy walks back over to me, and says "He says I can make an exception for you." Or goody, "for me." He goes back to the computer, types some stuff in, shakes his head, and informs me of the bad news. "Im sorry, but on the date you asked for were having a party and we practically have no tickets left. Umm... I can turn some water into wine and squeeze you in somewhere." Ok, he didnt say the wine thing, but he was acting like he was gonna work some kind of miracle. "For me." So he finally says "The only tickets I have are in the very back row, do you want them?" The theater is very very small, only has nine rows, so the very back row is still really close to the stage. I didnt know that at the time, and he was making it sound like I was going to be in the next city, but I agreed anyway.
The 10th comes around and Briana and I get to the theater and find out seats, center of row 9. By the time the show starts, theres nobody in rows 6, 7, or 8. Not a single person. And rows 4 and 5 are about half full. And rows 1, 2, and 3 are mostly full. So much for the guy working a miracle and squeezing us in as a favor "for me" by the approval of the Godfather.

Jump ahead to last week. Ha. That sounds funny... like "Back To The Future." Anywho...

Last week Blanca and I decided that Saturday the 31st would be a good day to use the gift certificates we got for Christmas, so I called the box office and talked to a very nice guy who assured me, by the end of the phone call, wed have awesome seats. Cool.
Yesterday we go eat dinner, then head to the theater, and go to the box office to pick up the tickets. One little problem. We dont have any.
The guy asks me my name, I tell him, he says "Are you sure?" Uhh... yeah, pretty sure thats it. "Ok, Ill trust you, but the thing is, we have no tickets for you." I said nothing, just stared at him. He does more checking, first in a little box, then a big folder, then a computer. Yep, nothing. He picks up another folder, scans through it until he finds the number to our gift certificates, and it shows that Justin had bought them, but that I hadnt cashed them in yet. Not good.
So he asks me to spell my name, and I do, and he goes "That sounds very familiar, did you call these in?" Yes. "Did you talk to a guy?" Yes. "That was me. I wonder why I didnt enter your information." Me too. "Good news is that I can get you MUCH better seats that I would have been able to get you last week." Another miracle. I kinda wanted to say, "Dude, theres only nine rows, how much better could you actually get me?" But I smiled, said thanks, cuz afterall, he was doing it... "for me." And he didnt even have to call the Godfather to make it happen.
We ended up with center of the 5th row and had a very fun time. But maybe its a good thing that this is their last season cuz I dont know if I wanna give them the opportunity to go three for three with me.

Til next time...

-- DBW --

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Your pile stinks

Sup --

Wow. I almost went a whole calendar month without posting anything. Sorry. So what do I have for you today? Well, this past week at work, in conversations with friends, I was presented with a few situations where I had to choose between accepting someones - unintentional? - pile of horse poo, or standing up for what I knew to be the truth and risking becoming the jerk that thinks he knows it all.

Case number 1
Friend of mine and I were talking about Tommy "The Duke" Morrison. Hes the boxer who had tested positive for AIDS back in 1996 and was banned from ever boxing again. Hes recently come out of banishment to fight again because every test hes taken since then has come back negative and its now being said that the first test was a false positive and that hes never had HIV to begin with.
I had mentioned that to my friend who said that I was wrong and that hes still HIV positive but doesnt have AIDS and that the only reason hes boxing again is because he sued to be allowed back in the ring.
Im sure he believed that to be true, but hes on the thick minded side and after a couple tries trying to get him to see it my way I realized that it was useless, so instead of continuing to chip away at the brick wall until I "won" the argument, I decided to just say "I dont know man" and leave it at that.
However, once I got home I went to ESPN.com to check if there was a story on this and of course there was so I sent him a link to it. I feel a bit bad cuz "my" facts now get in the way of "his" good story, but I saw no other option and it beat standing there with him at work playing tug of war with the truth.

