Greetings yall --
Well, if you know me personally, or if youve been reading any of my 37 blogs, and if youve been watching the sports news recently, you knew this was coming.
I HATE Barry Bonds.
In case you havent heard, Mr "I aint ever failed a drug test" failed a drug test. I know, youre shocked, huh? Me too. It apparently happened last year and were just hearing about it now because the results were supposed to be keep under wraps due to some agreement between MLB and MLBPA. Secrets dont stay secrets forever.
Even after he failed the test, he still bragged how he was always clean and nobody had anything on him. Balls. Thats what that takes. Big hairy balls.
But its all ok cuz in reality, he didnt really take drugs, it was an accident or something. Though he has since taken back this statement, he originally claimed that he took whatever he took from the locker of teammate Mark Sweeney. So it was Marks drugs not his. And he just wanted to make it clear the drugs belonged to MARK SWEENEY and not barry bonds. In effect, what hes also saying is that hes a theif who goes around popping any and all pill looking substances no matter what they are or where he finds them, even if he has to steal them from other peoples lockers. Gotcha.
"I never knowingly took drugs just like I never knowingly took steroids. Im clean man, clean I say. Anybody got some Cheetos?"
So now hes been caught lying about taking drugs. He "never took them" yet he did. So, should we believe him when he says "Ive never taken steroids" too? We should give him the benefit of the doubt considering that hes built up so much goodwill over the years, huh? Ok, Barry, we believe ya. We know, you were just looking for more "flax seed oil", right? Right.
Oh, speaking of "over the years" heres some random Barryisms just for fun.
- When the Giants signed Bonds to what was then the richest contract in baseball history, they also hired his father as hitting coach. Barry told friends, "He wouldn't have his job if it wasn't for me."
- As the elder Bonds battled cancer, Barry complained to friends about his dad "sitting on his ass."
- In a Playboy interview, Bonds compared his wife to toilet paper, explaining that he told her, "Toilet paper just sits there and waits . . . just like you."
- In an interview with the New York Times Magazine, Bonds said, "My grandmother wants me to get her some wheelchair that drives like a car. Why do I need to get her some wheelchair when she's gonna die anyway?"
Class act, eh?
Just... ya know... kill him now. Please. Seriously. Why does this guy continue to walk around instead of being expunged from the Earth?
Until the next time...
-- DBW --
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
A Year In My Life: Summary
Happy New Year yall --
Two thousand and seven has come, two thousand and six is gone, and my "Year In My Life" experiment is officially complete as of today. Because I know how eagerly you awaited the results, I shall condense everything for your reading pleasure.
I saw 88 movies I rented 81 of them, went to see the other 7, and out of all of them, I now own 5. Conclusion: Im actually kind of surprised that I watched a movie about once every 4 days. I never would have guessed that.
I read 1 book and started another. Conclusion: For someone that considers himself a reader, I sure didnt do much of it.
I went out to have fun - 99% of the time with Blanca - 48 times. 20 times we went to an amusement park with Sea World being the most with 8. We went to 8 plays. And 5 times we left San Diego county including once to another state and once to another country. Conclusion: With an average of going out and doing something about once a week, Id say we did pretty good considering the fact that our "free time" became extremely rare this year.
I went to 26 different restaurants for a total of 51 different times. And 21 of those times were buffets. Conclusion: Again, once a week, and almost half of the time we go to a restaurant to eat, its to a buffet, so either we want our moneys worth, or we like food too much.
I ate at 33 different fast food places for a total of 306 times. The one place we frequented the most was Subway and we went there 70 times. Conclusion: WOW! I eat WAY too much fast food. But, if theres a positive - and thats a BIG if - at least I try to eat as healthy as possible by going to places like Subway or eating veggie meals when theyre available. Still, thats way too much.
So there ya have it. A very simplified account of everything that was me for 2006. In case youre curious, no, I wont be doing the same thing this year too. Well, thats sort of true. I wont be keeping track of my food intake, just the fun stuff. :)
And with that... have a safe and exciting 2007 and try and stay away from fast food.