Case 2
One of the boss type people at work just found out from another boss type person that I was fairly well educated on the subject of wrestling. The sad truth is that I probably know more than both of them, even though they consider themselves to be experts.
So my boss type friend asked me if I knew about how this one wrestler died and I simply said heart attack to which he responded with, "Yeah, but do you know what he was doing when he had the heart attack?" I figured he was going to say something about him being "with" a girl at the time so I just said "How?" and he told me a tale about something much more scandalous and illegal.
So there I was, knowing full well that his story was wrong, but do I stand there and try to enlighten him, or do I smile, accept his story, and move on? I moved on. I feel bad though. Not for my friend who actually believed that obvious internet myth, but for the wrestler whos last minutes on earth are now believed, by some, to have consisted of some messed up junk.

Those were just two examples of the half dozen or so I had this week. So what would you do? How long would you continue to discuss a "fact" - not an opinion - before you just gave up and walked away? Not discussing it long enough could give the impression that youre a person who believes anything, but too long and you become Mr Know It All. Its a fine line I must continue to walk... at least until people become as smart as I am. :)

I suppose thats it for today. Perhaps Ill see yall next month.

-- DBW --

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Moo

On the way back from Arizona, my friend ran over a cow. No, really. Thats not some punchline to some joke, it happened. A cow. She ran over a cow. I feel really bad for the cow, but this has got to be the most ridiculous story I heard all year.

Thats all, just had to share.

-- DBW --

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The "mine" of "Menstealia"

Despise. Cant stand. Which is worse?

I think despise is a much stronger word, as in, I despise Barry Bonds. I cant stand Carlos Mencia. Hes close to Bonds level, but I seriously doubt anyone else will ever reach that point. Still, if he were wiped from the Earth, I wouldnt care. Honestly, I dont know if I would even notice.
The very first time I saw Carlos "the crazy Mexican" Mencia - real name Ned "the half German half Honduran" Holness - I was flipping through the tv late one night and saw some show on Comedy Central with some guy telling racial jokes. Turns out it was Carlos and the show was "Mind of Mencia." It was almost over, I had nothing better to do, so I sat and watched. When it ended I recall sitting there wondering what I had just seen. The comedian was obnoxious, the jokes were stale - even if it was the first time I had heard them - and the whole thing was in no way funny. And at the end he started going off on some incoherent ramble about how everyone should "just get along." Truthfully, I laughed harder when I heard Rodney King say it the first time. And I guess that was the start of the problem... little did I know that him ripping off Rodney wasnt the first, last, or only time hes stolen from somebody.
Since that show Ive seen him rise to even greater fame. And I have no idea why. I even have friends that practically worship him as a God. Seriously. If there was a shrine to the guy, theyd be sacrificing their kids on its altar. I said seriously, right? And the majority of these friends, actually, probably all of them, are Mexican. Real Mexican, not the fake "Carlos" kind. I wonder of that means anything.

Most of you know Joe Rogan as being the host of Fear Factor. Im sure very few of you know hes also a comedian. Until about a year or so ago, I was one of the people that had no clue, but it turns out the guy has been performing on stage for almost half my life. Whoda thunk it?
Ive never seen Joe perform a full set, either live or on tv, but I have heard bits and pieces and hes surprisingly funny. Surprising because all I had ever known of him was seeing him trying to convince people to eat horse penis or hosting the second coming of "The Man Show" which, sorry Joe, I found myself unable to watch.

So in my left hand you have Joe who I find funny and in my right you have "Carlos" who I cant stand. Guess which hand I wipe my ass with.