-- DBW --
Two thousand and seven has come, two thousand and six is gone, and my "Year In My Life" experiment is officially complete as of today. Because I know how eagerly you awaited the results, I shall condense everything for your reading pleasure.
I saw 88 movies I rented 81 of them, went to see the other 7, and out of all of them, I now own 5. Conclusion: Im actually kind of surprised that I watched a movie about once every 4 days. I never would have guessed that.
I read 1 book and started another. Conclusion: For someone that considers himself a reader, I sure didnt do much of it.
I went out to have fun - 99% of the time with Blanca - 48 times. 20 times we went to an amusement park with Sea World being the most with 8. We went to 8 plays. And 5 times we left San Diego county including once to another state and once to another country. Conclusion: With an average of going out and doing something about once a week, Id say we did pretty good considering the fact that our "free time" became extremely rare this year.
I went to 26 different restaurants for a total of 51 different times. And 21 of those times were buffets. Conclusion: Again, once a week, and almost half of the time we go to a restaurant to eat, its to a buffet, so either we want our moneys worth, or we like food too much.
I ate at 33 different fast food places for a total of 306 times. The one place we frequented the most was Subway and we went there 70 times. Conclusion: WOW! I eat WAY too much fast food. But, if theres a positive - and thats a BIG if - at least I try to eat as healthy as possible by going to places like Subway or eating veggie meals when theyre available. Still, thats way too much.
So there ya have it. A very simplified account of everything that was me for 2006. In case youre curious, no, I wont be doing the same thing this year too. Well, thats sort of true. I wont be keeping track of my food intake, just the fun stuff. :)
And with that... have a safe and exciting 2007 and try and stay away from fast food.
-- DBW --
Sunday, December 24, 2006
OhGizmo
Hello once again --
As most of you that actually know me know, Im probably one of the least "tech" people in the world. Id say I was THE least, but Im sure theres some tribesman in Uganda, sitting in a mud hut, that would debate that claim. Then again, I think I recall a couple Discovery Channel shows that showed that same tribesman bobbing his head to the sounds coming out of his iPod, so who knows.
Point is, as much as I enjoy checking out new gadgets and do-dads that Id like to have one day, I have very few, if any, of the things that are now common place in our society. I dont have an aforementioned iPod, or any other mp3 player. No cell phone. No dvd player other than my PS2, yet I still have a VCR. Heck, I havent even had a watch since my last one broke three years ago. I guess my biggest "gadget" would be my laptop Im using to type this up on.
But like I said, I enjoy the coolness of things that are technologically wonderful and theres one site I go to every single day to check them out: OhGizmo.
So if you ever get a minute, you might wanna check it out and perhaps youll stumble across the next "it" thing that everyone has to have.
And that is you site of the day. Enjoy.
-- DBW --
As most of you that actually know me know, Im probably one of the least "tech" people in the world. Id say I was THE least, but Im sure theres some tribesman in Uganda, sitting in a mud hut, that would debate that claim. Then again, I think I recall a couple Discovery Channel shows that showed that same tribesman bobbing his head to the sounds coming out of his iPod, so who knows.
Point is, as much as I enjoy checking out new gadgets and do-dads that Id like to have one day, I have very few, if any, of the things that are now common place in our society. I dont have an aforementioned iPod, or any other mp3 player. No cell phone. No dvd player other than my PS2, yet I still have a VCR. Heck, I havent even had a watch since my last one broke three years ago. I guess my biggest "gadget" would be my laptop Im using to type this up on.
But like I said, I enjoy the coolness of things that are technologically wonderful and theres one site I go to every single day to check them out: OhGizmo.
So if you ever get a minute, you might wanna check it out and perhaps youll stumble across the next "it" thing that everyone has to have.
And that is you site of the day. Enjoy.
-- DBW --
But I wann et
Merry Christmas Eve --
You know what I want for Christmas? No, not world peace, Id never ask for that cuz too many people would be out of jobs. No, not a million dollars, but I do pray to the Lottery Fairy every night. No, what Id like for Christmas is to never ever again have to see... no, hear... that Jessica Simpson "Daisy Duke" Direct TV commercial!
I could watch the commercial all day cuz I actually have a thing for Miss Simpson. Shes not my favorite female celebrity - I love you Mandy Moore! - but shes pretty darn cute. And those shorts and tight shirt look damn good on her too. But good Lord, PLEASE just turn the sound off!!!
Her Southern accent is quite dreadful, but in all honesty, I can tolerate it. The one thing in the whole commercial that drives me nuts is the background soundtrack.
"Owwwwwwwww."
What the Hell is that?!
"Owwwwwwwww."
Make it stop!!!
"Owwwwwwwww."
Please! I cant take it anymore.
"Owwwwwwwww."
My ears are bleeding.
Thats not music. It cant be. Theres no song in the history of bad music - or music in general - that would feature the sound of a cat, in heat, being tortured. Hell, it would even make Yoko Ono roll over in her grave. What..... shes not dead? Really? Well then, I guess I know what shes been up to. So Santa, please read my letter.....
Dear Big Guy,
Ive been a good boy this year, Ive eaten all my veggatibles, Ive listened to the old people, and Ive looked both ways before stealing office supplies. And, since you never got me that pony I asked for when I was a kid, I think you kinda owe me one. So please, just make it go away. Make the pain stop.
Your pal, Sammy.
Anywho, til next time yall...
-- DBW --
PS: In one of the cruelest twists imaginable, while I was typing this, the damn commercial aired twice on ESPN. TWICE!!! Why God, WHY?!?!
You know what I want for Christmas? No, not world peace, Id never ask for that cuz too many people would be out of jobs. No, not a million dollars, but I do pray to the Lottery Fairy every night. No, what Id like for Christmas is to never ever again have to see... no, hear... that Jessica Simpson "Daisy Duke" Direct TV commercial!
I could watch the commercial all day cuz I actually have a thing for Miss Simpson. Shes not my favorite female celebrity - I love you Mandy Moore! - but shes pretty darn cute. And those shorts and tight shirt look damn good on her too. But good Lord, PLEASE just turn the sound off!!!
Her Southern accent is quite dreadful, but in all honesty, I can tolerate it. The one thing in the whole commercial that drives me nuts is the background soundtrack.
"Owwwwwwwww."
What the Hell is that?!
"Owwwwwwwww."
Make it stop!!!
"Owwwwwwwww."
Please! I cant take it anymore.
"Owwwwwwwww."
My ears are bleeding.
Thats not music. It cant be. Theres no song in the history of bad music - or music in general - that would feature the sound of a cat, in heat, being tortured. Hell, it would even make Yoko Ono roll over in her grave. What..... shes not dead? Really? Well then, I guess I know what shes been up to. So Santa, please read my letter.....
Dear Big Guy,
Ive been a good boy this year, Ive eaten all my veggatibles, Ive listened to the old people, and Ive looked both ways before stealing office supplies. And, since you never got me that pony I asked for when I was a kid, I think you kinda owe me one. So please, just make it go away. Make the pain stop.
Your pal, Sammy.
Anywho, til next time yall...
-- DBW --
PS: In one of the cruelest twists imaginable, while I was typing this, the damn commercial aired twice on ESPN. TWICE!!! Why God, WHY?!?!
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Kill Barry Bonds!
Sup yo --
Im a couple days late with this, but my hatred for Baroid Bonds knows no time frame.
12/07/2006
LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. -- The Giants agreed in principle on Thursday to re-sign slugger Barry Bonds for the 2007 season, said a source with knowledge of the negotiations.
The deal, pending Bonds passing the requisite physical, is believed to be one year for $16 million, and guarantees that Bonds will continue his pursuit of Hank Aaron's Major League all-time home run record in his familiar No. 25 San Francisco uniform.
Lets look at that again. Barry Bonds, a known and admitted steroid user, who has at least one bad knee and at times needs crutches to walk, just signed a one year deal for $16 million dollars - and if everything lines up properly, hell end up making $20m - and will be allowed to continue his grossly undeserved pursuit of a hallowed baseball record set years ago by a truly great athlete and a classy person.