Anywho, February 10th, 2007 Joe Rogan was at the Comedy Store in Hollywood and he had just introduced the next comedian, and Joe brings up the fact that this guy works for, his words, "Carlos Menstealia."
Why? Well, over the years, theres been numerous comedians, Joe being the most vocal, accusing "Carlos" of stealing material from them and thus creating the whole "Carlos Mencia" character, getting his own tv show, and becoming fairly rich... off of their stuff. And its not just their word against his, theres also been an ever growing pile of audio and video evidence to support their claims. So, simply put, "Carlos" is a thief and Joe was pissed and not gonna take it anymore.
So the other night, Joe introduces the next guy, leaves the stage, and then "Carlos" rushes it and grabs the mic and starts calling Joe out saying he doesnt have the balls to say it to his face. Unfortunately for "Carlos" Joe turned around and got back on stage. It was high noon, the gunslingers were in the street facing each other, and when they heard "Draw!" Joe unholstered his gun and "Carlos".................................... forgot to bring one: http://youtube.com/watch?v=5gVYfDCgYxk

If you watched the video, just know that if I didnt hate "Carlos" Id almost feel bad for him. Almost. The boy just got tore up, on stage, in public, with cameras rolling, and now hundreds... no thousands... no MILLIONS of people have since seen his humiliation, and have seen him for what he really is.
So whats the aftermath of all this? "Carlos" got pulled from his comedy club bookings, his show got cancelled, and he fled to Germany to live the rest of his life as Ned. Right? Umm... not quite. What really happened is that The Comedy Store told Joe to "take a break" or in other words, dont come back. And Joe got dumped by his agent... the same agent that represents "Carlos". Oh, and the videos of what happened keep getting pulled from YouTube due to "Carlos" claiming copyright infringement or something... and it wasnt even his video.
So yes, thats how it works in the real world of Hollywood: the bad guy gets away with murder/stealing/fraud/steroids/whatever and the victims get the shaft, again, from the people that should be trying to prevent such things from happening in the first place.

Dee dee dee: Websters unofficial unreal dictionary (third edition) defines it as "A phrase used to denounce the actions of people considered to be stupid. It doesn’t refer to people “who were born retarded,” but rather people “who were born, and are now retarded.” Like half-German, half-Honduran, fake-Mexicans, who steal other peoples material and refuse to admit to it even in the face of unquestionable proof. See "Carlos Mencia."

So to you Ned I say this... Dee dee dee.

Aight yo, thats my beef for today. So until next time...

-- DBW --

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Heartache

Yall --

Being Valentines Day and all, I figured this would be a perfect time to write about my heart troubles. Too bad its medical and not emotional.
Ive always had issues with my heart/chest. When I was a kid I had a heart murmur, but it apparently went away. And now, as an adult, I have continual chest pains. Not the type that causes difficulty breathing, but the kind that gives me pause and makes me wonder whats going on. And yeah, its scary.
A few years ago Id describe them as very painful - like a pulled muscle - but occurring with great time lapses between episodes. Today, Id describe them as an annoyance, but happening with less time between them - perhaps once every other day, maybe once every three days.
Considering that I have had these for what amounts to forever, Im not in too great of a rush to get it checked out. However, considering my diet and my age, I should know better and at least go see whats up. Which brings up one other valid point to not going to the doctor... to paraphrase Jesse Ventura in "Predator"... "I aint got time to be sick."
Going to the doctor, and finding out that I need to be fixed, would require time off from work and a loss of income, which I cant afford. Literally. And I do realize the flip side to that, not going to the doctor and having a heart attack and dying would cause a permanent loss of income. Broke if I do, dead if I dont.
So for now, my solution has been to alter my diet. I no longer consume huge quantities of food. I still have the ability to, I still have the hunger to, I just control myself. My hope is that by doing this my "annoyances" will cease and Ill get back to feeling normal again. Well, normal for me anyway.

The timing is odd, but its time for me to end this and go get some food.

Hopefully Ill be here sometime in the future to write something else. If not... ?

-- DBW --

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Disney

Me again --

First, let me say that I love Disney, I really do. Honest. I grew a Disney kid and I know far too much about the company, its movies, its parks, and the man himself for my own good. However, Im not so much into them that I cant call BS when I see it. Specifically, what appears to be Disneys inability to come up with original plots for their movies.
Im going to describe two movies I watched recently, and its going to be your job to tell me which movie is which. Simple, huh? Ok, lets see.....