Nobody wants this to happen. Unless they live in San Francisco, where the whole city has hopped aboard the giant Balco needle sticking out of Baroids ass and are more than happy to ride it, and him, all the way to the record.
What happened to the Barry that said last year that he would never do anything to tarnish Hank Aarons record? What happened to the small glimmer of hope that Barry would quietly slip into nothingness once the season was over and let the record stand, the way it should? Oh yeah, his ego, and $16 million dollars got in the way. And now it appears that nothing will stop a juiced up Barry from hitting 21 more home runs and stealing something he knows he has no business of getting into smelling distance of.
The record will be tarnished. The game will be tarnished. And a great man will be erased from the record books. But none of that matters to a hopped up, egotistical, waste of a human being.
Kill Barry Bonds. And kill him now before its too late.
-- DBW --
Im a couple days late with this, but my hatred for Baroid Bonds knows no time frame.
12/07/2006
LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. -- The Giants agreed in principle on Thursday to re-sign slugger Barry Bonds for the 2007 season, said a source with knowledge of the negotiations.
The deal, pending Bonds passing the requisite physical, is believed to be one year for $16 million, and guarantees that Bonds will continue his pursuit of Hank Aaron's Major League all-time home run record in his familiar No. 25 San Francisco uniform.
Lets look at that again. Barry Bonds, a known and admitted steroid user, who has at least one bad knee and at times needs crutches to walk, just signed a one year deal for $16 million dollars - and if everything lines up properly, hell end up making $20m - and will be allowed to continue his grossly undeserved pursuit of a hallowed baseball record set years ago by a truly great athlete and a classy person.
Nobody wants this to happen. Unless they live in San Francisco, where the whole city has hopped aboard the giant Balco needle sticking out of Baroids ass and are more than happy to ride it, and him, all the way to the record.
What happened to the Barry that said last year that he would never do anything to tarnish Hank Aarons record? What happened to the small glimmer of hope that Barry would quietly slip into nothingness once the season was over and let the record stand, the way it should? Oh yeah, his ego, and $16 million dollars got in the way. And now it appears that nothing will stop a juiced up Barry from hitting 21 more home runs and stealing something he knows he has no business of getting into smelling distance of.
The record will be tarnished. The game will be tarnished. And a great man will be erased from the record books. But none of that matters to a hopped up, egotistical, waste of a human being.
Kill Barry Bonds. And kill him now before its too late.
-- DBW --
Wrestling fans are dumb
Hola my peeps --
Being one myself, its kind of difficult for me to say this, but I hate wrestling fans. Ok, maybe not hate, maybe just embarrassed by them. No, even better: I hate them, they embarrass me, and in turn, I am embarrassed for them.
I went down to Ticketmaster yesterday to buy tickets for Smackdown in February and managed to snag the second spot in line, which is odd cuz Im usually around number 10. The guy in front of me happened to be an acquaintance from work. Not someone that works with me, just someone that comes in alot to shop. Our little line quickly grew to three and so I didnt have to bother with any forced conversation with my "friend." Unfortunately, this is where my embarrassment comes in.
Im probably not at the top of anybodys "cool" scale, but Id like to believe - even if its a delusional belief - that I can pass for it once in a while. So there I am, standing in line being cool, and guys 1 and 3 are talking about wrestling. Not unusual for people to talk about what theyre planning to see... except when the people are going to see a fictional show and, on some level, honestly believe that what they see in the ring is real. Two people who know its entertainment could not have had the conversations these two were having. To watch wrestling requires a suspension of belief, but these guys were in denial. And, sadly, theyre not alone. And to back that point up, guy 4 walks in and joins the conversation.
So again, there I am, in line, trying to be cool, while three morons are talking about the very "real" sport of wrestling. There were many times I wanted to laugh, like when they tried talking about the actual real behind the scenes issues, cuz it was all bullshit, it was like they were trying to impress each other, except that it was obvious neither knew anything. Or when they used words like "anthrology" and called wrestlers by the wrong name. Or when one guy said "You know whats funny? How theyre all dying." How is that funny? And the guys he named, theyd been dead for year. Kinda like me saying "You know whats funny? How all the movies are silent and in black and white." Neither funny nor currently relevant.
Really, I never wanted to be farther away from a group of people than I did today. And thats saying alot considering the company I keep.
So now its 10am, the ticket window opens, and they call the first guy - the guy I know - up to buy tickets. Obviously I cant recall the seats exactly, but what follows is how the next eight minutes went:
Guy 1: "Id like to buy 2 tickets, on the floor, section B, by the ramp."
Ticketmaster: "The best seats I can get you are Floor C, Row 2, Seats 4 and 5."
Guy 1: "Umm.... (turning to Guy 3 in line) can I see your map again?"
Guy 3: "Yeah, here you go."
Guy 1: "So he says these are the tickets I can get, are those good seats?"
Guy 3: "Yeah, theyre ok I guess."
Guy 1: (Back to the Ticketmaster guy) "Ok, can I get those?"
TM: "Sorry, those tickets are gone now."
Guy 1: "...................umm......... ok, umm........ where can I get now?"
TM: "The best I can get you are Floor G, Row 8, Seats 9 and 10."
Guy 1: "Ok, umm, how much are those going to be?"
TM: "$75 each, plus a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "$75 each, plus a $12 service charge?"
TM: "Yes."
Guy 1: "Ok, umm...... what can I get for $50?"
TM: "For $50 I can get you.... Loge 7, Row 3, Seats 12 and 13."
Guy 1: (Turning to Guy 3) "Can I see your map again?"
Guy 3: "Ok."
Guy 1: "So what do you think, are these good seats?"
Guy 3: "Well, if you get these seats you can see over the crowd (demonstrates this with his hands) and you wont have to worry about people standing up and blocking your view."
Guy 1: "So then I should get these then?"
Guy 3: "Yeah."
Guy 1: (Turning back to Ticketmaster) "Ok, can I get those?"
TM: "Sorry, those are gone now."
Guy 1: "..................... oh, what about those seats you told me the first time?"
TM: "Those are already gone."
Guy 1: "...............................ok, where can I get on the floor?"
TM: "The best right now is Floor Q, Row 5, Seats 4 and 5."
Guy 1: "And those are how much?"
TM: "$75 plus a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "$75 plus a $12 service charge?"
TM: "Yes."
Guy 1: (Counting his money) "And for $50 I can get what again?"
TM: "Right now I can get you Loge 12, Row 9, Seats 16 and 17."
Guy 1: "...................................................................................... (to Guy 3) Can I see your map?"
Guy 3: "Sure."
Guy 1: "Hmm.... he says I can get here or here."
Guy 3: "Try to get these."
Guy 1: (Back to Ticketmaster) "Ok, can I get the floor ones?"
TM: Sorry, those are gone now."
Guy 1: "........................ ok, can I get the Loge ones?"
TM: "Sorry, those are now gone too."
Guy 1: "........................ umm............. can I just get the best you have then?"
TM: "That would be Floor Z, Row 70, Seats 99 and 100."
Guy 1: "And how much are those?"
TM: "$75 and a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "Ok, Ill get those."
I swear to you, I wanted to go up and slap the boy upside the head. Did he not comprehend that he had to make a quick decision? Did he not comprehend that there was a line of people behind him that were losing seats cuz he was being a dumbass?
So what seats did I get? Not the ones I usually do cuz, for some odd reason, I was delayed getting to the ticket window. Hopefully theyll be pretty decent enough though and well have a good time. Otherwise, the next time my "friend" comes into the store, Im kicking his ass. For real.
Til next time...
-- DBW --
Being one myself, its kind of difficult for me to say this, but I hate wrestling fans. Ok, maybe not hate, maybe just embarrassed by them. No, even better: I hate them, they embarrass me, and in turn, I am embarrassed for them.