1) Hot shot attempts to make his way to Hollywood where he hopes to become a bigger shot in his field, on the way he misses his exit and ends up in a small town where hes forced to stay an extended period of time before he can leave again and fears missing out on his big break. While hes there he meets and falls for a country gal and she shows him how life could be if he stayed there instead of going to Hollywood. Ultimately he ends up going anyway, finds out its not all its cracked up to be, and returns to the small town to be with the girl and live happily ever after.

2) A group of animals - including a lion, a giraffe, a hippo, and penguins - live at a New York zoo where one of them wishes to leave the caged confines and travel to far away places to see how real animals live. He escapes by getting into a container and placed on a boat. The rest of the animals follow after him. They all arrive on an island populated by a group of animals that sing and dance in choreographed routines to a catchy tune. The group disagrees amongst themselves, and eventually the lion is forced to make a stand against the bad animals, thus saving his friends and making everything right.

Figure em out? If you guessed "Cars" and "The Wild" then youre right. And youre also wrong. The first movie I described is also "Doc Hollywood" and the second movie is also "Madagascar." What? How? Huh?
See, thats my issue - Disney took the plot from two movies, changed very little, and made two brand new movies out of it. Theres no way you can watch "Cars" and not think youre watching an animated "Doc Hollywood." And theres no way you can watch "The Wild" and not think youre watching a ripoff of "Madagascar." Theres no originality.

Theres also the little known fact that such beloved Disney characters like Winnie The Pooh and his pals, Pinocchio, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast... and on and on... werent even created by Disney. They just took the characters, changed a thing here and there, and viola... instant Disney classic.

And dont even get me started on "Kimba" and "The Lion King." Actually, just go HERE and read it for yourself.

Ive written too much tonight. Im hungry. So I bid you adieu.

-- DBW --

24

Yall --

Sunday night, Im sick and should be sleeping, but cuz my stomach was killing me I couldnt get to sleep. Lucky(?) for me, "24" was starting their new season with a two-part two hour thing. I had never seen a single episode, so I figured Id give it a shot. If it didnt interest me, hopefully it would at least help put me to sleep.
Im sure most of you have watched "24" at least once, but in case you dont even know the concept heres a very very brief explanation. Main character works for the government, and each season consists of 24 one hour episodes that take place in real time - so each season is one day.
In theory, this is pretty cool and a unique television concept, but after watching the two part season opener, Ive come to the conclusion that this is the most ridiculously implausible thing in the history of television. Ever. And this coming from a guy who watches wrestling. So, heres a summary of the show, with the times as theyre shown on screen.

Episode 1 takes place between 6am and 7am.

The good guy arrives on a plane after being released from a Chinese prison camp. Hes then taken to a hanger and debriefed by two government people (a process thats not normally quick). He then showers, shaves, cuts his hair, changes clothes, and does the rest of the cleaning up stuff.

13 minutes have passed!

As the 30 minute mark hits, the good guy is handcuffed to a grate in preparation to be handed over to the bad guy - whos pretending to be a good guy - as a trade for the bad guy giving up the whereabouts of whom the government believes to be the bad guy. Got that?

At the 45 minute mark, the bad guy takes the good guy and brings him back to his hideout.

At the 52 minute mark, the bad guy confesses the truth - that hes the real bad guy - to the good guy. The bad guy then begins torturing the good guy. The White House sends two helicopters to blow up who they think is the bad guy.

By the 59 minute mark, the good guy has killed a man, escaped torture, and hid in a sewer. The bad guys had noticed he was gone and gave chase... into an air duct.

Episode 2 takes place between 7am and 8am.

At the 00 mark, the bad guys are well into the sewer in search of the good guy - thus proving the age old adage that the quickest way to the sewer is through an air duct.