I went down to Ticketmaster yesterday to buy tickets for Smackdown in February and managed to snag the second spot in line, which is odd cuz Im usually around number 10. The guy in front of me happened to be an acquaintance from work. Not someone that works with me, just someone that comes in alot to shop. Our little line quickly grew to three and so I didnt have to bother with any forced conversation with my "friend." Unfortunately, this is where my embarrassment comes in.
Im probably not at the top of anybodys "cool" scale, but Id like to believe - even if its a delusional belief - that I can pass for it once in a while. So there I am, standing in line being cool, and guys 1 and 3 are talking about wrestling. Not unusual for people to talk about what theyre planning to see... except when the people are going to see a fictional show and, on some level, honestly believe that what they see in the ring is real. Two people who know its entertainment could not have had the conversations these two were having. To watch wrestling requires a suspension of belief, but these guys were in denial. And, sadly, theyre not alone. And to back that point up, guy 4 walks in and joins the conversation.
So again, there I am, in line, trying to be cool, while three morons are talking about the very "real" sport of wrestling. There were many times I wanted to laugh, like when they tried talking about the actual real behind the scenes issues, cuz it was all bullshit, it was like they were trying to impress each other, except that it was obvious neither knew anything. Or when they used words like "anthrology" and called wrestlers by the wrong name. Or when one guy said "You know whats funny? How theyre all dying." How is that funny? And the guys he named, theyd been dead for year. Kinda like me saying "You know whats funny? How all the movies are silent and in black and white." Neither funny nor currently relevant.
Really, I never wanted to be farther away from a group of people than I did today. And thats saying alot considering the company I keep.
So now its 10am, the ticket window opens, and they call the first guy - the guy I know - up to buy tickets. Obviously I cant recall the seats exactly, but what follows is how the next eight minutes went:
Guy 1: "Id like to buy 2 tickets, on the floor, section B, by the ramp."
Ticketmaster: "The best seats I can get you are Floor C, Row 2, Seats 4 and 5."
Guy 1: "Umm.... (turning to Guy 3 in line) can I see your map again?"
Guy 3: "Yeah, here you go."
Guy 1: "So he says these are the tickets I can get, are those good seats?"
Guy 3: "Yeah, theyre ok I guess."
Guy 1: (Back to the Ticketmaster guy) "Ok, can I get those?"
TM: "Sorry, those tickets are gone now."
Guy 1: "...................umm......... ok, umm........ where can I get now?"
TM: "The best I can get you are Floor G, Row 8, Seats 9 and 10."
Guy 1: "Ok, umm, how much are those going to be?"
TM: "$75 each, plus a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "$75 each, plus a $12 service charge?"
TM: "Yes."
Guy 1: "Ok, umm...... what can I get for $50?"
TM: "For $50 I can get you.... Loge 7, Row 3, Seats 12 and 13."
Guy 1: (Turning to Guy 3) "Can I see your map again?"
Guy 3: "Ok."
Guy 1: "So what do you think, are these good seats?"
Guy 3: "Well, if you get these seats you can see over the crowd (demonstrates this with his hands) and you wont have to worry about people standing up and blocking your view."
Guy 1: "So then I should get these then?"
Guy 3: "Yeah."
Guy 1: (Turning back to Ticketmaster) "Ok, can I get those?"
TM: "Sorry, those are gone now."
Guy 1: "..................... oh, what about those seats you told me the first time?"
TM: "Those are already gone."
Guy 1: "...............................ok, where can I get on the floor?"
TM: "The best right now is Floor Q, Row 5, Seats 4 and 5."
Guy 1: "And those are how much?"
TM: "$75 plus a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "$75 plus a $12 service charge?"
TM: "Yes."
Guy 1: (Counting his money) "And for $50 I can get what again?"
TM: "Right now I can get you Loge 12, Row 9, Seats 16 and 17."
Guy 1: "...................................................................................... (to Guy 3) Can I see your map?"
Guy 3: "Sure."
Guy 1: "Hmm.... he says I can get here or here."
Guy 3: "Try to get these."
Guy 1: (Back to Ticketmaster) "Ok, can I get the floor ones?"
TM: Sorry, those are gone now."
Guy 1: "........................ ok, can I get the Loge ones?"
TM: "Sorry, those are now gone too."
Guy 1: "........................ umm............. can I just get the best you have then?"
TM: "That would be Floor Z, Row 70, Seats 99 and 100."
Guy 1: "And how much are those?"
TM: "$75 and a $12 service charge."
Guy 1: "Ok, Ill get those."
I swear to you, I wanted to go up and slap the boy upside the head. Did he not comprehend that he had to make a quick decision? Did he not comprehend that there was a line of people behind him that were losing seats cuz he was being a dumbass?
So what seats did I get? Not the ones I usually do cuz, for some odd reason, I was delayed getting to the ticket window. Hopefully theyll be pretty decent enough though and well have a good time. Otherwise, the next time my "friend" comes into the store, Im kicking his ass. For real.
Til next time...
-- DBW --
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I hate dogs
Yo --
Its been five days and I still lay here in pain. I have a slight - yet painful - pull in the back of my leg and my back is either broken or in such severe knots that it feels like it is. Combined, my ailments cause me extreme discomfort when I walk.
I hate dogs.
Friday morning, very early, Im leaving my house to walk down the block and meet Blanca to go to work. My street is full of dogs and its not uncommon to hear one, or seven, barking at any given time, so when - at 4 in the morning - I walked past a house two away from mine and heard one barking, I didnt really give it much thought.
Until it got louder.
I glanced to my right and saw that the neighbors pit bull was sitting outside. Great. I continued to walk and then the barking sounded like it was getting closer. I glanced back and saw that the pit bull wasnt sitting anymore... it was now chasing me!
All I can remember seeing initially was these jaws full of teeth opening and closing and making this evil growling sound like it wanted to tear me apart. And they were getting closer and closer. By the time my mind told my feet to get a movin' the pit bull was about 7 feet away from me. And thats like 57 feet too close.
I dont think Ive ever run as fast in my life. Im not as young as I used to be, and even when I was, Im positive I was never that fast. I ran, and ran, and ran, for about a block and a half. And at one point, with the pit bull about two feet behind me, I came to the conclusion that I had to stop running and kick its ass before it kicked mine. Only problem was that, as fast as I was running, I couldnt figure out how to stop and face him without falling on my butt and him jumping on top of me. So I continued to run.
I made it to the corner of the main street, and as I rounded it I saw Blanca turning the corner a block away. Safety was close. Halfway down the block I turned back and saw that the pit bull had given up the chase and was now headed back home. I actually out ran him. My will to survive was apparently greater than his will to maul me.
So I slow to a jog and frantically wave my arms to get Blanca to stop and let me in... and she drives right by me. Right by me and down my street. The street with the pit bull that I wouldnt be able to out run a second time.
So there I am, a block and a half away from home, away from safety, and Im not sure what to do next except that theres no way in Hell Im going back down my street. So I cautiously walk to the corner and see that Blanca had turned into my driveway and was now backing out to face the way she came. To face the direction I was in. So I stood in the middle of the street, waved my arms, and hoped she could see me from a block away. Thankfully she could and she drove back to pick me up. How she could see me a block away and not see me running directly at her, I got no clue.
Once in the car, I called my house to tell everyone to be careful cuz the pit bull was loose. After telling my tale, the response was "Why didnt you come back home?" Yeah, I can see that happening - me being chased by a vicious dog, running back to my house, stopping at my front door, reaching into my pocket to get my wallet, looking for the key, trying to put the key in the key hole of the screen door in near total darkness, finally getting the screen door open, then taking the key and trying to find the key hole to the front door to get it open, and the whole time the pit bull is patiently behind me, tapping his foot, checking his watch, and wondering when the chase was going to continue. Yeah, why didnt I go back home?
I hang up, and now Im able to finally catch my breath, and with the adrenalin finally wearing off, my body started to explode internally. I finally felt the pull in my leg, and it felt like a muscle had been ripped from my bone - and that has yet to go away and continues to cause me to walk awkwardly, though it does seem to be getting better. And my back felt like it had been shattered, and for the most part still does. I still cant go from motionless to moving without near excruciating back pain. I get why my leg feels the way it does, cuz I was running for my life, but Im at a loss to explain why my back is the way it is. Im just all screwed up.