By 08, the good guy has escaped the bad buys... again, crawled to the sewer exit, found a car, broke into it, found a cell phone, called some security agency and had a conversation, got transferred to the President, had a debate, talked to the security agency again, had another conversation, used the cell phones gps to locate the presumed bad guy, hotwired the car, waited for the automatic gate to open, and drove away.

8 minutes passed!

By the 15 minute mark, the good guy had driven to the presumed bad guys house, ambushed a guard, took his gun, ambushed another guard, burst into the house, had a debate at gunpoint with several men, escaped with the presumed bad guy just in time cuz those helicopters finally got there and blew the house up.

7 minutes had passed!

At the 31 minute mark, the good guy and presumed bad guy make it to another house with one of the bad guys for "questioning" - it lasts 6 minutes

At the 50 minute mark, the good guy and presumed bad guy are tracking a suicide bomber and his handler through the streets and down into the subway. The good guy boards the subway with the bomber while the presumed bad guy heads back up top to chase the handler through the streets in a car. The good guy makes his way through the subway car, stops to talk to the ticket man, and continues to head toward the bomber. The bomber gets suspicious and flips the switch to blow himself and the train up, lucky for the passengers the good guy was able to kick the bomber through locked doors and out of the subway car just before he exploded. The good guy presses the emergency stop button on the subway and then exits through the now existent hole in the rear of the train. The good guy manages to find an exit in the tunnel, climbs to the surface, calls the presumed bad guy, has a conversation, and makes plans to meet up somewhere.

9 minutes have passed!!!

Show ends.

Were you paying attention to the times? From the time the good guy is retrieved by the bad guy until the time he escapes the subway tunnel, hes been tortured, escaped twice, killed a guy, disabled two others, dodged a missile strike by two military helicopters, questioned a suspect, tracked two terrorists through city streets, attacked a suicide bomber, and saved a subway and its passengers from explosion. All of this took 68 minutes. 68 minutes! How many of you can get ready for work in 68 minutes?
Seriously, this is the most idiotic show Ive ever watched. If they got rid of the time line, then I can actually watch it and enjoy it cuz it was pretty action packed and exciting. But man, once you start telling me that it took me longer to write about what happened than for it to actually happen... yeah, you lost me. Sorry.

Aight yo, thats my beef with tv. Next, we go to the movies. So until then...

-- DBW --

Saturday, January 13, 2007

3

Three years today. Three crazy years. And 99 insane years left to go.

A VERY happy day to us Sunshine. Love you. :)

Sick and tired

You look like crap.

Are you tired? You look tired.

Are you ok? You dont look so good.

Those are just some of the comments I received this past week at work. And I probably deserved every one of them.
I cant really explain why though. I have my theories... well, a main theory anyway. For the first month or so after Christmas, my workload increases to unheard of proportions. Target, as a company, tries to recover from Christmas as quickly as they can, and while all the different sections of the store each have multiple and numerous people to get through this, I have one. Me.
I have nobody to fall back on. I have no help given to me. I have no help even offered to me. In fact, two weeks before Christmas I emailed every single management person in the store and told them that as soon as Christmas was over I would need ALOT of help. Not one of them even responded to my email.
So, my theory is that the workload and the stress has taken a physical and mental toll on me. A toll that is apparently visible to others.
Yesterday was probably the worst. No, yesterday WAS the worst. I dont really have any way to accurately describe what I was feeling cuz I never felt anything like this before. If I had to guess, Id say that it felt like I was on something. My body moved on its own, my thoughts werent sharp, I felt like I wanted to throw up, I felt like I wanted to pass out, and I felt like my heart was going to explode cuz it wouldnt stop beating so fast. To be honest, it was kind of scary.

This morning, I woke up at 11. For me, thats insane. I suppose its also my bodys way of telling me I needed to slow down for a minute. Ill listen. Until Monday.

-- DBW --