And as a side note, to make my day even worse, this wasnt any ordinary Friday. This was "Black Friday" and I had to work 10 hours in retail Hell. In severe pain.
I hate dogs.
So until next time...
-- DBW --
Its been five days and I still lay here in pain. I have a slight - yet painful - pull in the back of my leg and my back is either broken or in such severe knots that it feels like it is. Combined, my ailments cause me extreme discomfort when I walk.
I hate dogs.
Friday morning, very early, Im leaving my house to walk down the block and meet Blanca to go to work. My street is full of dogs and its not uncommon to hear one, or seven, barking at any given time, so when - at 4 in the morning - I walked past a house two away from mine and heard one barking, I didnt really give it much thought.
Until it got louder.
I glanced to my right and saw that the neighbors pit bull was sitting outside. Great. I continued to walk and then the barking sounded like it was getting closer. I glanced back and saw that the pit bull wasnt sitting anymore... it was now chasing me!
All I can remember seeing initially was these jaws full of teeth opening and closing and making this evil growling sound like it wanted to tear me apart. And they were getting closer and closer. By the time my mind told my feet to get a movin' the pit bull was about 7 feet away from me. And thats like 57 feet too close.
I dont think Ive ever run as fast in my life. Im not as young as I used to be, and even when I was, Im positive I was never that fast. I ran, and ran, and ran, for about a block and a half. And at one point, with the pit bull about two feet behind me, I came to the conclusion that I had to stop running and kick its ass before it kicked mine. Only problem was that, as fast as I was running, I couldnt figure out how to stop and face him without falling on my butt and him jumping on top of me. So I continued to run.
I made it to the corner of the main street, and as I rounded it I saw Blanca turning the corner a block away. Safety was close. Halfway down the block I turned back and saw that the pit bull had given up the chase and was now headed back home. I actually out ran him. My will to survive was apparently greater than his will to maul me.
So I slow to a jog and frantically wave my arms to get Blanca to stop and let me in... and she drives right by me. Right by me and down my street. The street with the pit bull that I wouldnt be able to out run a second time.
So there I am, a block and a half away from home, away from safety, and Im not sure what to do next except that theres no way in Hell Im going back down my street. So I cautiously walk to the corner and see that Blanca had turned into my driveway and was now backing out to face the way she came. To face the direction I was in. So I stood in the middle of the street, waved my arms, and hoped she could see me from a block away. Thankfully she could and she drove back to pick me up. How she could see me a block away and not see me running directly at her, I got no clue.
Once in the car, I called my house to tell everyone to be careful cuz the pit bull was loose. After telling my tale, the response was "Why didnt you come back home?" Yeah, I can see that happening - me being chased by a vicious dog, running back to my house, stopping at my front door, reaching into my pocket to get my wallet, looking for the key, trying to put the key in the key hole of the screen door in near total darkness, finally getting the screen door open, then taking the key and trying to find the key hole to the front door to get it open, and the whole time the pit bull is patiently behind me, tapping his foot, checking his watch, and wondering when the chase was going to continue. Yeah, why didnt I go back home?
I hang up, and now Im able to finally catch my breath, and with the adrenalin finally wearing off, my body started to explode internally. I finally felt the pull in my leg, and it felt like a muscle had been ripped from my bone - and that has yet to go away and continues to cause me to walk awkwardly, though it does seem to be getting better. And my back felt like it had been shattered, and for the most part still does. I still cant go from motionless to moving without near excruciating back pain. I get why my leg feels the way it does, cuz I was running for my life, but Im at a loss to explain why my back is the way it is. Im just all screwed up.
And as a side note, to make my day even worse, this wasnt any ordinary Friday. This was "Black Friday" and I had to work 10 hours in retail Hell. In severe pain.
I hate dogs.
So until next time...
-- DBW --
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